Well, not hate, but I just hope his dick rots off and he never gets to use it on Natalie Portman, which is who he is dating now. Yeah, popular movie star, he can have any woman in the world (and Kirsten Dunst . . . what was up with that?), yet he picks up BAFW's favorite compulsive liar/epileptic. OK, maybe that was just a character that she played in a movie, but it's real enough for me, so don't tell me to stop re-enacting scenes from "Garden State" with my goose-down pillow. Anyway, here they are, on a date. Jake got her flowers (can you say cliche . . .or chiclet), tulips . . . which I'm only guessing led to the "I can tell you where to plant those two-lips" joke. That one always works, in my head. Along with the yawn-reach-around at the movie theater. Because that's how I roll, you hear that Natalie Portman. I'll tell you where to plant those two-lips after I do the yawn-reach-around. By the way, it's going to have to be a matinee, and I hope you still have your Harvard student ID, I'm a little strapped for cash. Advertising revenues are dropping. Don't tell me you'll pay, I'm a gentleman. Think about that while you're dating Jake Gyllen-whore.
3 comments:
I would take a mere singular lip from JG... and I'd like it.
Why is she wearing that stupid-ass sweater? Even *I* have better sense than that! D'ya hear that, Jake?! I have better sense! And I'd pay my way! LOVE ME, JAKE!!! Oh, ahem. Sorry.
don't talk shit about Natalie Portman . . . just because Gyllenhaal wouldn't give you the time of day.
Lol. Yeah, well...so?
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