Travel-log (5302007-03:39)

It's Wednesday morning. Extremely Wednesday morning. I'm trying to shake off about 4 hours of sleep. Yesterday's 11 hour work day is still weighing me down. I think I broke a record yesterday, at least a personal one, when I took over 210 customer service calls in one day. I'll find out when I get back to work in a week. But now, we're on vacation. Why no sleeping in? We have a plane to catch.

Our flight leaves @ 7 AM today, but we need to get to the Burbank airport first, and my wife and I are having my mother chauffer us to the airport. She'll be here in just under an hour. We need to get there early to go through whatever check-in process and security checkpoints there are. It's only a domestic flight, but I haven't actually been on an airplane post 9/11, so I don't know what to expect. This should give us a wide enough berth that we won't miss our flight.

Otherwise, everything is going according to plan. Despite an overwhelming feeling that I am forgetting something, I'm doing OK. I'm sure that whatever is nagging at the back of my mind will finally become clear to me halfway to our destination. It'll be a very "Home Alone(ish)" moment. My wife is getting her decidedly larger suitcase together which has been in the process of packing for the past couple of days. I just hope nothing happens to these bags en route to Utah. I told her already to not put any valuables in them. We're taking those on our carry-on, which is just one messenger bag that is pretty much filled to the gills (if bags had gills) with our iPod Shuffles and digital camera.

Which reminds me . . . I need to empty the porn out of the USB drive so that there aren't any embarrasing moments downloaded into any of our family's computers while were there. That's what I was forgetting. I think. Let's just hope that's all. Got to take care of that. I'll continue travel-logging as possible.

BAFW on Vacation - AKA "Vacations are for Wusses"

Starting tomorrow, I will be gone for about 5 days while I enjoy time away from Los Angeles. It will be a sort of scientific voyage though, as I will spend those five days in the midst of Mormons. Yes, I am going to Utah, and will be in the Salt Lake City vicinity. It'll be kind of like Jane Goodall studying gorillas, but much whiter.

Why am I going to Utah of all places? Well, my wife's family is currently conglomerated in that state. Her oldest sister has been living there for quite some time with her husband and two kids. Her other not so older sister just moved there this past February after her husband got out of the Marines, and they're there with their two kids. My wife's younger brother, who lives with one of the sisters, is graduating from High School this week, so that's the catalyst that initiated this whole trip.

I managed to get five days off while only using 3 vacation days at work, and I didn't even have to trade in sexual favors for that. The days I'm taking off were completely blacked out, but the floor manager told me he appreciated my proactive stance on the issue, letting him know months in advance rather than a week before that I needed this time off. Plus, we had bought the tickets and made these plans way before I even had begun working for my current employer, and the tickets were not refundable. At least I think they're not. Which really helped me in the end, because there's no way I'm wasting 200+ dollars.

So, what does this mean to you? Loyal reader(s?) of "Blogs are for Wusses"? No posts until I return. I don't even know if they have the "internets" in Utah. I've never been there. And no, I won't return with more than one wife. Let me tell you . . . one's enough. So, enjoy whatever Lindsay Lohan does for the next five days and laugh as Paris Hilton begins her stint in jail . . . which should last about a week.

Lindsay Lohan Celebrates Memorial Day Weekend

There's really only one way to commemorate our service-men and their past battles to maintain democracy in the free world if you're Lindsay Lohan. So it's no surprise to me that she was busted for possession and crashed her car into a tree. Didn't you expect something like this to happen? I mean, it's Lindsay Lohan. Sure she's in AA, but she's not in NA, so as far as she knows, cocaine is cool. She just needs to stop drinking. I mean, who's gonna get hurt, right? A tree? Here's what "People" Magazine have in regards to this little incident. Oh, and happy Memorial Day by the way. While you're all enjoying barbeque's, I'll be working.

Lindsay Lohan was arrested and cited for driving under the influence in Los Angeles in the wee hours of Saturday morning, say police, who also found a substance tentatively identified as "a usable amount of cocaine" in connection with the accident.

The 20-year-old actress was slightly injured when her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 convertible struck a curb and shrub on Sunset Boulevard. The car suffered "major damage," according to police.

Lohan and two other people were in the vehicle when it crashed around 5:30 a.m., Lt. Mitch McCann, media relations officer for Beverly Hills police department, said during a press conference Saturday. The star was hospitalized for minor upper chest injuries. The passengers were not hurt.

