Gwen Stefani Bikini Pics

Because it's been a rather slow week, and you deserve to see at least something, I'm posting a couple of Gwen Stefani bikini pictures that were taken in Hawaii a couple of days ago. She looks pretty hot for someone who just had a baby recently. Maybe she was wearing at the time one of those fake-prop preggo bellies, and her kid was conceived and raised in a test tube. Like a clone or something. Someone check that baby for a belly button. Everyone knows clones don't have them. In any case, here she is, walking around with her husband, Gavin Rossdale. Yeah, the guy from "Bush". Come to think about it, this marriage is made up of two front-people for bands from the 90's that were huge, but are no longer still around. Living off the royalties and Gwen's new crap-tacular music I guess. More power to them.

Jessica Alba . . . Perfect?

While I can agree that Jessica Alba is one good looking broad, I'd hardly agree that she is the epitome of womanhood. Yes, she is sexy. Yes, she has a nice body, but something within the equations that these Cambridge mathematicians is not adding up (hehe, did you get that subtle math humor?).

The academics found that it is the ratio between hips and waist that puts the sway into a woman's walk - and the nearer that ratio is to 0.7, the better. This ratio provides the body with the right torso strength to produce a more angular swing and bounce to the hips during the walking motion. Therefore, a woman with a 25in waist and 36in hips would have just the right proportions to carry off a sexy swagger as she walks. The Jessica Alba sashay beat off competition from Kate Moss, Angelina Jolie and even Marilyn Monroe, whose walk along a railway platform in Some Like It Hot is one of the most famous in film history.While Monroe was a fraction off the target ratio with 0.69, the Cambridge team said that Alba had the perfect proportions.

Oh, and just for the hell of it, there's a picture of a Jessica Alba wardrobe malfunction. Why not, right?

EDIT: The nipple is back. Photobucket.com pulled it down earlier today. Just what do they have against nipples?! Are they anti-hot-boobs? That's just ludicrous.

Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem Trailer (For Adults)

I had read somewhere that there was a script for this movie out and about in pre-production some time ago. But, sice the first AVP movie was total ass (thanks Paul W.S. Anderson), I somewhat forgot about it, until a couple of days ago when I saw this. Now, for once, I am actually looking forward to seeing this movie. The trailer has everything you need to hook you in. Plenty of people die, heads explode, bodies are cut in half, and Alien blood totally melts off some guy's face. Awesome. Not a whole lot of big names in this one, but who cares. Since I watch a ton of TV, I did recognize one of the guys from "Rescue Me" (he plays the Shawn Garrity character) and a kid who plays the young version of the fake psychic detective on USA's "Psych" TV show. Other than that, it appears to be a bunch of nobodies, which is fine, since the majority of them won't be making it to the credits. Enjoy the trailer, and check out this movie this Christmas.

Wow . . . Really?

Oh my . . . it's worse than I thought. And was that Mario Lopez holding the microphone. Damn, AC Slater is doing stupid beauty pageants while Zack Morris is doing HBO dramas. Who's the coolest kid in Bayside High now sucka! But seriously . . . someone take this bitch out back and shoot her. Put America out of its misery. I bet you SAT scores jump 100 points nationwide once she's gone.

Musically Inclined Mondays - TV On The Radio

Holy shit. How much do I love TV On The Radio? Enough to bold their motherfucking name. This band will rock your shit. These three tracks I've uploaded for your downloading pleasure should give you a general feel for the band, but it's not enough. You have to hunt this band down. Get all their shit. I'm not fucking around either. Just look at all the expletives I've used so far to write about them. This is serious motherfucking shit. Get a little fucking rock & roll culture in you. Fuck whatever is playing in your MP3 player or car stereo.

Disclaimer - Band is not actually made out of Lego's, it's just the coolest picture I could find of them.

