It Was Bound To Happen Eventually

I don't know how Ben Affleck conned Jennifer Garner into not only bearing his offspring, but also tying the knot with him. Here's a quote from the Superficial, who in turn is quoting the Enquirer ('cause I can't be bothered to go to the original source):

"Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have secretly married, The National Enquirer can exclusively reveal … Wearing white, the pregnant Alias star sealed her union with Ben on a sandy beach on the Turks and Caicos island yesterday evening. With the sun setting, her costar Victor Garber watched as Jen, 33, and Ben, 32,embraced and kissed. The couple flew to the paradise hideaway yesterday morning.It is understood the couple are leaving the luxury resort Parrot Cay, where they spent their first night as a married couple, later today or tomorrow."

I know what you're saying to yourself. "It's the Enquirer, didn't they just run a story on the Bat-Boy and Bigfoot international peace summit they held in the headquarters of the United Nations?" Yeah, they do report on such things, but this one seems to be the least outlandish of their stories. About as believable as Mary "Can't Eat" Kate Olsen's eating disorder, or the fact that President GW Bush meets with aliens for regularly scheduled anal probing on a weekly basis. Oh wait, sorry, that's just Dick Cheney with his hand up his puppet. I get those things confused sometimes.