Inside Box Office Man

1. Inside Man - The newest Spike Lee Joint does pretty well for itself. Spike's movies, while being praised by critics (which sounds somewhat oxymoronic) don't usually top charts . . . but the inclusion of Clive Owen and Denzel Washington hooked people into coming to watch this. Oh yeah, Jodie Foster is in this again . . . presumably, still looking for her missing daughter.

2. V for Vendetta - Nothing good lasts forever, which is why this great movie is coming up second this week. Not even the promise of Natalie Portman in a schoolgirl outfit can keep this afloat for much longer. No problem though, the first filmed adaptation that Alan Moore has not despised has made some pretty good money, I expect it to win back it's budget, plus a little extra scratch, that will ensure future comic book movie adaptations.

3. Stay Alive - A killer videogame movie? No, not Halo yet, but one that stars twenty-somethings getting hacked, sliced, diced, hung, and otherwise scared to death by a "forbidden" videogame. I think the game is called Daikatana . . . . haha, get it? No? Oh man, I'm the biggest nerd ever.

4. Failure to Launch - I don't know what to say about this movie other that if you saw this . . . shame on you. This is tantamount to molesting little children. Nobody should have seen this movie. I don't even know what it's about and I don't want to watch it.

5. The Shaggy Dog - This Tim Allen remake of a "classic" man-turns-into-dog story baffles me. Sure, the kids might have enjoyed the sight of a man turning into a dog, but Tim Allen? Maybe if the kids were card-carrying members of the NRA and wanted something for target practice.

6. She's the Man - Another Hollywood personality some people might want to use for target practice . . . but not with lead but with something else (if you know what I mean, perverts) . . . Amanda Bynes's teen-comedy remake of a Shakesperean tale continues to dupe young, impressionable youngsters into spending their not-so-hard earned allowances to further her star status.

7. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector - What was poised to become the biggest blockbuster of the year . . . fizzled out with only 7 million. Nothing to scoff at though, it's 7 million more than I have in my bank account right now. But it just begs the question: Was there some big NASCAR race this weekend?

8. The Hills Have Eyes - Saw it on Thursday, loved it, want to own it when it comes out on DVD. This movie is not as tough as Hostel was with the gore, but it's up there. Go watch it, and then rent the original. This is a solid remake, largely in due to the total abscence of Tim Allen.

9. Eight Below - I don't get how this Paul Walker movie is making more than the crime-drama Paul Walker movie that has been gone from the countdown for a couple of weeks now. I don't even remember the name of that one, but the critics liked it more, and I almost thought about watching it. Almost. I can't see Paul Walker movies in anything other than an IMAX theater . . . you know, to accomodate his huge head.

10.16 Blocks - Almost went to see this on Thursday instead of the Hills Have Eyes, but, since I had a pretty shitty afternoon, the wife (who is lobbying for a viewing of this) conceeded to go watch a scary movie with my sister and I. I get three scary movies per year, and that was a good choice for #1. Oh, and 16 Blocks? Um . . . go watch it while you can.