TV On The Radio - Staring at the Sun
TV On The Radio - Wolf Like Me
TV On The Radio - Robots

New Britney Spears Single = Hot Steamy Shit EDITED and MP3'd

Ugh . . . I can't believe I'm linking a page from PerezHilton.com. But, this is legitimate news. Britney's new single is out, and it must be heard. Not because it's great. I think it might be the single most atrocious song ever produced. Even worse than "PoPoZao". Everything is terrible. From the lullaby'ish feel of the song, to the spoken words. Is she fucking serious? I'll post the lyrics, but you can head over to the actual site and click on the audio player at the bottom of the post, if you're into seeing car-wrecks as they happen. Because this is what this single is. A musical car-wreck.

Everyday, I’m in a daze
Looking for that someone
And everyday, I sit and kneel and pray
Oh, sweet love, can I get some?
So why do you desert me, baby boy?
I need your love right now!
And if you desert me, baby boy
Don’t you leave me in your crowd

Talking
Hey baby, what time you gonna get home?
Oh, really?
[Sigh]
Alright, well, I’ll see you later, then
Oh, wait
Would you mind getting some…
Yeah, when you come home
Yeah, that’s it
I love you too
Bye

[Singing again]
Some day when you see my face
You will think that you have won
And some day when it’s all away
Our love just begun
So why did you desert me, baby boy?
I thought that you, you were the one
So if you preferred the other one
She won’t bring you the sun(son)


EDIT: Since the PerezHilton.com player is busted, or was busted when I tried to subject my wife to this slow-paced torture, I've secured an MP3 of this delightfully terrible track for your listening dis-enjoyment.

Britney Spears - Baby Boy

Dragon Wars - Where did this come from??

On September 14th, 2007, a movie will be released titled "Dragon Wars", or D-War for short. Was I under a rock somewhere for the past couple of months and I didn't notice this? This is coming straight out of left field. The trailer looks fantastic, and while I don't see any A-list celebrities, I did see someone from "The Office" in it (the warehouse foreman) and a couple of other minor celebs. But who cares, the dragons look great. Check it out yourself here. You know I'll be dragging my wife to go see this.

Friday Special - Jenny McCarthy Camel-toe

You know, I remember a time when I thought Jenny McCarthy was just hot as can be. For a while there, she went through a bit of a fugly period, but I'm glad to see the old Jenny McCarthy coming back. She's looking pretty good in a bikini in these pictures, and that camel-toe she's got on display is actually helping her looks. Methinks someone will be having a bit of a acting renaissance if they keep this up. Hopefully, it won't be like John Travolta's from the late '90's. He showed great promise when "Pulp Fiction" was released. Then, Scientology fucked him up. So, moral of the story. More camel-toe, less pseudo-religious quackery.

Idle Hands get Daft Punk'd

This is what happens when you have too much time and an unnatural love for Daft Punk. I like the band and all, but I don't see myself coming up with this in a million years. Even if I ate/breathed/lived Daft Punk, I still would not have thought about doing this. The execution is splendid though. One take, no edits, all hands. It does get a little blurry towards the end, but that can be excused.

Dick Cheney Uses Logic in 1994

Dick Cheney is seen here, in 1994, saying that invading Iraq would be a terrible idea. I wonder if he just forgot about what he said and his logic was overcome by the exclusive war contracts his company, Haliburton, got when we eventually invaded and occupied Iraq. I like 1994 Dick Cheney by the way. He seems clear minded and level headed. 2007 Dick Cheney would shoot you in the face with a shotgun for just thinking that sending wave after wave of young American soldiers to die in Iraq might not be the best idea ever.

Hayden Panettiere now Legal

The day is upon us. Hayden Panettiere is now of legal age, and therefore it is OK (finally!) to masturbate to her pictures. Well, maybe not the ones that were taken before this week, but you get the idea. Hayden celebrated her 18th birthday the way teenagers should . . . registering to vote?! Umm . . . maybe it's because I wasn't even a resident of this country when I turned 18, but that's not how I would have pictured my 18th birthday party. Knee-deep in pussy is what I would have wanted, but I was in a new town at the time, so that didn't happen. But enough about me. Oh, and check out the old guy that is totally feeling up Hayden in the picture below. He must have been waiting ages to get a little piece of Panettiere-action. Like, since "Racing Stripes".