At the press conference McCann said: "A usable amount of an illegal narcotic tentatively identified as cocaine was recovered and booked." Police would not specify where the drugs were found.

"She was charged with a misdemeanor," said McCann. "There is a potential for additional charges."

Just for the Fuck of It

There's really no news-worthy reason to post pictures of Olivia Munn (from Attack of the Show) dressed as Princess Leah from "Return of the Jedi". If only I were there, I could have been Jabba the Hutt. I would have no qualms with putting on 1000 lbs if I got to have Olivia Munn chained to me permanently. She would, though, end up choking me with the chain . . . like in the movie. Oh no! Spoiler! Sorry. But yeah, below is the full body shot that will send your nerd crotch into spasms of joy. I'm just glad that it wasn't Kevin Pereira in the metal(ish) bikini.

Opening Weekend Movies - 5/24/07

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - The third movie in the PotC trilogy, the only way to make movies these days it would seem, promises to be action packed with piratey goodness and tons of CG effects . . . which is great if the story were not so ridiculously dragged out. But, unlike the last movie, which resolved nothing, this one might actually wrap things up nicely and finally put the nail in the pirate coffin. But, if this movie does well, and makes "Spider-Man 3" like opening numbers, expect to see "Pirates of the Caribbean: Sneaking into your Wallets" in 2010.

Bug - The other movie that opens this weekend is a bit more on the interesting side. It stars Ashley Judd as a woman that begins to become paranoid that bugs are crawling underneath her skin. Also notable . . . not a single pirate character in the movie. That should be a plus for anyone that is burnt out on that stuff. This sounds like a very interesting movie. Too bad I won't go watch it. A few factors come into play as to why I won't go watch this. One, I'm working straight through Tuesday. Two, the price of movie tickets does not justify going to watch a movie unless I really really really want to see it. And three, we're in save money mode for our upcoming vacation in 5 days.

Indie Recommendation

Paprika - This movie is opening up in selected theaters. A few months ago I posted a rather impressive trailer for this Anime film. You should go watch it. I know that the plot involving a dream detective trying to track down someone who is using a device to invade people's dreams sounds ludicrous, but the animation looks gorgeous and you can almost guarantee plenty of seats available. Check out your local indie theater and enjoy this visual experience.

No One Likes a Fatty

Um . . . is this woman the devil? This MeMe Roth woman who says that Jordin Sparks, the contestant of American Idol, should not have won because she's fat. But, in the end, America embraced the chance of diabetes over the chance of endless white-boy beat-boxing. It's almost like choosing a BK Whopper over a tofu-burger. I would have (if I watched the show) made the same decision America.

Debt Collector Vs. Judge Judy

I don't have much sympathy for debt collectors, and I've worked for the collections dept of Earthlink Internet in the past. Sure, at the time I was just trying to collect 2 months past due internet service, as opposed to a payday loan which is what this douchebag was trying to collect on when he called the wrong number and ran face first into this Judge Judy soundboard. Oh, and by the way . . . never ever ever go to one of those payday advance places. I work with a bank now in customer service, and you would not believe the horror stories I've come across that involve these types of businesses. Anyway, enjoy the 10 minutes or so of this video. Sure, you have to endure the intensely annoying and shrill voice that is being used to keep the debt collector on his toes, but it's for a good cause?

Trailers Cubed

I've got three trailers for you today. One, looks awesome. The other, could be awesome. And the third, is downright evil.


This first trailer is for the "Golden Compass" movie coming out soon. It's fantasy much like "The Lord of the Rings" was, but even more fantastical. It's got Daniel Craig in it, along with Nicole Kidman, Eva Green, and Sam Elliot as a cowboy. Hmm, that's a stretch. Oh, it also has talking polar bears, which almost guarantees that my wife will want to watch it.


This next trailer is for FOX's new Terminator hour-long drama debuting this fall. It's called "The Sarah Connor Chronicles", and it stars Lena Heady (the Spartan queen from "300"), some kid as John Connor, and Summer Glau as a terminator. It might be OK, but I know that if I start watching it, and enjoying it, FOX, will just pull the plug on it like every other show I've loved on FOX.


This next trailer comes from MTV, who decided it would be a great idea to make "My Super Sweet 16" into a movie. Fuck them. That's all I have to say about that.

