NASCAR

You know, i don't get this NASCAR thing at all. I'm all for racing, I've played a wide range of racing games on my X-Box . . . so that naturally makes me an expert; but this NASCAR thing baffles me. The track is one big oval . . or rounded edged-rectangle. The geometrical shape name escapes me at this point in time, but the important thing is that there are only 4 turns in the race. The hop into their brightly colored cars, slapped with endorsements (my personal favorite . . the Viagra-mobile) and do 500 laps on these race tracks. Is it an endurance thing? Do these guys make a ton of money? And if so, couldn't they afford a decent haircut and moustache trim? The mullet, as cool as it is, was not intended for just anyone. You have to have a certain swagger about you, a je ne sais quoi if you will. Most of these guys lack that. But what they do have is a ton of Coca-Cola money, as everytime i go watch a movie at the local AMC, I am reminded about the existance of this pseudo-sport.

Stranger even, are the people that pack the stands at these events. The countless mass of NASCAR fans that make it a day to go to the track to watch the dead guy's son race his daddy's car . . or something like that. Or, if they're fans of the Moustached One, then they watch that guy. So there they are, in the blistering heat, wearing their visors and blue-blocker sunglasses, tossing back beers, and watching these cars go round and round (much like this blog post, irony is everywhere) and round, yet i can't discern where they are getting their satisfaction from. It can't be taken seriously really. I mean, Days of Thunder was the last Hollywood movie to come out about the thing. What do NASCAR fans have to look forward to? Herbie Fully Loaded? *shakes head*

Maybe I'm not white enough (probably due to the fact that I'm not white to begin with) to understand this. It'll be a mystery then. Like polka and pickled herring. Maybe it's the crashes. Man's inherent need to be there to witness a disaster of some sort. I just hope that, when the next big time NASCAR crash happens, that the car is catapulted into the audience. That's worth watching. I'd sit through 397 laps of that boring crap just to see that. If it happens during lap 397-500 . . do me a favor, TiVo it for me.