Jenna Jameson a Little Early for Halloween

Either Jenna Jameson became the experiment of a psychotic plastic surgeon with Dr. Moreau tendencies, or she is really committing to becoming a duck for Halloween. It could be the latter, but I've never seen anyone commit to a costume so much that they'd go under the knife for it. Once, when I was in elementary school, my Halloween costume was "Army Guy", and I lobbied my father to get me an AK-47 . . . just to take with me. For authenticity. It wouldn't have been loaded, and the bayonet attachment would not have been taken in. Thankfully, they just got me a plastic M-16 that made noise when you pulled the trigger. That's about as much as I've ever been into getting the most authentic Halloween costume. Maybe this is her way for lobbying for an AK-47. I don't know. She just looks bizarre now. I used to masturbate to this woman. Now, my penis shrinks away in fear.

In other old pornstar news, Jenna Jameson somehow got Scarlett Johannson to play her in her bio-pic. I hope they get the guys from ILM to do her latter-years look. Or whomever Eddie Murphy uses to turn himself into fat black men/women.

Kristen Bell Joins "Heroes" Cast

Kristen Bell, formerly of the now defunct UPN/CW television show "Veronica Mars", will be joining the cast of NBC's "Heroes" this fall, and will be in at least 13 episodes. She will have a superpower, and will compete with the barely legal Hayden Panettiere as far as who's hotter in the show. That won't be a storyline in the show, just a competition that happens in my head. The events in this competition? Well, here's a little list that I'm currently working on:

-Whipped Cream Bikini application
-Running down a sandy beach in an ill-put-together bikini
-Cherry stem-tying with tongue
-Nude jumping jacks
-Jello/Mud/oil wrestling

Sure, this will only happen in my head, but with the right amount of imagination, you can also have a spank-fest of ginormous proportions. One more picture of Kristen Bell, in a bikini, for no apparent reason.

Sienne Miller Topless

I know, if you're anything like me, then you're saying to yourself "What? Again? I wish I could go through one day without seeing her semi-nude". It's the truth though. Apart from being Jude Law's ex-girlfriend and being in a couple of movies no one has seen, Sienna Miller spends her days making sure the paparazzi see her without clothes, or wearing underwear out in public like she's some sort of super-hero whore. I mean, common, enough is enough. I think she's in some sort of "shock and awe" campaign to woo the American movie audience . . . with nudity. Not in films. So, um . . maybe it's not the American movie audience that she's looking for. Maybe she wants the pervert demographic.

Whatever it is, enjoy the picture before Photobucket decides to take it down. They're such prudes about things like this.

Musically Inclined Mondays - Junior Senior

How can I properly describe the duo known as "Junior Senior" without sounding like my nose is right up their asses? Ah, fuck it. I love this band. They make music that makes even me, a stalwart non-dancer, shake my "groove thang", to quote the popular youth vernacular. Sure, it might sound a little cheesy from time to time, but it's quality dance music which would be at home at any party or kick-back you're hosting. Your guests will ask you who this is, and those in the know will knowingly nod at you, further cementing your coolness. No need to pay me back for making you the coolest kid on the block. Just keep reading the blog and buy some shit from my sponsors.

Junior Senior - Can I Get Get Get
Junior Senior - Move Your Feet

Opening Weekend Movies - 8/17/07

Invasion - This, I'm pretty sure but I haven't checked yet, is a remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". It stars Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig, and while it looks somewht interesting, I'm not hearing great things about it. It might do well in theaters this weekend, but I'm thinking another movie will be stealing it's invasioning thunder.

The Last Legion - I haven't really heard much about this movie other than it's about a young Roman emperor who embarks on a perilous journey to find the last legion who is loyal to the empire. And that's just what I read at the Yahoo! movies page. It could be interesting, but again, it's going to be eclipsed by something else that's opening this weekend . . . and no, it's not going to be "Invasion"

Superbad - This is the movie to watch this weekend. It's an R-rated teen comedy with plenty of swearing and adult situations, which is just what this summer movie season needs. Plus, Michael Cera is hilarious. I've been wanting to see him in a movie for quite sometime after "Arrested Development" was yanked off the air by FOX (those bastards!). This is what my wife and I are watching this weekend, hopefully not with a movie crowd that constitutes the lowest common denominator of the movie-going public . . . much like the crowd we watched the "Simpsons Movie" with a couple of weeks back. Nothing ruins a movie more than a bunch of morons that think they can talk throughout the whole screening. Fuck I hate people.

