Kelly Carlson is Crazy

Kelly Carlson, who shouldn't be wearing that much clothes ever, is crazy. Yeah, I know she plays a somewhat unhinged porn star on the FX show "Nip/Tuck", but in real life, she's crazy too. Anyone familiar with the show will remember the episode where a life sized Real Doll sextoy was made to look exactly like her, and one of the plastic surgeons fucked the shit out of it. Well . . she decided to keep it as a memento.

"She's in my living room. I put pants and a sweater on her to make her a non-sexual being. I have to warn people about her, because she's a little freaky. So many people have told me to sell her on eBay, but it freaks me out what people would do with her. She has my face, so I'm protective. I don't want her to get sexually violated."

Yeah, it's not wearing sexy garter belts and lingerie, she's dressed up the sex doll as a friggin' soccer mom and probably has nice little tea parties with it where they talk about the weather, what hot boys they saw when they went shopping, and tips on how to keep their blond hair blond. This is ridiculous. That is not how the thing was intended to be used.

But it's good to know that someone is sticking up for sex toy rights in America. Go on Kelly Carlson. Don't let them be relegated to the back of the bus. You can be the Rosa Parks of the "Don't sexually violate the sextoys" movement. Power to the plastic people!