Monday, July 11, 2005

Woof Woof - Oy Vay!

After taking our Basset Hound, Squishy, to the dog park yesterday, the wife and I are convinced that he is a Jew. Not that he displayed any sort of greedy tendencies, no avarice, and he wasn't sporting a yamakka. What leads me to believe that our Squishster is of Jewish descent (other than his large schnoze) is that he got attacked by two different German Shepherds.

I've owned German Shepherds in the past, and maybe these two were somewhat territorial and ticked off for some reason, but I think their deep down ingrained Nazi breed-brain washing can rear it's ugly head from time to time. Squishy is not an aggressive dog at all. He plays with any living being, and yes, he can be a little overzealous in his displays of affection, but he's an overall well-meaning pup. Maybe he sniffed the wrong ass yesterday, but it really should not have warranted the German Shepherd to bark and chase him away the first time.

The 2nd time was a little later, when the owners of the dog were on their way out. This time, it was totally unprovoked, as Squishy was just hanging out towards the middle of the dog park, and this asshole of a German Shepherd just lunged at him and tried to take a bite off his ass. He managed to scamper off unharmed, so that was a relief. I just don't get why he would be attacked like that. Maybe the other dog had ball envy, I don't know, but it was fairly odd.

This discovery of my dog possibly being Jewish is going to change the way we celebrate the holiday season by the way. We're going to have to give him 8 presents instead of the customary 1 he's been getting for Christmas. I don't know how well he'll do lighting his own Menorah, but whatever, if I have to help him practice his beliefs, then so be it.

3 comments:

Crazy Dan said...

Thats just fucked up man. That dog has like clothes on. Thats really depressing. Thats animal cruelty!!

Jaime said...

that was a one time thing man, he tore that shirt right off after we took the picture. now we're just holding them as incriminating evidence, in case he gets out of line.

|absolute absurdities| said...

nice dog btw...look at them eyes! just screams hold me..lol! I don't have anything against the jews but lets hope he's not one.

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