"I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With" Trailer

My wife and I are big time cheese afficionados. Wether it's gouda, camembert, cheddar (the sharper the better) or muenster, we love it all. Which is why, this movie that only has one reference to cheese, will most likely put our butts in the theater. Sure, it's also supposed to be pretty funny, and it has Sarah Silverman, but really . . . we're going for the cheese. Delicious, lactose-treat of the gods.

Anne Hathaway - Best Yacht Passenger Ever

Most of the time, when people find themselves on yachts, they spend their time lounging around, working on their tans, and generally not giving the world anything worthwhile. Anne Hathaway is not like that. And I'm sure she should become a role model for all women everywhere. When you're in a yacht, and you're wearing a hot retro-looking bikini . . . why not blow a guy? Do you know just how much that would help the world . . . or just yacht owners? Whatever the case may be, Anne Hathaway is sure as hell shedding her "Princess Diaries" image with risque (so Frenchy) movie roles and personal displays of affection that involve her mouth and a wanger. I say more power to her. The guy she's fellating though, surely doesn't deserve the attention. Look at that putz. He's on the phone?! Someone needs to prioritize.

One more picture of Anne Hathaway and that bikini, which is looking like it's painted on her. Why can't other Hollywood starlets have the same fashion sense that this chick has.

How'd I get on the Filipino Tabloids?

I'm seriously confused. I've been linked before in the past, but this one is just a little on the peculiar side. Sure, they send me a couple of hits with their linkage, but when they do, they refer to me as "Kuya Jaime", which if my experience hanging around a certain asian social networking website a few years back tells me anything, it's a term of endearment that means "Big Brother Jaime". Whatever it is, they're crediting me with finding Pink peeing pictures and Bai Ling "mutant nipol" pictures.



You can head on out to their website by using this link if you speak Tagalog. I know, I help broaden cultural horizons. Where's my Nobel Peace Prize? I'll settle for a discount coupon for spaghetti and fried chicken. The pinoys know what I'm talking about.

Carmen Electra in Bikini - Addendum

Yesterday I posted some Carmen Electra bikini pictures. Today, I'm following up on that topic, not because I am all that impressed by her in a bikini. No, rather, I'm posting this extra picture up because apparently . . . she hangs out with a giant, bikini-clad Amazon. Holy shit, look at that chick. She's huge, but not in a sex line operator way. Or, it could just be that she's normal sized and Carmen Electra is a borderline dwarf. I like the first theory better though. Someone should lock this giant broad up and study her. She might just be a hot, shaved Sasquatch. She could be the missing link . . . or a recent evolutionary leap in human development. I don't know. But we need to divert tax dollars pronto.

New Blog Additions

oIn an effort to keep things fresh around here, there are a couple of new additions that have been made within the last week or so to this blog. I don't know if you've noticed them, but this post should set that right.

Brown Turtle, fine purveyor of quality funny t-shirts has been added to the growing list of business I am affiliated with. You can either visit their website by finding their provocative banner advert on the side panel, or by clicking on the link below.



Also calling BAFW home these days is a widget from Buzzfeed, which channels content to this blog, just in case whatever you find here is outdated or . . . well, just plain boring. There's always something going on in that website, and BAFW had the "Sideboob Buzz" locked down until a couple of weeks ago. Nothing lasts forever though.



Via BuzzFeed

Feel free to use these new things . . . a lot. Specially if it's going to make me money. Cash money. I'm not rich biatch!

Carmen Electra in Bikini - Not Surprised

So far this summer, we've seen a ton of celebrities wearing their favorite bikinis. Some I'd wish they'd never found out about the two piece wonder bathing garment. Others I'd wish they were actually legal. But Carmen Electra is someone I was just thinking about why she hadn't been spotted in one of these as of yet. Until now. Electra never fails to disappoint when it comes to looking sexy. Sure, she's not as young as she used to. And canoodling with Dave Navarro probably left her soul tainted for life . . . but she still looks good in a bikini. And she looks good riding some d-bag's shoulders in a game of chicken-fight. That's not jealousy by the way. I'm just stating a fact.