John Rambo Footage

This is not so much a trailer as it is a selection of scenes that "Aintitcool.com" was able to get from Sylvester Stallone's next resurrection project, "John Rambo". I know it's not the trailer because there's enough gore and almost rape in it that would not be shown during a trailer reel for any of the summer blockbuster movies slated for release. Although, I could see it as a pre-cursor to a "Grindhouse" type of movie. It does have that feel. Specially that scene where he lops of the dude's head on the mounted machine gun on the Jeep, and then he turns it on the driver, and makes quite the mess. I did not watch Stallone's latest "Rocky" movie, but seeing this now, I might rethink that and actually record it whenever it hits HBO or Showtime.

Search Terms - Sunday Searching

Google is back in the search results, and as you can see, the difference is massive. I'll let the searching do the talking.

fhm philipine - Google Search
figure skaters nipple slips - AOL Search
the hills have eyes 2 rape scene mpeg - Google Search SG
What’s Peter Parker’s scooter license plate number in Spider-Man 2? - Google Search SG
bijou phillips mpeg - Google Search
gyllenhaal mpeg - Google Search FR
jessica simpson areolas - MSN Live Search
Kate Bosworth nipples - Google Search
radcliffe cock - Google Search RU
superbad r-rated trailer - Google Search
Bianca Gascoigne beaver shot UK - Eurekster Search
torrent "Crossing the bridge-The sound of Istanbul" - Google Search ES
kim kardashian clip - BlogSearch
zombie ak74 - Google Search
photo of lovemaking scene from the movie"Basic Instinct 1" - Google Search IN
handy manny - AOL Search
Inphyy winona - Google Search SG
Sienna Miller - Technorati Search
kardashian watersport scene download - Google Search CA
papparazi upskirt stars oops - Google Search RO
tv upskirt - BlogSearch FR
"Pete Wentz' Unit" - Google Search UK
penelope cruz scene while peeing - Google Search FR
anne hathaway havoc clip - Google Search
lily allen upskirt - Google Search UK
"morgan webb" - BlogSearch
"requiem for a dream dildo" - Google Search
amanda bynes nip slip - Google Search
sexygirls blogspots - Google Search UK
louise banks upskirt - Google Search UK
eva green free mpeg - Google Search UK
ice skaters upskirt no pants - Google Search UK
panettiere thong - Google Search FR
upskirt johansen - Comcast Search
"runway models nude" - Google Search
used panty - Google Search FR
preggo milf site:blogspot.com - Yahoo Search
accidental nipslip - Google Search BE
JAMES FRANCO SEXTAPE - Google Search
maggie gyllenhaal masturbate - Google Search
Rachel Weisz farts - Google Search CA
emma watson nipple slip - AltaVista Search
inphyy topless - Google Search
jennifer connelly snapshot requiem dream - Google Search CO
emma watson getting fucked pics - MSN Live Search
bollywood rape scene of actresses in wmv - Google Search
emilie de ravin rape clip - Google Search SE
"britney spears" "pooped her pants" - Google Search TR
gretchen moll/betty page - Google Search
morgan webb underwear - Google Search
"giant areolas" - Google Search SE
Shia Leboef pix - Google Search TH
schoolgirl portman blog - Google Search CA
"pictures+no+panties" - Google Search
"red carpet motorcycle crash" - Google Search
Kimberly Stewart riding a motorcycle without panties - Google Search
bianca gascoigne paparazzi pictures sunbathing topless - Google Search
bianca gascoigne nipples - Google Search UK
shit.ee - Google Search UK
eva green boob size - Google Search SG
upskirt hairy - BlogSearch
hermaphrodite sex for cash uk - Yahoo Search UK
emmanuelle horse scene wmv - Google Search SK
"Kimberly Stewart nude" - Yahoo Search
"completely see through" shaved public - Google Search
jake gyllenhaal & kristen dunst photogallery - Yahoo Search IT
emilie de ravin nip - Google Search FR
pre teen boy's nude - Virgilio Search IT
jennifer connelly nude - BlogSearch
upshorts gallery - Google Search
"Fall Out Boy Screencaps" - Dogpile Search
ikea dog penis - Google Search CA
fuck movies - BlogSearch
women who nipple slip.com - Comcast Search
john stamos - BlogSearch
tom selleck - BlogSearch
world famous actress + nude + papparazi pictures - Google Search
was ciera a hermaphrodite? - Google Search
going commando limbo dancing - Google Search IE
orgasm during peeing - Google Search
how will fantastic four: rise of the silver surfer fare at the box office - Google Search TT
mischa barton pantyshot - Google Search DE
indian actress naked - BlogSearch
natalie portman nipple - BlogSearch
"She's getting raped" + again - Google Search
has emilie de ravin blonde pubic hair - Yahoo Search
"KEELY TAPE" - Google Search UK
"hermione pee toilet fanfic" - Google Search

