Iron Man 2 Trailer

Ummm . . . Holy shit. Can it be possible to make a better "Iron Man" movie? From the looks of the trailer above it's looking like a damn good possibility. Looks like everyone is back for some more iron-clad goodness (except for the guy replaced by Don Cheadle) and the new villian, Whiplash, played by Mickey Rourke comes off appropriately menacing and badass. Lots of cool moments in this trailer. Can't wait for 2010.

Edit: Oh, and I totally forgot to mention the jaw-dropping "War Machine" sequence in this trailer and the slight glimpse at Scarlett Johansson dressed up as Russian covert operative and S.H.I.E.L.D. agent "Black Widow". How could I forget.

Scarlett Johansson is Black Widow

"Iron Man 2" is gearing up for a 2010 release, but already a stream of hype has been funneling out to the media. I could have posted the picture of Iron Man and War Machine, back to back, but I think you'd much rather see the pictures of Scarlett Johansson, which will be playing Russian spy "Black Widow", low and close to the floor. In fact, if she spends the whole movie walking around on all fours, you won't hear any complaints from me. One more pic below. Check out the movie when it comes out. If it's even half as good as the first "Iron Man" movie, then it's gonna be better than most films this year.

Opening Weekend Movies - 2/29/2008

Semi-Pro - Is there any doubt in your mind that you won't be waking up to this movie Monday being the #1 movie in America? At least the #1 comedy in America. Everything Will Ferrell does lately just ends up being loved by the mass populace. To tell you the truth, while this movie looks like it could illicit a laugh or two from me, it's not enough to make me want to go see it. But I'll rent it when it comes out on DVD, kind of like "Blades of Glory", which I almost rented last weekend. Almost . . . I just couldn't get myself to rent an ice-skating movie. "The Cutting Edge"* just killed the whole sub-genre for me.



The Other Boleyn Girl - Period peaces bore me to tears. But this movie has Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson in it. I'm conflicted. Those are two of the hottest, screen-melting women on the planet. And they're stuck in this movie where they play sisters? Couldn't they be lesbian lovers? Only in a perfect world. Oh yeah, Eric Bana is in this as well. Did I mention that he cinematically beds both of them. Did I also mention that I know hate Eric Bana.



Penelope - Look at how ambiguous the Yahoo! movie page's description for this film is:

Christina Ricci is a woman suffering from a "curse" who sets out to free herself of a life-long bad luck streak and find her true self.

The "curse" is that she has a pig's snout for a nose. I think "Bubble Boy"** is a deeper movie than this. That was another movie about a voyage of self-discovery. But, I guess it could be argued that, even with a prosthetic pig nose, Christina Ricci is still hotter than Jake Gyllenhaal.



*When was the last time you heard of the movie "The Cutting Edge" . . . whoa, hello nostalgia.

**"Bubble Boy" rocks!!

The Other Boleyn Girl Trailer

While I'm not much into historical costume dramas, despite majoring in history, this one particular movie does pose the very important question. Which one would you bang . . . Natalie Portman or Scarlett Johansson. Eric Bana gets to make that choice, which if you were to ask me, is pretty much a win-win situation. Probably won't watch this movie, unless I hear talk of nudity. Which always piques my interest, specially if it involves either one of these famous Hollywood ladies.

Jenna Jameson a Little Early for Halloween

Either Jenna Jameson became the experiment of a psychotic plastic surgeon with Dr. Moreau tendencies, or she is really committing to becoming a duck for Halloween. It could be the latter, but I've never seen anyone commit to a costume so much that they'd go under the knife for it. Once, when I was in elementary school, my Halloween costume was "Army Guy", and I lobbied my father to get me an AK-47 . . . just to take with me. For authenticity. It wouldn't have been loaded, and the bayonet attachment would not have been taken in. Thankfully, they just got me a plastic M-16 that made noise when you pulled the trigger. That's about as much as I've ever been into getting the most authentic Halloween costume. Maybe this is her way for lobbying for an AK-47. I don't know. She just looks bizarre now. I used to masturbate to this woman. Now, my penis shrinks away in fear.

In other old pornstar news, Jenna Jameson somehow got Scarlett Johannson to play her in her bio-pic. I hope they get the guys from ILM to do her latter-years look. Or whomever Eddie Murphy uses to turn himself into fat black men/women.

Sideboob or Nip Slip? Johansson Edition

This could be a nip slip. I can barely make out a little something something through all of the blur present on this picture. What was the camera person using? A Polaroid camera wrapped in Saran Wrap? In any case, it is at the least a sideboob picture of Scarlett Johansson . . . and that's enough to post around here. You make your own decisions.

Jenna Jameson - High Hopes for Bio-pic

Jenna Jameson might be a little on the delusional side. I'm sure it's a case of "1 too many dicks up the pooper"-syndrome. It basically makes people think and say completely ludicrous things. It's great that someone wants to make a movie based on her best-selling book, "How To Make Love Like A Porn Star", but who she wants to play her in the movie might be a little bit off.

"We're looking at Scarlett. She's my choice. I think she's beautiful."

Of course she's beautiful. She's frickin' Scarlett Johanssen. There's no way they could get her for the part. First of all, look at what Jenna Jameson looks like. Pretty much beef-jerky with tits and a gaping asshole. Now, take a look at what Scarlett looks like.


Pretty much hotness personified. And that's not even a good picture of her. It doesn't show off her natural cans. Jenna, I think you need to ground your choice in a little bit of reality. There are plenty of actresses that can look good naked but have busted faces like yourself. Just look around you. You're bound to hit one with your latest co-star's 1-foot pole. And while I would relish in seeing Scarlett Johansson playing a porn star, it would be too much of a stretch for her to play you.

HDH - Scarlett Johansson

I'm pretty sure that Scarlett Johansson has been featured in the "Hump Day Hottie" posts in the past . . . but Jeebus-be-damned, she's never been photographed just wearing an unbuttoned sweater, short-shorts and knee-high socks. Wow. My eyes have boners right now. This comes from Allure magazine, which is truly living up to it's name and provides us with this alluring image. I don't remember exactly when Scarlett went from okay looking with a slightly deep voice, to hotter than the sun with . . . but I don't care. And those all-natural breasts. You can't beat that. The slight tug of gravity. Fake boobs just don't compare with the real thing. Thank you, from the bottom of BAFW's croth, Scarlett Johansson.

*Note - I prepped this post on Monday. You don't know how much I've been waiting for Wednesday to come around to make this post schedule appropriate. This is the first Wednesday in a while that I have looked forward to.