Amy Winehouse Wanted by Scientologists

It would appear that Scientologists are currently courting Amy Winehouse to join their "religion". In my own personal opinion, I would not recommend Scientology to anyone . . . but in this case, they can have Amy Winehouse. I mean, look at that crack whore. That ain't getting any better any time soon. So, fine, take her away on your space Boeing 747's piloted by John Travolta. This is what "The Daily Mirror" had to say about it:

One of Amy’s inner circle tells me: “She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back to Black album. They told her they wanted to help her beat drugs and could tailor-make a programme so she wouldn’t have to go to a residential centre. She liked that idea because her husband Blake is out of prison soon and wouldn’t want to be away from him when he’s finally freed.”

I don't care if the residential center is on the surface of the moon. The sooner I stop seeing pictures like these, the better.

Arghh! Winehouse SMASH!!

Letters from Scientology

I know there might be a moral problem with re-printing someone else's personal e-mail, but when you're a Scientologist, and you're wrapped up in a make-believe "religion", you're kind of asking for it. Leah Remini, one of the stars on "King of Queens" is a super-Scientologist. She ain't no Tom Cruise, but by judging from the e-mail below, she's getting close. Try to decipher the following e-mail and see just what the hell she's talking about. I couldn't make heads or tails from it, but then again, I'm just a lowly SP.

Hi!

This is Leah Remini Writing you again. Some of you may know me from the TV show "King of Queens", but what is more important is that I am now OT V and at one point I was a very stalled Clear. A lot of people helped me to get OT, and I decided I was going to turn around and help every Clear make it to OT.

A couple of months ago, you received a letter from me about an event I was holding to help people move who were stalled on the Bridge. Obviously you did not come and for some reason, feel you are not indeed a "stalled Clear". Let me start with the definition of "stalled". Not that you are-but who knows? STALL: To slow down or
halt the progress of. (American Heritage Student Dictionary). If you are not aggressively moving on your next step-your next "Gradechart Action", you are stalled. Look at the Gradechart, it says: Clear-Sunshine Rundown-Solo Course Part 1-OT Preparations and so on up the chart. If you are not on your next step as per this chart, and are not on a prerequisite for Solo, you are stalled-plain and simple.

If your C/S has CS ed you for the PTS SP course, or some other needed action to get you rolling up the GRADECHART faster, then do it, and do it fast. I have experience being a Stalled Clear. I was the kind of gal who went on course MAYBE a period a day, only on weekdays, and that was ONLY if I had the time. I felt I deserved a
special award for being there and they couldn't possibly ask for more. I remember thinking and saying out loud, "I WILL NEVER be like those idiots who wait 10 years to go OT!" 10 years later, I hadn't moved. I mean I did everything else but move on to Solo One. I did other courses, I got myself in to trouble, then needed some FPRD and
then I would finish that and it would be "my finances"... I would hear people talk to me about other Clears and refer to them as "stalled Clears" and I would be like "Yeah-they are totally stalled. You guys should handle them." Never once did I think "I" was a stalled Clear, because I was always doing something. Once my mother
told me I was stalled and I actually thought she was an idiot. Really, I thought "Wow, she really should handle that." I also thought she just didn't know me. My mom is OT VII and a Class VI. She did know me and she was right. So, it is up to you now to be
honest with yourself and look at your own progress up the Bridge.

Do you ever wonder why you are not moving? No? Then that's an outpoint. You are Clear, you are special, why have you not moved? Whatever the reason, there is an answer and a solution. I don't care what it is: you were not serviced right or fast enough, people don't get you, you have other things going on that we don't get, you are helping
others, you are upset, you haven't been acked, your life is actually going well, your life is not going well, there's no money there's no time, if you were a millionaire you would do it no problem, you are waiting for your 2D to make it, there's no urgency, you are not sure if you have what it takes to be OT, you hated your auditor, you don't like the parking situation...WHATEVER IT IS, IT IS STOPPING YOU AND THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT!

Why am I telling you this and who the hell am I writing you? Do you think that I have nothing better to do with my time than write you letters and put on events? Do you think I make some sort of commission off you? The answer is that I don't have better things to do than to support my group and help when I can. Clears ARE my
group. And no- I don't make a dime. Does that make you wonder, "Why the hell does she care?". Or... "Why does the Org care?" Well, when you do your levels you too will care. Sept 11th (9/11) kicked me in the a&#.

I finally realized that all it takes is a few madmen to take us all down. There I was, just running on my treadmill thinking life is okay. I'm going on course every so often, (when I had time) and BAM! Life has changed. I suddenly thought, "Oh my God, what if I'm stuck in this condition again and I have to--what? Do it all over again?
Where would I go? What would I do? Would some secret Scientology police come down and save me? Is there a secret back-up plan? I was sure there was. But there isn't . All it would take is another tragic event to happen again and we are all done. There will be no planet for us to be stalled, or "just doing okay" on. There would be nothing! The only plan is for you to move on up to OT as fast as you can. That is the secret. Really. I am asking you to get it together. You are in charge and responsible for what you do this lifetime. Not being on course and not doing your next step is getting you where? Play out the scenario-there you are being a Clear, being right about whatever it is that is keeping you from being on course and doing your next step. Years go by, you are making money, you have a nice house and a nice car. You spent time with those friends you wanted to hang out with, you cleaned out the garage, you traveled. You do
all the things that were keeping you from taking your next step. Then what? Then you are going to move? I hate to say this but you are lying to yourself. You need to move now, regardless of your situation. Are you just going to keep in place what you have had sitting there for lifetimes to come? Do you think we are just going to be here forever? So I say knock off any critical thought right now that you may have about me, the orgs, your FSM, your auditor, anyone else, and contact us so we can help you. All you need to do is just reach once and we can help. LRH was very clear on what we need to do- obviously in some way you are out of agreement with that. That again, is an outpoint, and we can help you with that.

