Terrorism Down Under

After the attacks on London transportation networks, the world is a little on edge fearing that they're next on the terrorist hit list. Countries are adopting an "if you see something, say something" approach when it comes to "suspicious" items being left behind, which is exactly what prompted an Aussie bus driver to call the cops to investigate a package that was left behind in his bus.

SYDNEY (Reuters) -The driver found the package on the rear seat of his bus after completing his route around the Sydney beachside of Coogee Sunday. Fearing it could be an explosive device of some kind, he called the police. "It was an unattended item, emitting a popping sound," a police spokesman said. "Just as a precautionary measure, police went and investigated. It's a whoopee cushion," he said.

Is this one of those "dirty bombs" I keep hearing about? Are terrorists resorting to fart technology to disrupt our corrupt, capitalist governments? If that's the case, then I am guilty of setting of one of those dirty bombs. What can I say, I was young at the time. I thought it'd be funny to set off a stink bomb in the meat department of the local grocerie store. Let's see how long the CIA takes to get here and arrest me. Oh, they better get to me quickly, I'm planning another dirty bomb attack within the next hour or so. I had beans for dinner last night.