Opening Weekend Movies - 5/18/07

Shrek the 3rd - More like "Opening Weekend Movie", as this is pretty much the only thing that opens this weekend in a wide release. Screw you independent films. You won't stand a chance at beating this family movie juggernaut. It will make a bazillion dollars. Most likely will take the #1 spot away from "Spider-Man 3", which hardly deserves it. Remember, if this movie does well, you're just planting the seeds for "Shrek 4", which means, you're doing it to yourself America. You sick masochistic fucks.

New Transformers Trailer

I had some concerns when I heard that they were making a Transformers movie. It could end up being extremely cheesy or just downright suck-tackular. From the look of the trailers, it's looking like neither, and rather looking pretty fucking awesome. I'm definitely going to go watch this movie on the 4th of July. You should too. It's your patriotic duty to support the most successful American export to the world . . . movies.

Network Execs Mightier than A-Bombs

CBS network executives have passed on renewing "Jericho" for the fall 2007 television season. This is an outrage (well, that maybe a little strong) as this is hands down their best show on their line up. I don't usually get behind causes, mainly due to lazyness, but check out the link below and sign the petition to save this show. I don't care if their air the 2nd season on Saturdays at midnight. I'm still going to record it.

Sign the save "Jericho" petition here

Zach Galifianakis is Uncomfortable

You know, I would have done the same thing. If I were in a studio full of "Ellen" audience members, I might not have been able to keep my composure as well as Zach did. I actually would have broken down and cowered on the floor, all the while, throwing my feces at the crowd. I don't think I've seen a scarier thing this whole week, and I went to watch "28 Weeks Later" on Tuesday.

Mischa Barton Slips the Whole Boob

I'm pretty sure that most shirts were designed with the intent of covering what is underneath. You know, against the elements of nature, public decency and the such. But, Mischa Barton must not adhere to those arcane shirt-rules, because the shirts she wears just don't cover up anything. That one she's wearing in these pictures looks like it was made out of torn up toilet paper. While the concept might be imaginative, it proves to be less than practical, as you can clearly see pretty much her whole boob. Whatever happened to providing a little mystery to what may lay under the clothes? I guess that's an antiquated concept these days. Next thing you know, Mischa Barton will run around with a can of soup on her head and nothing else. Why? Because it's fashionable.

Maxim is Blind

Let me start of by saying that Lindsay Lohan ain't no Quasimodo. With that said, she's also not the hottest woman on the face of this planet. I mean, that's something anyone can agree with, right? Well, if you're a Maxim Magazine staffer, you'd probably be on the opposition. They just picked Lindsay Lohan to be in their top 100 hottest women issue, and not in the top 50, 20, 10, but as #1! What the hell is going on with this crazy world. The only thing I was expecting Linday Lohan of winning right now was the "Most Likely to fall on a Penis, accidentally (wink) while snorting Cocaine" award for 2007. Not hottest woman in the world. I haven't picked up a Maxim in a long time. Now, I know why.


What color goes with "coke-whore"? Apparently, every single one.

Uncle Jesse and his Bellybutton of Doom

John Stamos is an attractive guy. I have to hand it to him. But that only pertains to what can be seen. What's under those clothes is a mess. His bellybutton looks like it belongs on Frankenstein's Monster or something sick and twisted that science hath wrought upon the world. You'll see it during the video, along with Conan O'Brian's and Tom Selleck's own bellybuttons.

Fujiya & Miyagi Dice Animation

I've been enjoying Fujiya & Miyagi's "Ankle Injuries" along with "Collarbone" for the better part of 2007, so it's no surprise to me that I would enjoy their video for one of those songs, which reminds me a little of the White Stripes. Not their music, just the style they chose to make the video in. First time that I have seen dice used in animation though. I would post up some MP3's for you, but they're in the old computer. But, as soon as we finish porting over all the music in there to the new laptop, I'll post them up.

Don't hold your breath though. We started that project over 90 days ago and we stopped at the "e's" and then got lazy.