These pictures were taken in Malibu, and I'm sure there are more, but just how many pictures do you need to stimulate a stiffening of the loins? Yeah, I was thinking three as well.

New Romero Zombie Flick - "Diary of the Dead"

George A. Romero is a zombie movie-making genius. I love it when he takes on the genre and blows my mind with it. His new movie concept, while sounding a bit on the . . . well . . . how can I put it without disparaging a personal hero of mine. OK, I'm just coming out and saying it . . . The idea is "Romero zombies + Blair Witch Project". Yeah, it's a bit iffy, but I have complete confidence in the execution. Here's a couple of pictures from the movie's MySpace page. I'm digging the zombie state trooper.

I'm such a fanboy sometimes.

Kate Hudson in Bikini

I enjoy looking at pictures of chicks in bikinis. But only if the chicks have developed past the point of puberty. Which is why, this Kate Hudson bikini picture is just not doing it for me. She's built like a 5 year old with a pituitary condition. I think scientists should study her. Maybe perform a dissection to see how this could have happened. It's all in the name of science Kate Hudson. Sacrifices need to be made. Plus, it's not like you're "acting" in anything worthwhile . . . right?

Debra Messing Sideboob

Debra Messing, who you know from the old "Will & Grace" TV show, and, if you watch cable, her new show "The Starter Wife", went shopping just a couple of days ago wearing the most ridiculous outfit I've ever seen anyone wear. She looks like a whorish version of the Hamburglar. Does she even own a mirror? And, to make matters worse (not sexy), she forgoes the whole "wearing a bra" thing. Which would work, if she had boobs that were worth showing off. And if she were hot. Or, even if she looked remotely like a human being. I think we should come to a general consensus that Debra Messing needs to go away. We might need to get the UN behind this, because it's not just an American issue. It's a global one.

Katharine McPhee Upskirt + Wedgie Pick

Maybe you should start recycling more, or not damaging the environment with your giant SUV's . . . because this upskirt does not come courtesy of Katharine McPhee being a big whore. No, this one is brought to you by nature, who I'm guessing is currently lobbying the pervert constituency to help stop it's deterioration (I didn't even know that was a word). See, it's a gust of wind that conveniently lifts McPhee's skirt to reveal the panties underneath. I don't know how she didn't notice that wearing a dress made out of the same materials they make parachutes out of would be a good idea, but her lack of fashion acumen is our gain.

Not only are we treated to that sight, but we also get to see the ex-American Idol contestant picking at a wedgie, during the whole wind inspired upskirt. It's like two for the price of one. Is it Christmas already? Enjoy the pictures.

Olivia Munn - Takes it All

Olivia Munn, the talented co-host of "Attack of the Show", shows off a new talent in this short video. A talent that makes me feel funny in the pants area. Is that supposed to be that hard? Anyway, there was a longer video of this, but these 26 seconds are the most important, and definitely titillating part of the whole video. Enjoy the slow motion part, and check out that gag-reflex control.

Goddamn . . . I'm so aroused. Where's my wife . . .



In a related video, but probably not from the same airing, Olivia explains her technique.

Britney Spears - Danger at Low Speeds

Britney Spears hit a parked car while parking her own at a Studio City vitamin store. I could say more about it, but the video clearly speaks for itself. Britney is more concerned with the damage to her car than she is concerned about doing the right thing. Which, would include, at least leaving a note for the owner of the car she banged into. I guess she was too busy trying to hold on to her new dog to realize that's what normal people would do. While inspecting the damage to her car, Britney, being the sexy beast that she is (*read into that with sarcasm) decided to give the paparazzi a view of her crotch. Because she's very giving, and devoted to her fan base . . . who want to see this? I don't think she's in touch with what people want to see from her. Which is nothing at all. I know, because I've run scientific case studies for this. In a lab coat as well . . . you know, to make it official.

