Veterinary Blues

My dog is looking extra depressed these days. If you've seen Basset Hounds, then you know they already look sad all the time, but the Squishster just has had a rough week. On Tuesday, Heather noticed that there was some blood in his urine. Naturally, this scared the beJeebus out of us and we rushed him to the vet. He got a full check up and immunizations, which he was overdue for anyway.

Then, they started examining him. The first part is, taking the temperature of the pooch. They don't go through the mouth at the vets office. Everything seems to be done via poop-chute. Yes, he got the rectal thermometer, and we had to hold him down as he looked around, confused and noticeably displeased. After that, the vet came around, took a look at his puppy-wanger, and then manually whipped out Squishy's magic marker. Then, she checked out his prostate. Yes, that's a "through the butthole" procedure as well. Poor dog. He did not enjoy that either.

They didn't find any blood on him then, but they took a urine sample and prescribed some anti-biotics, just in case it's a bladder infection. The next day, when I called to inquire about the test results, the vet asked me to bring the dog in for a 2nd visit. He thought maybe a foxtail had gotten stuck inside his penis sleeve . . . I don't know the medical term for that.

So, I took him back to the vet yesterday afternoon, and we waited around for 45 minutes to be seen. When we did, they checked out his penis, this time digging in all the way down to whatever is at the end of his puppy-penis-sheath. They didn't see or feel anything that should not be there, and (I think) just for shits and giggles, the vet checked Squishy's prostate again. She told me that it felt normal, as she pulled the shit-stained glove of off her hand.

That was good news. Now, all he has to do is go through the anti-biotic regimen, and he should be all good in a couple of days. I haven't noticed any more blood in his urine, although, I admittedly don't pay too much attention to his pee or penis. This whole thing did cose me close to $200. That was just the first visit. The vet was gracious enough not to charge me for the 2nd visit. They did mention x-rays, which would have run me an extra $100, but she didn't think it was absolutely necessary.

I tell you, sometimes it sucks being a dog. Sure, you get to sleep, eat and shit and maybe chase a ball around all day long. But when you get sick, everything is through the asshole. That's a type of healthcare procedure I don't care much for. I just hope I never get re-incarnated as a dog.