BAFW Kabbalah Center

Announcing the grand opening of the virtual BAFW Kabbalah Center for the enrichment of the Jaime. Why open this organization? Well, I'm really hoping that Britney Spears donates a hefty sum of money like she just recently did to another, much less important, Kabbalah related charity. Just how much? $32,000. And why? To ensure that her child can start learning Kabbalah as soon as it pops out of her. What a nice parent. Making sure that her child belongs to a cult in utero.

This donation was made at the behest of Britney's spiritual mentor . . . Madonna. Yeah, she's taking spiritual cues from that old dried up hag. At this rate, she'll probably start taking nutrional advice from her dog Bit-Bit on how to lose that baby-makin' weight. I can already see her hunched over a metal bowl sharing the Kibbles N' Bits with her barely canine companion.

And what does Kevin Federline have to say about this? Not a damn thing. She's not paying him to talk. So Britney, my Kabbalah center is much better than the one Madonna's endorsing. It's got a much more direct link to the . . . um . . Kabbalah-whatzis thingamajigger . . and . . um . . . just write the check out to me. I'll explain it later.