Trailer Park

If you're anything like me, you spend a lot of time over at the Apple website ogling the hardware like an 18 year old who just stepped into his first titty bar. God I love the computers there . . and the iPods . . and the . . STOP! Ok, I'm getting off track here. After realising that my meager wages won't be enough to satisfy the computing hunger that builds inside me daily, I head on over to the Quicktime tab to check out trailers for upcoming movies. Here are a few that caught my eye this morning.

Jarhead - From the director of American Beauty, this one stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Chris Cooper, Peter Sarsgaard and Jamie Foxx who I'm sure is looking to shake the stench of "Stealth" off of himself. As far as I can tell from this trailer, this is about the first Iraq war. Might be worth a trip to the theater with The Sal. Although . . he might get flashbacks. Must remember to bring some sort of sedative. This one hits theaters in November.

The Fog - Tom Welling (Smallville), Selma Blair, Maggie Grace (Lost) and other actors that end up being fodder for Pirate ghosts star in this remake due out in October. I read somewhere that John Carpenter is OK with this being redone. I guess he's OK with cashing in on the paycheck they doled out to him. I can't tell if it's good or not from the trailer . . . but that fog looks pretty constipated . . and that would be enough to piss me off into offing a whole coastal town.

Everything Is Illuminated - Elijah Wood and a bunch of people with silly accents star in this movie by first time director Liev Shrieber. If that name sounds familiar, it's because you've seen him in a couple of movies. He was the Manchurian Candidate in the remake of the same name starring Denzel Washington last year. This is one of those "indie" films, so no explosions, no large special effects budget, no CGI, just a personal story of something or other that I'm sure will get your date to get all touchy feely with you while you're watching it in the theater. Trailer can be found here.

Doom - The complete opposite of the movie listed above, DOOM promises to be that movie that has the decent special effects budget with explosions, futuristic gun battles and computer generated baddies. It stars Karl Urban (The Two Towers, Bourne Supremacy) and The Rock. I like The Rock more as an actor than a wrestler, so it doesn't bother me that he's in this. This movie seems to be following the DOOM 3 storyline, so if they can get only a fraction of that translated onto the screen, it's going to be a fun 2 hours.

Serenity - This is the kind of movie that only came about because of the fans. The large amount of copies purchased of the entire run of the series, "Firefly", that was yanked by FOX prematurely, fueled the conception of this project. This is Joss Whedon's vision of the future. All the actors from the TV show are reprising their roles, and I hope this starts some sort of franchise for this universe. It's great fun, kind of a like a western in space. Words can't describe how much I have been anticipating this . . . so just check out the trailer. Come on September, get here already!

A Sound of Thunder - I only post this as a educational treatise on how NOT to make a movie based on an Isaac Asimov story. You all remember "I, Robot" starring Will Smith right . . . well, Hollywood keeps mining the Asimov mine, raping his legacy with seriously crappy movie material. Check out the travesty here. Prepare to be underwhelmed. Oh . . and time travel in 50 years? Yeah fucking right.

So end this edition of Trailer Park. I might do this every week or so . . . or not.