Oprah has Interesting Feet

Not sure if the big toe on the foot is supposed to be perpendicular to all of the other toes, but that's not the strangest part of that picture. If you count those toes, you'll end up with 6 of them. Last I checked, human beings only possessed 5 toes per foot, which would make Oprah either a mutant, or an extra-terrestrial.

Bratz? Seriously?

Just a few moments ago I was thinking that the worst thing that Hollywood could unleash on us was that "Delta Farce" movie . . . but silly me. Why would I think that there could not be anything worse. You've seen those Bratz dolls at toy stores, slutting up your daughters at an early age. Well, now they have a live-action movie, and above is trailer. Or the coming of the apocalypse. You decide.

Box Office Report - Not all the Rage

Spider-Man 3 - Despite a $100 million drop-off in business this weekend, as opposed to the last weekend, this movie still takes the top spot making just under $60 million, proving that people don't read reviews anymore and they like to be subjected to long, drawn-out melodrama sandwiched in between CGI fight scenes. I did not enjoy this movie. It wasn't terrible . . . but there's just so much missed potential.

28 Weeks Later - Zombie movies don't usually end up this high on the list, but just like it's predecessor, this movie is a bit of a small hit. I hear good things about this movie. Analog Medium has a review of it if you're thinking about watching it and haven't made a decision yet. I didn't read the whole thing, because I want to keep myself spoiler free for this one. So, be careful. And you can check out their growing "Encyclopedia Zombica", which keeps growing as they keep watching pretty much every single zombie movie ever made. Those guys are kah-razy.

Georgia Rule - Snooze. Why do women watch this type of crap? It stars three old broads dealing with love. Didn't "Golden Girls" tackle this subject in the early 90's? Or was it the late 80's? And before you say "Wait, it's two old broads and a young one", consider how old and tired Lindsay Lohan is looking these days. Plus, when did her voice get that raspy? She sounds like my grandma on three packs a day. And my grandma is dead. It's that bad.

Disturbia - The "Cult of LeBouef" continues to pump fresh money into this movie, which has outperformed my expectations. Everything this kid touches turns into tween gold. No wonder they got him for the "Transformers" movie. That flick's gonna make tons of cash just on the LeBouef-factor. Fuck the robots in disguise, I just want my "Even Stevens" fix.

Delta Farce - Seriously America? A Larry the Cable Guy movie in the top five? Shouldn't you all be at Wal-Mart of K-Mart, buying denim suits and getting your mullets coiffed? What the fuck is wrong with you? Maybe the terrorists were right. Maybe America is indeed evil.

Jennifer Connelly Nude Scene

Jennifer Connelly - Waking The Dead - The best free videos are right here

I remember watching "Waking the Dead" a long time ago. Just for the fact that Jennifer Connelly is in it, and I have this rather strange fixation on her that just annoys the crap out of my wife. Here's a deleted scene from that movie which shows some passionate love making . . . which kinda ends a little bit on the fucked up side.

Kate Bosworth - Bikini-holic

At what point do we, as a caring nation, intervene, and tell Kate Bosworth that it is OK not to be in a bikini all the time. I mean, this is the third posting about her, in said swimwear, in the past 2 weeks. I feel like I'm documenting her life for a special all-bikini biography. Which, would be interesting, but I ain't doing it for free. Until I'm commissioned to write about that, I ain't doing it. Ignore the fact that I am currently doing that. Anyway, here she is again, at the beach, minus her hotter friends, just adjusting her boobies. And looking up at the sky? Um, OK. Is there something to eat up there Kate Bosworth? Are you mistaking the Sun with a giant lemon? I don't know what's up with her. But she is indeed, in a bikini, and that's what you people like . . . right?


One more picture from the back, because I think spinal chords are sexy. Mmmm . . .bony.

Opening Weekend Movies - 5/11/07

28 Weeks Later - This is my pick of the weekend, although, it won't get number 1 at the box office. "Spider-Man 3" is still running around, emptying the pockets of America. But, this movie should be at least pretty good. The first one was a bit of a surprise, and I actually watched it twice in the theaters. I'm not expecting a repeat of that with this new installment, but I might go either this weekend (if my work schedule allows it) or during one of my days off during the week.

