It seems that everyone in Hollywood wants a piece of the now divorced (or is still in progress, who cares) Jessica Simpson. I've read a couple of reports lately. The first one involves Zach Braff, who just recently broke up with Mandy Moore. He was spotted over at a club called Hyde on the 8th of June consuming copious amounts of alcohol and trying to "get with" Simpson. The next incident involves Jared Leto (who is not gay as a goat . . . don't believe everything you see on AOL) who met up with Jessica at Hyde (I'm starting to see a trend here) on the 2nd of June and managed to get her number. A few days later, they met up at Double Seven, and most likely spent the night banging away. Jessica probably thought they were playing Doctor or something, since Leto probably told her to open wide for his meat thermometer. So, why is everyone trying to fuck Jessica Simpson? Maybe because she's so dumb that you can tell her that you're part of the FBI, which stands for Female Body Inspectors.
Any man - "It's a government thing Ms. Simpson. We need to inspect your body, including all cavities".
Jessica Simpson - "Well, gee gosh willikers Mr. FBI, do what you gotta do."
It must be that easy.
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