Ellen Pompeo's Nipples Coming Atcha!

I don't watch "Grey's Anatomy", so I'm not familiar with the big hullaballoo about Ellen Pompeo. I remember seeing her in "Old School" playing a single mom, which is not usually sexy. Which might explain why, even though you can clearly see her nipples through this shirt she's wearing, why it's not doing anything as far as turning me on. But, that's just me. I'm a man of discerning tastes. The sight of nipple is not usually enough to get me going. The nipple itself has to be attached to something that I find appealing. But, I know that most people out there are not as picky when it comes to the nipples that they seek out. So, this one's for you guys (and girls . . . maybe). The picture below is a little better, because it shows less face. Just my opinion though. I don't want the "Ellen Pompeo Fan Club" to write me hate mail. It's not my fault that you're fans of a less-than-hot chick who lucked out and got cast in a "hot" show . . . that only women watch. Kudos on the NHO though. Those things are fierce.

2008 Bikini Mega-Post

Kourtney Kardashian
Holy crap, it's only a couple of days into 2008 and celebrities (well, at least some of them are true celebrities) are out and about in their bikinis. And just where the fuck are these people. Isn't it fucking cold where you are? Yeah, same here. And it's supposed to rain today as well. Anyway, first up is Kim Karda . . . wait? That's a different Kardashian right? Kourtney Kardashian? Whatever. I think this particular Kardashian is famous for being the sister of a chick who is famous for having a big ass and a sex-tape. Oh, and she's also in a ridiculous show on E!. Does it really matter though? She's in a bikini, and I guess that's good enough for BAFW. One more picture of her.



Kelly Brook
I think I'm going to post these pictures in order of relevance. So, Kourtney Kardashian was lowest on the list, so it goes first, and now it's followed by Kelly Brook. Kelly who? She's apparently big in the U.K. for . . . acting? Possibly? I should do some more thorough background checks before posting. But, there is an actual American celebrity hanging out with her. I'm pretty sure they're romantically engaged. Billy Zane can be seen in the picture below. And, he's rocking the Friar Tuck look. Right on Billy Zane. Righteous Piousness!



Christian Milian
Next up is someone you might have heard about. Christina Milian. She's an R&B singer. That's all I have. Here she is, defying the season known as winter, in a bikini, hanging out at the beach. That's pretty much all I have to say about her. She looks OK. I'm not too much into R&B, but it's a popular musical genre, so people might actually be looking for these pictures.



Elisha Cuthbert
And last, but not least, is Elisha Cuthbert. Who happens to have the best set of bikini pictures today. Nevermind that it looks like she picked her bikini in the dark, wearing those bug-eyed sunglasses. And that haircut that just confuses me. The bikini she's wearing lets us take a gander at that awesome Nipple-Hard-On (NHO) she's sporting. NHO's are some of my favorite things to see, so thank you Elisha Cuthbert. I'm also fairly convinced that if you blow up the picture, and study it carefully, you might also get to see some camel-toe. But even if it's not there, you still get the spectacular NHO action.



Bikini'd Cougar Update

Nicollette Sheridan . . . is it time to put some clothes on again? Seriously, grandmother (in the great state of Kentucky) aged ladies should be a little more demure. But here you are, hanging out with the young celebrities, actually managing to look a little better than them. And that would be quite the achievement, if I couldn't get out of my head that you're like 50 something? Or are you already an octogenarian? What is your secret to staying forever young? Is it eating aborted baby fetuses? 'Cause I needs to get me a recipe for that. It's all in the stem cells . . . right? Delicious youth providing stem cells.



Is it me, or does that guy look like he's going to pee on her . . . and she's getting ready for it. And she doesn't mind it. OMG, I think I just turned this site into one of those granny porn sites.

And hey everybody, look, it's Michael Bolton. He's still alive? And banging Nicollette Sheridan? Impressive.

Britney Spears's Gift for XXXmas

What do you do when your little sister steals your weirdo inappropriate limelight? You wear something that technically only qualifies as a t-shirt because it is shaped like one. And you do that while not wearing anything under so that your nipples poke right through. I'm pretty sure you can see areola-definition in these pictures which, I should say, is mighty impressive.

And to make it even better . . . throw in a little down-blouse while you're at it. Why not. Your records are not selling. Might as well keep everyone from forgetting you by showing as much skin without showing it at the same time.

Jessica Alba . . . Perfect?

While I can agree that Jessica Alba is one good looking broad, I'd hardly agree that she is the epitome of womanhood. Yes, she is sexy. Yes, she has a nice body, but something within the equations that these Cambridge mathematicians is not adding up (hehe, did you get that subtle math humor?).

The academics found that it is the ratio between hips and waist that puts the sway into a woman's walk - and the nearer that ratio is to 0.7, the better. This ratio provides the body with the right torso strength to produce a more angular swing and bounce to the hips during the walking motion. Therefore, a woman with a 25in waist and 36in hips would have just the right proportions to carry off a sexy swagger as she walks. The Jessica Alba sashay beat off competition from Kate Moss, Angelina Jolie and even Marilyn Monroe, whose walk along a railway platform in Some Like It Hot is one of the most famous in film history.While Monroe was a fraction off the target ratio with 0.69, the Cambridge team said that Alba had the perfect proportions.

Oh, and just for the hell of it, there's a picture of a Jessica Alba wardrobe malfunction. Why not, right?

EDIT: The nipple is back. Photobucket.com pulled it down earlier today. Just what do they have against nipples?! Are they anti-hot-boobs? That's just ludicrous.

Kate Bosworth is Eating Again

It's good to see people rebounding from rock bottom and starting to look human again. For example, Kate Bosworth, in the pictures in this post, is starting to look normal again. I don't know if you remember her from a few months back. If you don't, you can see an example here which will either freak you out, or get you a solid woody. Until you scroll down, and see what I was talking about, whereupon said woody would totally deflate. Unless you're into anorexic chicks. You could say they're "ribbed for your pleasure". Oh God . . . hold on . . . I just puked in my mouth a little.

But, moving on to the new and improving Kate Bosworth, kudos to you. The bikini is not looking too bad. And we can all give thanks as well for the picture below, which shows full on NHO action (NHO = Nipple Hard On).


And, one more from the back, for all the tiny junk in the trunk fans.