Trends in Reality TV

When did reality TV go wrong. It would seem like there would be a nearly inexhaustible amount of unscripted television out there for producers in Hollywood to make tons of money on. Yet, they seem to have run out of ideas . . . good ones at least. I keep catching promos while channel surfing for things that really make me do a double-take, things that leave me scratching my head wondering "Someone actually pitched that idea to a network exec, and they actually went for it?"

For an example, we've got this gem on the air called "Dancing With The Stars". This seriously is a show where B-level "stars" pair up with world "renown" ballroom dancers to compete in weekly dance offs. I know, it's ridiculous, and the most shocking thing is it's doing great ratings. People go through their week in anticipation of DWTS (title abrev), When things like this happen, Networks jump on the band wagon, eager to make a mint from advertisers. This is why FOX will be coming out in the fall with something . . . and I kid you not . . . called "Ice-Skating With The Stars" (or something to that effect). Same premise of DWTS, but on ice. At this point in time, if I want to watch any B-level celebs, I'd much rather welcome the return of Celebrity Boxing.

I can see how the success of one program can lead to copycats. Take your "Nanny 911"/"Supernanny" shows.Then there's "Wifeswap"/Trading Spouses". They're all terrible shows, but now we have them multiplied by a factor of two. It seriously is infuriating when I'm looking for quality scripted televised programming and the channels are clogged with this.

Although, as bad as the previous shows listed are (or might be), they don't hold a candle to the televised dreck that is "Chaotic; Britney and Kevin" . . or whatever it's called. A show were we are asked during the opening sequence if we can handle Britney Spears' "truth". Yeah, she actually posits this query . . . and then we're subjected to her holding a mini DV cam and going through her day . . which includes (in no particular order): "fooling" the viewer into thinkning that her knees are her boobs, coming to terms with the fact that someone farted in a car, asking her backup dancers what their favorite sexual positions are (only to cut away when the question is turned around on her . . fucking hypocrite), and being interviewed trying to look her best . . . which, these days isn't great. Thank you Kevin Federline. I mean, Britney wasn't a genius, but she at least looked decent enough, now she looks like the trailer trash that she genetically was predetermined to become.

And then there's the Paris Hilton phenomena. There seriously have been three different seasons of the "Simple Life". They have all been rating successes. I don't know why America likes to watch a slut doing her best to mortify her parents. She says she's playing a character. A (in her words) "Clueless meets Legally Blonde" character. She should fire whatever publicist came up with that, 'cause it's not working. You're not fooling me Hilton. You may be filthy rich, but at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that Walmart is not the wall store. Idiot. And that cokehead Nicole Ritchie . . . don't get me started on her. She broke Lindsey Lohan (more on that later). See, nothing good can come from reality television.

So, I propose a moratorium on all new reality televised programs. Networks, please start working. Don't just hand a camera to any idiot and slap it on the TV. Actually take the time to come up with something original, insightful, full of suspense, comedy, and drama. That's what America needs. It may want "reality tv", but what it needs is quality. I just hope it doesn't come to "Trading Britney and Kevin's Chaotic Super Nanny 911 with the Stars on Ice". That is the day when I officially turn my television off . . . and it's not coming back on.

*Music I listened to while coming up with this entry:
Almost Crimes -Broken Social Scene
Missing - Beck
Endgame - Rogue Wave
The Falls - French Kicks
Rich - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Caramel - Suzanne Vega
Talking Shit About A Pretty Sunset - Modest Mouse
I Wonder - The Willowz