Full Contact Sleeping

I don't know if sleeping has ever been more of an adventure for me. I share a bed with my wife (no 50's-style separate twin beds for us). Now, you might be expecting this to be a sex-filled post, since I am sure you noticed the words "full" and "contact" in the title. That's not what I'm going to discuss today (you can start breathing again honey). No, the full contact I'm talking about is the repeated beatings I endure from this shared sleeping arrangement.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I go to sleep, I'm not fully decked out in protective gear (although, I should start thinking about it). So, I'm pretty vulnerable. Added to the vulnerability is that 99% of the time that I spend in deep slumber, my eyes are closed. So I can't see anything coming my way. This is why I am always surprised when at 3 A.M. I get woken up by a fist to the groin, a slap to the face, an elbow to the spine, or . . . my all time favorite: the elbow to the eye-socket.

This abuse is compounded (ha, that word's got "pounded" in it, how appropriate) by the fact that my wife is on some sort of Manifest Destiny edict as she is always trying to get to my side of the bed from hers. This, of course, means that I am in her way, and she will stop at nothing to get to where she subconciously wants to be. She doesn't always knock me out of bed though. She is gracious enough to leave me a sliver of real estate on the mattress that's almost enough for someone of my stature to be comfortable in. She's such a sweetheart. :)

Anyway, why do I put up with this? Well, I love her, and love makes you do crazy things at times. Like getting your balls crushed by an errant knee and then looking at the culprit, who's sleeping peacefully next to you, and instantly putting the pain aside 'cause she looks so damn pretty when she's asleep. Like a kickboxing angel I tell you.