Tough Fogeys

I want to know how these old fellows in my gym are getting to be so musclebound. I'm not talking old like late 30's early 40's. I'm talking late 60's early 70's. It's incredible really. These guys have a way better physique than I probably have ever had. The belong in Venice (or Dogtown, if you're a recently time-machined to our present skate-boarder from the 70's) Beach on that ultra-faggy outdoor gym. Then, I look at myself and feel inadequate (but never effiminate). I'm willing to bet any of of these septegenarians can take me on in a bare-knuckle brawl . . . mostly because I believe I fractured a knuckle when I punched a door that was looking at me funny this one time. So I'm not keen on punching anything until I get a full set of X-Rays on these beautiful fists of mine.

They scare me, but not as much as the old guys at my old gym do. If you've been to the West Hollywood 24Hr Fitness (and if you have, then you know they're not actually open 24hrs/day) then you'll know what I'm talking about. If you've never ventured into West Hollywood in fear of your be-hymen being broken by a gang of well-worked out gay guys (and let's face it . . gay guys are always in the best of shape) then what you're missing out on is elderly, wrinkled asses and ball-sacks in full display in the locker rooms. It's disgusting. I'm not adverse to seeing another naked grown man (don't look forward to it though), but a little common decency would be appreciated. Towels we're invented for a reason. Wrap it around your waist. Don't drape it over your shoulder and walk around with "Ol' Dangly" in full view. I'm sure even the younger homos don't appreciate the unwarranted withered penis flashing as well.

So, between the buff Fogeys and the naked Fogeys, working out is not on top of my "Things I Want To Do Real Bad" list. Unfortunately, it is on top of my "Things I Have To Do Real Bad" list. Those two are usually opposing forces that meet on the field of battle that I like to call my "Decission Making Process". And, after Braveheart-style combat the Haves usually kill the Wants. Life isn't fair for the Wants.