Delta Farce - Wow. That Larry the Cable Guy is still making movies. And for who? This guy is pretty much a joke here in the west coast. And not a very funny one at that. Actually, his whole blue collar comedy schtick should only work in landlocked states. States where the people have gun-racks in their pick-up trucks. States that I don't really want to visit. I have an idea. Only release these types of turds in those States, and save us the trouble of having to watch the trailers whenever we go watch movies. Fuck you Larry the Cable Guy.

The Ex - Oh Zach Braff, you used to be funny. Now, you're in all of these romantic comedies, and it just feels like you're trying to make "Garden State" all over again. That was a once in a lifetime movie man. Stop staring into the camera while some hipster music plays in the background. This should be the "date" movie of the weekend. Otherwise known as "the price to pay for pussy". We've all been there.

Georgia Rule - Hey, it's the movie where Lindsay Lohan pissed off the President of Morgan Creek productions? That's pretty much the most interesting thing about the movie. That, and she fakes fellatio to a guy in a rowboat. Whatever. I hate Lindsay Lohan movies. They're just so trite. And she's looking pretty tired too. Like all of these past few years of partying and snorting various substances into her nasal cavities are aging her prematurely. She actually looks like Jane Fonda's slutty sister in this movie. Fans of geriatric porno, rejoice.

Ty Pennington Gets DUI

If you're not familiar with ABC's hit show, "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", then you wouldn't know who this guy is. Or, if you never watched TLC's "Trading Spaces", you would also not know who this guy is. But, being that I have a ridiculous fascination with home improvement programming on the ol' boob-tube, I do know who this douche-bag is. The interesting thing is, ABC/Disney cuts his paychecks every week. Since he got pulled over and arrested for driving drunk, this does not bode well for his future on the channel. What am I talking about?

Well, if you remember, Michelle Rodriguez and the chick who played Libby on "Lost" (also an ABC show) were quickly killed off the show. Shortly thereafter, the actor who played Mr. Ecko on that same show, also got pulled over for a DUI and he was killed off the show as well. So, based on ABC's track record, you could expect to see, in the following weeks, Ty Pennington going into a house, ready to start demolition, and the roof will fall on him. Or maybe a nail-gun malfunction while he works on his special super secret project of the week. Something will happen. Ty Pennington will die. That's just the way ABC works.

Box Office Report - My Money Sense is Tingling

Spider-Man 3 - So, this movie made a ton of money this past weekend, and also broke a record set by some pirate movie last year. The third outing in the Spider-Man franchise brought in an unprecedented $148 million to Sony Pictures . . . and the executives at that movie studio are rolling in money like pigs in shit. Did I watch it this past weekend? No. Don't tell me what happens. I'm waiting until it hits the 2 for 1 theater in Pasadena. 5 bucks ya'll. Or maybe I'll see it next weekend, where it will make another trillion dollars.

Disturbia - For 2 weeks in a row, this movie was number one. But it couldn't contend with the box office juggernaut that is the movie currently holding the top spot. But, is this movie good? Who knows. It's got that LaBouef kid. He's charismatic-ish? I'm not going to watch this. Why? Well, I don't watch the Disney Channel and I'm not a tween girl.

Fracture - This movie actually moved up one spot in the top five. Not many movies do that. But then again, it only $3 million this weekend. A bit anemic wouldn't you say? Which is why it gets an anemic entry.

The Invisible - The next few sentences will be written in invisible ink.



Next - So, Nick Cage? What new hairstyle will you be sporting for your next box office disaster? Mullet? Jerry-Curl? Whi-fro?

Sideboob-Burg - Natalie Portman

It would appear that the "sideboob" is currently overtaking the "nipple-slip" as far as frequency shown around these parts of the internet. Not that I have a preference over either one of those boob-displaying categories. But, with yesterday's Petra Nemcova offering, and today's Natalie Portman posting showing off a little bit of the sideboob action, it would appear that 2007 is the year of the sideboob. At least that's what my Chinese restaurant place-mat calendar is telling me. And who could not have anticipated that this little number Natalie Portman is wearing would not be ripe for some sideboob action? I mean, it's basically a trashbag with arm-holes cut into it. It looks good on her though. I think if you click on the picture below, and squint really hard, you can make out a little bit of the nipple. I think. I'm not guaranteeing it though.

