Note to Douchebag

Dear Douchebag,

As you started blasting System of a Down in the stall next to me in the company bathroom, I could not help but think that you had made a shitty, yet utterly appropiate , music selection for the shitter. Even though I am in the school of thought that the only sonorous cacophany should be gasseous in nature when in the shitter, you have wowed me with your profience at being too cool for life. Why don't you commit suicide already. Make sure you're buried with that PDA/MP3 player you think is such hot shit, so that you can enjoy the loud and terribly obnoxious music you like to listen to . . . even in the afterlife.

Sincerely,

Me.