Jude Law's Teeny Tiny Pecker

Vindication! Men of the world rejoice. Jude Law has a smaller than average penis. This was recently found out when pictures of him changing out of his bathing suit in France leaked out to the British tabloid rags. I haven't seen the pictures personally, nor would I have the necessary equipment to view them. My electron microscope is currently in the shop getting it's electron's re-electrified. I hate it when there are more protons than electrons when I'm trying to see something infinitely miniscule. Anyway, here's a quote that pretty much sums up the whole issue that makes the above completely unnecessary.

"He's no Tommy Lee, that's for sure," sighed one unimpressed publicist who viewed copies of the paparazzi pix obtained by PAGE SIX."

I'm not sure if this makes me feel all that great though. He still looks like Jude Law. To really make this story stand out for me, a pallet full of concrete bricks should have fallen on his head. Then, while crushed, his pants would have fallen off, and then the women of the world would have seen, or had trouble finding, the teeny tiny pecker in question. Yeah, that's the story I'm waiting for.