X-Games gives X-Ouch of the Year

The best part of this clip is the beginning. Best. Slam. Ever. You get to see it again, in different angles (I loved his shoes flying off of him as he impacted), in slow motion. But the middle part is a bit of a let down. I mean . . . walk it off (he does . . . eventually) wuss.

Rebecca Gayheart Topless . . . butterface?

I haven't thought that Rebecca Gayheart has been hot for quite some time now. I think I might have had a hard on for this chick ten years ago, after she quit doing Noxema commercials or whatever and made a jump to television. I remember her from that show "Earth 2", which lasted for about 1 season. Since then, she's been in a ton of other shows, but never for long. Maybe it's a testament to how good she's at it, but lately, as she's been getting older, she's not maturing like a fine wine. More like a piece of pork that was left out in the summer sun. But, topless pictures are topless pictures (you like my logic?), so I'm posting these up. I guess the cans are looking OK, but some of the faces this chick makes while the pictures are being taken make her look like Butthead from the "Beavis and Butthead" show, but hot because of the naked funbags. It's a bit of a dilemma as to how you're going to jack-off to these pictures (I know you're going to . . . pervert), but I guess you could scroll just past the head, and concentrate on the neck down. You gotta do what you gotta do right?

Untitled JJ Abrams Movie gets "Furious" Poster

I am fairly intrigued by this new JJ Abrams project . . . which has something to do with a giant monster . . . thing . . . terrorizing New York. It could be Godzilla, or a cloud of black smoke (wouldn't "Lost" fans just flip out at that one). The working title of this movie is "Cloverfield" and while shooting in New York (pictures below) it's going by the name of "Cheese". Very secretive. I'm just hoping all the build up doesn't just fizzle out and we're subjected to crap. In the end, it could just be a giant, radioactive "Felicity", pissed off because she's not a big star anymore. Trailer after the pictures in case you haven't been to a movie theater in the past couple of weeks.

Deion Sanders - Still Alive and Defending Vick

Deion Sanders is still around? What? OK. I guess him being alive makes more sense than his re-animated corpse digging his way out of a grave and taking a time out from seeking fresh brains to defend a football player in need. But, something about his statement about Micheal Vick (recently found with a dog-fighting set up at his home, complete with a rape-stand for his "bitches") would make more sense if his brain had undergone some sort of decomposition.

Some people kiss their dogs on the mouth. Some people let their dogs eat from their plate. Some people dress their dogs in suits more expensive than mine, if you can believe that. And some people enjoy proving they have the biggest, toughest dog on the street. You’re probably not going to believe this, but I bet Vick loves the dogs that were the biggest and the baddest. Maybe, he identified with them in some way.

All of that is enough to make me cringe because I have three highly-trained protection German shepherds, just in case someone wants to rob my family. Believe me, you don’t want to deal with them. With one German command, our dog Yascho turns into Cujo. And for the record, I live around the corner from the police station, so it won’t take them long to show up and save you from the dogs.

I believe Vick had a passion for dogfighting. I know many athletes who share his passion. The allure is the intensity and the challenge of a dog fighting to the death. It’s like ultimate fighting, but the dog doesn’t tap out when he knows he can’t win.

It reminds me of when I wore a lot of jewelry back in the day because I always wanted to have the biggest chain or the biggest, baddest car. It gives you status.

Yeah . . . that makes total sense Deion Sanders. Thanks for clearing that up. I think it's safe to say that this Micheal Vick fellow is a model citizen.

Hayden Panettiere Bikini Romp

I'm a fan of the show "Heroes" on NBC. It was pretty much my favorite show that debuted in 2006. Which is why I post pictures of Hayden Panettiere in a bikini now. Not because I'm into 17 year olds in bikinis. No way. I'm just a devoted fan of quality NBC television programming. It's "appointment television". Right? Or is this "Comedy Night Done Right"? I don't even know. These pictures are melting my brain. And they're making me feel kind of dirty. Damn you people for making me put these pictures up. Yeah, it's all your fault. I take no responsibility for this. I've seen your search patterns. I know what you want. I'm just catering to your perverted needs. At least that's what I'm telling the jury.




OMG . . . she's running . . . Queue up the "Baywatch" theme music.