BuMu Defined

I don't know (or care really) if this term has already been coined by someone else, but I'm claiming it as my own. What is BuMu you say? The Sal offered an interesting guess. Bukkake Under Moving Umbrellas. Interesting The Sal. I will have to keep my umbrella away from you. He is, as usual, wrong. BuMu is actually short for Butt Mucus.

"Ew, like, what's butt mucus?" says the valley girl in the backrow. Well, it's the end result of diarreah. Most people think that this gastro-intestinal condition only leads to sloppy shit. The kind that burns your brown-eye on the way out. This is partly correct. The thing is, what happens when you don't have any left? When you're shit out of . . . shit? This is when a clear substance starts pouring out of your ass. People who have experienced explosive diarreah will know what I'm talking about. For the four other people out there . . well, consider yourselves lucky.

Next time you purchase a burrito from a roach-coach, think real and hard about how well it was prepared. Most of those places don't have the handy dandy grading system that most reputable eating establishments have. Yes, the food might be great (usually is), but it might also lead to BuMu. Which, in itself is humorous, if you're not the one going through the BuMu experience.

I think I'm going to start a line of clothing. Kinda like FuBu, but with a fancy BuMu logo on it. Nothing pretentious, just clothes that fit like they're actually supposed to. It can be a counter-hip-hop movement. The thing is, the whole line would be the same color. A little off-white. Think about it. I need investors. Call me.