B for Box Office

1. V for Vendetta - Watched this great movie over the weekend after attending the Wizard World LA con. Perfect way to cap off the nerd fest, and a movie that my wife actually wanted to watch for once. She didn't know it was a comic book movie until afterwards. The action was solid, the political allegories timely (even though it was first published 25 years ago) and Natalie Portman bald was strangely appealing. Solid movie, it's just a shame it only rustled up 26+ million. It's a blessing that it de-throned Failure to Launch though. That shit needs to get off the top ten list quick.

2. Failure to Launch - Speak of the devil, the McConeghey/Parker romantic comedy about a guy living with his parents well into his thirties and the woman that forces him to get out on his own is making pretty solid bank . . . much to my movie-loving chagrin. I don't get it. America made this the top movie in the box office last week, and it's still holding strong. What is wrong with you people. Oh well, at least Tim Allen's not in this one.

3. The Shaggy Dog - But he IS in this movie, which baffles the mind. This remake of an old Disney "classic" about a lawyer that turns into a dog . . . that solves some sort of crime in a court of law . . . what?? This story didn't work when it came out the first time around, why would they think that it would work now. But, surprisingly enough, it beat out a horror movie last week and this week as well, which just goes to show you . . . parents will take their kids anywhere so long as it provides them with 2 hours of silence from their bratty tykes.

4. She's the Man - Amanda Bynes as a boy in an unofficial remake of a much better 80's movie "Just one of the Guys" which previously had the balls to show titties. Where are the Bynes-funbags?? Sure, you've got David Cross in your movie, he's always fun, but no juggs? This movie is just disgusting.

5. The Hills Have Eyes - This movie should have taken the #1 spot last week. It didn't. It still fails to make the money it truly deservers. Maybe it should have been released in October, where people are seeking movies like this to entertaing their morbid curiousity with death and atomically deformed killers. I still want to see this, and by the looks of it, I won't have much trouble securing "killer" seats when I eventually make it to the cineplex.

6. 16 Blocks - Bruce Willis and Mos Def playing cops and robbers with a twist that has been used before. Sure, it's re-hashed, but it has to be better than most of the crap that's out right now. I know my wife wants to see it, since she has an unnatural love for Mos "Dante" Def. I might enteratain her desire to see this . . . but maybe on DVD.

7. Eight Below - This dog of a movie has performed better than I thought it would. Sure, it's trying to capitalize on an icey locale a la "March of the Penguins", but it substitutes penguins with dogs and Paul Walker. Same survival type of story, nothing new here.

8. Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion - Black men in drag must be hilarious. I don't get it. People have "gotten" it though, pole-vaulting this turd into the 60+ million range in total box office gross. You know what this means right? Tyler Perry's Madea's Fighting to get Better Health Care Benefits will be coming to a theater near you. Be afraid, be very afraid.

9. The Pink Panther - I'm glad to see this crap-tacular movie making its swan song on the countdown. It really just looked fetid and sloppy . . . and casting Beyonce Knowles in a movie is just a recipe for bad. Unless it's a black porno movie . . . like Big Booties 7: In Deep. But, that's just my personal opinion.

10.Aquamarine - Isn't M. Night Shyamalan coming out with a similar movie in a few months? Well, the tween-set get their own aquatic girl movie. I don't have much to say about this movie, although . . . I have a friend that was probably there to see it. I don't know, he moved to Arizona, but he always liked the teenage starlets . . and that JoJo girl is in this movie. Questionable . . . maybe. Lock up your daughters Arizona.