Subpar Opening Weekend

I'm anxiously awaiting next weekend. Hell, I've been waiting for Superman Returns for a heck of a long time, but it's so close I can taste it . . . but not in a gay way. I know there's a lot of rumors out there that Bryan Singer gayed up the Man of Steel, but I'm not buying it. Come on, this is the director that elevated the X-Men to cinematic heights previously not even dreamt of. I trust him. So, what will you be spending your 10 bucks on this weekend? If you're like me, then definately none of these movies. Let's review.

Wide Release

Click - Adam Sandler controls the universe with a . . . universal remote control he got from Bed, Bath & Beyond. The only thing I ever get from that store is boredom. Nothing but. And it is in high likelyhood that you will get nothing but boredom from watching this movie, unless you just got out of your ice-pick labotomy session. If that's the case, then you're going to love this movie and laugh 'til your eye pops out. Good times.

Waist Deep - Tyrese and a black chick try to get money to get his son back from a "gangsta". The twist is (I think) that he's just gotten out of jail for his 2nd strike . . . and if he gets caught up in anything illegal, his son will grow up in foster homes. So yes, this is the feel good romantic family comedy of the year. Or, maybe it's just another vehicle to release a rap song. I don't know. I'm quite uninterested in this. There doesn't seem to be any "faith" hand-bumping so I could care less what happens here.

Limited Releases - (As always, synopsi graciously stolen from Yahoo! Movies)

The Great New Wonderful - Five interconnected stories explore life in New York City after 9/11. With Maggie Gyllenhaal and Edie Falco.

The Hidden Blade - A low-ranking Samurai in 19th century Japan rescues a woman from a loveless marriage and is ordered to kill his friend.

Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man - A documentary about the life and career of singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen with live performances of his classics.

The Road to Guantanamo - A dramatized documentary about three British muslims who were wrongfully arrested and imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay.

Say Uncle - After his godson moves away, a young artist goes to comical lengths to be an uncle-figure to local children.

Two Drifters - A heartbroken gay man and an unstable young woman band together to share in a dangerous fantasy life.

Wassup Rockers - Director Larry Clark looks at a group of teens from South Central L.A. who prefer skateboarding and punk to hip-hop culture. (Let me chime in on this one . . . this is by the same twisted fuck that brought us "Kids". So, you just know there will be some disturbing shit. I'm predicting that EVERYONE gets AIDS in this one)