Gophers

Sometimes i feel like a gopher at work, popping out of my cubicle whenever i hear something going on. It's mostly due to the endless amount of people that i talk to each day (i'm sure i've talked to you if you have an internet connection). You see, the people I, along with my coworkers, talk to are not the brightest. They're like a random 40 watt bulb (if we're lucky) amidst a sea of 100 watt ones. Dealing with this type of person day in and day out puts a strain on us, and, whenever we get the chance to, we scurry out of cubicles, put the dialer on idle, and look for something interesting.

Case in point . . . today . . . special ocassion . . . free food. My waistline's most feared enemy (and yes, I worry about it, don't have to be a woman to do so . . punk). But, ofcourse, this doesn't stop me as I decend on the catered spread like a hawk that's spotted a field mouse . . a field mouse that tastes and looks like pasta salad, mini-sandwhiches, pound cake, and chocolate chip cookies. Who could resist that. and it's free. I'd have to be a communist to alert my coworkers about this before i hit up the boutiful cache of foodstuffs (i did, don't worry . . . not before i walked away w/half a dozen cookies, sandwhiches, and salad). Oh please, don't judge me. There was plenty of food there for them. Even enough for the "do-gooders" who had lofty intentions to whisk away this cornucopia of calories to the nearest freeway overpass and distribute it to the homeless (who . . by the way . . I have seen talking on cellphones and drinking Steel Reserve, so I'm not all that convinced that they're actually homeless, but rather just really lazy and unwashed people who are looking for a free handout . . . ha).

So, thank you company top brass. Your little exercise in finding a way to fatten up your paychecks has provided me with a late lunch and my significant other with an adequate dinner. If only I didn't hold you with so much contempt, I'd think about hugging the collective you . . but since i do . . . don't mind me while I figuritively piss on your faces.