Toilet Stoppers

I've noticed a really strange phenomena happening in the work bathroom next to our cubicle section. About 3 - 4 days a week, in the afternoon, someone stops up 2 of the toilets. I don't know if it's humongous turds blocking the flow of water or the half a pack of ass-gaskets that are floating int he middle of the porcelain fixture, wadded up, and making the water rise to an uncomfortable level when I push the flusher with my foot. It's really disgusting, but I can't help but think what a terrible time it must be for the janitor that needs to come in and clean up the mess.

Now, I'm not sure if this is a clandestine operation, or the work of a single disgruntled employee. Whoever it is, it's a male, since I don't frequent the female lavatories. I'm . . . overqualified if you will. So that rules out a large amount of the people that work here. Mostly employeed in my area are "soccer moms", and you betcha they're soccer moms as a grand majority of them are hispanic. There are a fair share of guys, mostly white, and making much more money than yours truly.

I can't think of why they would have it out for the janitor. Who is a woman by the way. She's got to knock on the door everytime she goes in to re-stock the toilet paper and paper towels in there and clean up after the messier employees. I don't get some of the people around here though. Seriously, it's not like you just stopped using pull-up diapers. It's not hard to aim and make sure all of your urine doesn't end up on the floor, stall walls and toilet seat. I know some of them might be in a hurry, being that they're "high-power" internet executives, but come on . . . have a little decency and compassion for the poor woman.

So, to the toilet stopper roaming the bathrooms here at work . . . quit it. You're a disgusting pig and a poor excuse for a human being. Go shit in the bushes you god damn bastard. And so help me God if I ever catch you in the act, I will dunk your head in there and hold it while I take a hot shit all over your head.