You're waiting because of money? Or for your wife to do it first or for you to strike it rich? It will not happen without your decision to go up the levels. That is the truth. You owe it to yourself, your family, and to mankind to move and move NOW.

In closing, this is not going to happen often. I am only doing this again because some of you did not show. I hope to see you on September 28th at 11:30am at the AOLA atrium for a second chance. There will be brunch served, free of course! Do this for yourself- just blow through whatever it is that is sitting there, and just come. It's not going to kill you- I promise!

Much love,
Leah Remini

Jerry O'Connell Spoofs Tom Cruise

Funny or Die has this video up of Jerry O'Connell, who I think is currently surviving off of "Sliders" royalties, doing a spot on impersonation of Tom Cruise on those weird Scientology Medal of Valor videos that were leaked last week. It's pretty good. I think this might get Jerry O'Connell some work. And it might get his brother some work as well, you know, What's-his-name O'Connell. I think he might have been in one of the seasons of "The Bachelor". Whatever. Watch the video. The Church of Making Fun of Tom Cruise commands it!

More Scientology Fun Times!

These Scientology videos pop-up and then get taken down almost faster than Scientology can take credit for anything lately. Just check out the video. Apparently, Tom Cruise saved a bunch of firemen in New York after 9/11. I guess he established some sort of detox center because everyone around ground zero had a cough. And he didn't ask permission. Because, being a Scientologist means you never have to ask for permission. Which is why their lawyers just tear down these videos. They don't ask nicely. They just do it. And doing it, according to the previous video I attempted to display here, is what Scientology is all about.

Here's another video of Tom Cruise accepting the Medal of Valor award during one of these secretive conclave meetings. I thought there'd me more orgy and emptying of bank accounts . . . but that's just me. And is it me, or do they talk in code most of the time. Using made up words that L. Ron Hubbard dreamt up for one of his sci-fi novels? What is wrong with these kooky bastards.

Oh, and I don't know how long these videos will last, so get your Scientology on while they still work.

Oh . . . OK?

Tom Cruise Explains Scientologist Thought Proves He's Crazy
Uploaded by buggeroff4711

So, we have to do it. Because, not doing it won't make our world a better place . . . but dammit if it isn't a rough & tumble helluv'a fun ride. At least I think that's what Tom Cruise is trying to explain to us. Because, I just watched that thing . . . and I'm still confused.

Fuck you Tom Cruise.

And fuck Scientology.

UPDATE:

It would seem the forces of Scientology don't want you to see the video I posted yesterday. That's fine. Whatever. There's still this video below where Tom Cruise bashes Psychology. Probably because Psychology doesn't believe that an alien entity named Xenu was banished to our volcanoes in space-faring jumbo jets. That's just a theory though.

ScienTOMogy: Tom Cruise and Matt Lauer
Uploaded by scientomogy

2nd UPDATE: Gawker has the video that was brought down by Scientology and they're not removing it from their site. Head on out there and check out the insanity if you already haven't

The Dark Knight Trailer

I caught this trailer for the upcoming Batman sequel "The Dark Knight" when I went to watch "I Am Legend" this weekend. I heard a lot of cheering in the crowd, and with good reason. The trailer looks amazing. The movie looks amazing. Even better than "Batman Begins". Heath Ledger looks downright creepy as The Joker and Christian Bale has his Batman down. Director Christopher Nolan replaced Katie Holmes with Maggie Gyllenhaal this time around, most likely because Katie Holmes is still being held captive by Tom Cruise and his Scientology cronies. Maybe in the third Batman film, the Dark Knight can fight Scientology. That would be great. In any case, check out the trailer here.

Friday Special - Jenny McCarthy Camel-toe

You know, I remember a time when I thought Jenny McCarthy was just hot as can be. For a while there, she went through a bit of a fugly period, but I'm glad to see the old Jenny McCarthy coming back. She's looking pretty good in a bikini in these pictures, and that camel-toe she's got on display is actually helping her looks. Methinks someone will be having a bit of a acting renaissance if they keep this up. Hopefully, it won't be like John Travolta's from the late '90's. He showed great promise when "Pulp Fiction" was released. Then, Scientology fucked him up. So, moral of the story. More camel-toe, less pseudo-religious quackery.

Dodging the Training Bullet

I forgot to mention earlier during my ex-employer (as of tomorrow) rant about how I expertly dodged their "Hat Training" for the better part of a year. That, I can count as one of my great triumphs while being employed by them. Now, I was a bit leery when I heard that this company was using the L. Ron Hubbard Business Management model, but I thought it was just the way they ran the business, not that they wanted to impose this on their employees.

So, there's been this cat and mouse game with the training people and me. Most of it has been pretty low key, and I actually attended one class, which felt like a slap in the face to intelligence. But new hires have to go through this "training" which isn't actually relevant to the job they're performing. Say, someone starting a tech support position would still have to do this "hat training", even though there's no actual tech-training involved. It's more like on-the-job behavioral modification. A sort of brain-washing if you will.

And the effect that it has on people that go through it is fairly palpable. It would seem that they are encouraged to write and then distribute an e-mail to all staff as to how "enjoyable" the training was and how much this is going to help them not just at work, but in their every day lives. They're not fooling me though. I know that these pod-people employees have been modified by this crazy Scientology training. I'm not having any part of it.

The creepy headmaster of the program stopped by my cubbyhole this morning and, after actually noticing that I wasn't the guy he was looking for, told me that he wished me luck on my new position. It's kind of weird that he would not know who I was one minute, but then somehow knew the next. I could tell that running around in his brain was the same thought: "Damn, this one got away!". I sure did Creepy.

I sure did.