Opening This Weekend - Crap

Wide Releases - (The Whores of Cinema)

The Fast and the Furious: Tokio Drift - Did the world really need a third F&F movie? I mean, just look at the adverstising campaign they went with a couple of posts below this one. It totally ignores the movie and just throws hoochies on top of the cars featured on the movie. So, what is this about? Something about cars in Japan, and . . . um . . . racing? Oh, and apparently Tokio is drifting . . . where? Who knows.

Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties - In more shocking sequel news, who greenlit a 2nd Garfield movie??! The first one was barely watchable. Actually, it was un-watchable. Yet I did, and I have carried the mental and emotional scars ever since. This movie takes Garfield to England . . . and I just hope he gets stuck there for ever and contracts the "Flesh Eating" virus disease.

The Lake House - Let me get this straight . . . A magic mailbox sends correspondance through time from Sandra Bullock to Keanu Reeves? They fall in love even though they are living 2 years apart? This didn't make test audiences break out into homicidal rages? Sandra Bullock is still making movies? Whoa.

Nacho Libre - I like Jack Black. I don't like Jack Black in movies. Sure, he was pretty cool in that record store movie with John Cusack, but that's 'cause he played a small part. Just look at Envy, or that Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit movie. Those were terrible! But, I have actually already seen Nacho Libre, and it is pretty much the first movie in a long time that I liked despite Jack Black's leading man role. So, this is what I recommend this weekend. Unless you're a rice-rocket loving, pussy stroking, magic mailbox believing douche-bag. Then you have many choices.

Limited Releases - (Synopsi pilferred from Yahoo! Movies)

Loverboy - An unsound mother (Kyra Sedgwick) shelters her only child from the outside world. Directed by Kevin Bacon.

The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green - A 26 year-old professional 'assistant' looking for love in all the wrong places. Based on the underground comic strip.

Only Human - A young Jewish woman brings her fiancé home to meet her idiosyncratic family who is unaware that he's Palestinian.

Wordplay - A documentary about puzzle guru Will Shortz and the culture of crossword fanatics. Featuring Bill Clinton and Jon Stewart.