Lindsay Lohan Powders Nose

In these blurry screencaps, most likely taken from a cellphone camera, you can see Lindsay Lohan hanging out in a bathroom with a friend. Now, this is not uncommon, as women are known to go to the bathroom in groups. But, not all of them snort cocaine during their little bathroom trips. You can actually see that in the picture below. If you want a time frame as to when this happened, that would be a few weeks after she left rehab. Which doesn't mean that rehab doesn't work . . . but rather, Lindsay Lohan is an out of control coke-whore who frequents public bathrooms with friends to shove cocaine up hers, and anyone who is with her, nose(s).

Sideboob-Burg - Petra Nemcova

I don't know what the deal is with Petra Nemcova. I mean, she's alright looking. She may or may not have a sexy European accent. She doesn't look like Rosie O'Donnell. And those cans are not too shabby. But, why should I care about this? I don't really. I'm doing this for you. The people who love Petra Nemcova and who want to see a little sideboob action. Below is the picture you've been wanting to see. I hope you enjoy it. Just as a side note. This is the chick that was going out with that James Blunt guy . . . right? This means that she doesn't particularly have great taste in men. Which, consequently, gives you, the poor parent's basement-living schlub, a chance at hooking up with her. Just come up with an annoying song that will get overplayed all over the world, and it's a sure thing.


No nipples present, but that boob is just millimeters from being completely exposed.

Search Terms - Googleless

For the past month or so I've been trying to compile a Googleless list of search terms. I have come to realize that this task is pretty friggin' hard. I mean, a month and this is all I could find? I had an idea about how many people use Google to find their way around the internet . . . but man. Tons of people use Yahoo and AOL every day, but the bulk of the searches coming in to this site are from Google. As for the list itself . . . nothing too surprising.

quentin tarantino sanjaya - BlogSearch
amanda bynes nipslip - AOL Search
lindsey +lohann crotch shots - Yahoo Search
jessica alba ass - AltaVista Search
drunk pissing - AltaVista Search
clip kim kardashian - BlogSearch
celebrity upskirt - AOL Search
bounce that girl talk - BlogSearch
Katharine McPhee nude - AOL Search
hillary cameltoe - AOL Search
ass - Naver Search
celebrity nipple slips - AOL Search
"nude" blogurl - BlogSearch
"catherine mcphee" and "nude" - Yahoo Search
katherine mcphee upskirt - Yahoo Search AU
Katherine mcphee's nude - Yahoo Search HK
emma watson blogspot realm - Yahoo Search AR
paparazzi topless nipple slip oops - BlogSearch
KATHERINE MCPHEE NIP - Yahoo Search
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Opening Weekend Movies - 5/04/07

Spider-Man 3: Wow, the time is finally here, and I don't have any money to go watch this. Granted, I read somewhere that the reviews are mixed, but who cares. The American public does not care about reviews, and judging by the business that the previous two movies made, this will be this weekend's guaranteed top earner. But, it does star Kirsten Dunst, who's snaggle-toothed performance I heard involves singing . . . twice?! Oh Sam Raimi, you're going to end up shooting yourself in the foot if you keep employing that troll in your movies.

Lucky You - This movie could not have picked a worst time to open. I mean, just take a look at its competition. Eric Bana, former "Hulk", and Drew Barrymore . . . who I don't know why she's even famous. This will be the movie that chicks take their boyfriends or husbands to if they're totally pissed at them and don't want them to see something remotely entertaining. So, if you find yourself watching this movie this weekend . . . what the hell did you do wrong man?

Nipple-Topia - Come in Twos

It's Thursday, and I came across a few shots of a couple of blond Hollywood stars showing a little more nipple than they would want to. The first, directly to the left of this paragraph, is Sienna Miller. The most popular non-important celeb currently being pushed upon us by the media. For a woman that is famous because Jude Law fucked around with the babysitter while dating her, I'd say she's doing pretty OK for herself. The following pictures were taken while she was eating or something. You can see, if you click on the pictures to make them larger, the nipple in question. It's not spectacular, but it's there. And that's all it really needs to be right?


One more close up of the nipple in this "Whoa! Extreme Close-Up!". I love making references to "Wayne's World".


The next celebrity is BAFW's latest bikini-infatuated celebrity. I'm talking about none other than Kate Bosworth. While she is still a bit on the skinny side, she is seen in the photos below handling a baby. A baby that will most obviously be thinking to itself . . . where are the boobs? They're still not up to "Blue Crush" potential, but it takes time to rehabilitate a body . . . right? I'm still keeping the hope alive.


