Kabbalah-ntics

Well, it seems Kabbalah is not as powerful as Madonna thought it would be. Otherwise, that little red piece of string around her wrist would have protected her from falling of a horse during her 47th birthday celebration. Wait . . Madonna's 47?? Holy shit. What's she doing riding horses? Shouldn't she be hooked up to a oxygen tanks and eating all her meals via tube? Anyway . . . she suffered from 3 cracked ribs, a broken collarbone and a broken hand. The gap in the middle of her teeth is still intact. Gap-toothed bitch lovers can rest easy.

What does this all have to do with Kabbalah. Well, it is believed by the followers of this cult-ish religion that wearing those little red bracelets will bless and protect you . . . if you donate enough of your life savings to the movement. I guess Madonna must have been late on her "blessing and protecting" insurance. Her Kabbalah force-field must have been disabled when she lapsed in her payments. Oh well . . . it's all a sham anyway. Not like that Scientology. That stuff is 100% real.