Let's move in for a close up. Click on the picture, make it bigger. You might also want to break out a magnifying glass and your Sherlock Holmes hat. You're going to need to go looking for it.

Marvel Fucks with My Head

This fucking full length trailer for the second Fantastic Four movie is . . . well, it really makes me want to go watch it. I don't know why. There are better comic book inspired movies coming out this year (or in 300's case, already have come out). I mean, Spider-Man 3 is right around the corner. But, is it just flashy editing and putting in all the cool parts in a tight 2 minute package designed to fool me into going to go watch this? At least, if I go watch this, I go in with low expectations. If it happens to be not terrible, then that could only be a positive, right? Oh well, I've spent more money on dumber things in the past. 20 bucks in June won't break the bank.

If you're not down with the YouTube'y definition of this video (who would) then check out the film's official trailer site here for high definition trailer screens that will fill your screen with what would appear to be greatness.

Superbad R-Rated Trailer

It would appear that Sony Pictures is doing something right when it comes to the marketing campaign for their upcoming movie "Superbad". They're releasing mature content over the internet. They do require that you go through a pretty retarded age verification process, but the payout is sublime. The trailer, which I thought was pretty brilliant before, now makes me want to definitely pay money to see this. Anyway, check it out here and bust out your fake ID's . . . McLovin.

Britney Spears Topless . . . Sorta?

Technically, she is topless. But she's not showing much of anything. She's got those stupid flowers covering what counts the most. What you people are looking for. Yeah, that's right . . . the nipples. So, this could just be categorized as Britney Spears being a jackass. Which is pretty much what she does all the time.


I like how she cocks her head to one side. Like a confused puppy.

Kate Bosworth Fond of Bikinis

A couple of days ago I posted some Kate Bosworth bikini pictures that made me forget just how dangerously thin she had become over the past couple of years. I'm talking Aushwitz prisoner combined with Nicole Ritchie thin. You could say she was almost non-existent. But now, it looks like she's seen the light . . . the one in the fridge, because there's an actual semblance of meat on her that looks pretty good. Specially when she pushes them together with her arms like that. It doesn't hurt that she hangs out with other bikini'd chicks as well. Check out the caboose-focused picture below. Not too shabby ladies. Now, the two of you should wrestle. In the the mud. Or my pants.


Just kidding about the "my pants" thing. In case my wife is reading. She ain't no Jennifer Connelly. I'm totally getting smacked for that comment.

Box Office Report - Didn't See it Coming

Disturbia - Never underestimate the pull that Shia LeBoef has with the tween crowd. I mean, who cares about him other than all the "Even Stevens" fans who keep watching those re-runs on the Disney Channel. Sure, he's an OK actor. But enough to keep this movie at #1 for two weeks straight? I don't think so. America and I are not on speaking terms right now.

The Invisible - Guess no one was either interested in this or people are just saving up for next weekend, when the first major blockbuster of the year should be released. This rather forgettable mystery was, indeed, invisible to viewers who passed this up.

Next - Nick Cage. When will you learn that it's not the weird haircuts that you sport in your movies that draws in the crowds, but rather the caliber of the stories you're acting in. Take some time to re-evaluate your career man. When a big "action" movie opens up with just over 7 million, that's not even enough to pay for the advertising campaign. I guess he didn't see this coming. Haha, get it, because the movie is about a guy that can see into the future. *sigh* Why do I have to explain myself to you people.

Fracture - Yawn. Isn't it Anthony Hopkins' nap time? Someone get him his puree'd steak and potatoes and an extra thick straw. The man has to watch his "Matlock" for crying outloud.

Blades of Glory - It should be a crime for a movie that looks as ridiculous as this to make over 100 million dollars. But there's no denying the allure of Will Ferrell. That motherfucker's funny. But is he really 100 million dollars funny? I guess America has decided that already.

Special #6 Entry

Hot Fuzz - This movie is performing alright despite the fact that it has those silly English accents and it's been ignored by pretty much the whole of the mainstream American public. We watched this the weekend it opened and had a great time. You should really take your time to find this movie and watch it in the theaters. By the power of Greyskull . . . .

Kathy Griffin Exits Gracefully

Not much to say about this other than it's hilarious, and its one of the few times that you will actually see me posting about Kathy Griffin. I mean, the woman looks like Bozo the Clown's unattractive sister. She's kinda funny, but other than this, there should be no reason why I should be posting things about her.