Attack of the Phantom Audio

I have to apologize to any BAFW readers that might have had their ears accosted by this phantom audio that is playing over my blog. I have no idea where it's coming from specifically. I have a good idea that it might be generated by one of the marketing/advertising providers that I have posted up over the good ol' BAFW, I just don't know which one. I have to do a little research and stop that. For now, try to deal with the stream of nigh-incomprehensible gibberish that is pouring out of your computer speakers. If you are hearing it though. Sometimes I come on the site and it's quiet as a mouse that is into being quiet.

I don't Know What Lindsay Lohan is Selling

This is a commercial. Right? For "Fornarina"? What the hell is that? And why doesn't this commercial specify. It's just Lohan speaking in adverbs and adjectives. And she's not looking all that hot while she's doing that either. So, what have we learned? Never buy things from Lindsay Lohan. Because God knows just what the fuck she's talking about. And he ain't telling.

Star Trek Super Bowl Ad

What kind of geek would I be if I didn't post the "Star Trek" Super Bowl ad that ran during said sporting event (that yes, I watched . . . for the most part). It's mostly footage that we've already seen in other trailers and TV spots, but damn does it look good. My wife isn't convinced that this movie will be any good. But, I keep showing her these videos, and slowly she might be going from "I'm sure as hell not going to watch that with you, ever!" to "fine, I'll go if you want me to go, but I won't enjoy it". I know that once I get her in the theater, J.J. Abrams will knock her (and the rest of the audience) on her ass with some sweet Star Trek action. Check out this TV spot and go to Hulu.com for more Super Bowl ads. If you're into commercialism and the such.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Super Bowl Ad

For some odd reason, Hulu.com was missing this from their roster of Super Bowl ads. But, you can always count on Youtube to have it. This is another movie ad that I happened to catch during the Super Bowl that piqued my interest. I had head that Stephen Sommers, of Mummy and Van Helsing infamy, had been working on a G.I. Joe movie, and to tell you the truth, based on his previous work, I wasn't all that excited about it. But now, seeing this amazing 30 or so seconds of footage, I'm leaning towards slightly excited. It could still blow, and this might be the best footage that the movie has to offer, but I'd like to think of myself as an optimist in 2009. So I'm going to give Sommers the benefit of the doubt, and I'll give his little "G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra" movie a shot when it comes out later this year.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Super Bowl Ad

Yes, it looks badass. And yes, I am totally going to see this when it comes out later this year. Say what you will about the script for the first Transformers movie, because, overall, it was a fun time at the theater. That's pretty much all I'm asking for right now from my movies. I don't expect greatness. I just want to be entertained. And it doesn't hurt that Megan Fox is back for another helping of robotic action. What? The ladies get Josh Duhamel and Shia LeBouef. See, this movie has something for everyone. Check out the Super Bowl XLIII ad here, courtesy of Hulu.com. They have all of the Super Bowl ads up there, ready to be streamed and/or embedded into your own websites.

Madonna's Vagina - Purse Endorser

Not sure how, or actually why, the Louis Vuitton company got Madonna's crotch to endorse their handbags. Is anyone seeing this and thinking "Oooh! It's Madonna's panty-covered vag' . . . I need me a new purse!". But hey, I'm not a genius in marketing, but I have a suggestion for their next ad campaign. Maybe don't ransack a museum next time for the freshest looking mummified remains and go with someone that . . . fuck it, anyone else will do. I'm pretty sure this ad will not make Guy Ritchie buy Louis Vuitton shit.

Heidi Klum Sucks at Guitar Hero, Awesome in Commercial

Yes, this commercial for the new "Guitar Hero World Tour" is everywhere lately. Above is the "Director's Cut" of the commercial, it has less shirt, and more Heidi Klum in her bra and panties for your enjoyment. But I have to say, if Heidi Klum were a little better at acting, she would actually be at least trying to play the song on the guitar controller she's playing around with. Not that I'm complaining (too much), but a video game nerd like myself just can't suspend disbelief at the drop of a hat . . . or in this case, at the lack of clothes on a MILF. Yeah, Heidi Klum has had like a ton of kids and she still looks like that. Which is commendable on it's own, but it doesn't excuse her from reality. The lack of gaming prowess is even more evident in the regular, non-director's cut edition of the commercial, which is the one that's getting the most air-time, and hopefully, secretly irking other nerds like myself. Take a look below.

Audrina Patridge Promotes The Only Way She Knows How

Audrina Patridge is really milking her "The Hills" 15 minutes of fame lately. The "reality" star was hired to host a party to promote Bombay Sapphire gin, and of course, she did the only thing she knows to get attention: displaying those fake breasts of hers in a revealing swimsuit. Which, I have to say, is actually rather effective. It's not even 9:30 AM, and I feel like I need a drink. Maybe even some Bombay Sapphire. Oh man, those marketing bastards are geniuses!! Hate to delve into politics right now, but if this is working for Bombay Sapphire, maybe the Democratic Party could hire Audrina Patridge to promote Barack Obama. Just think about it . . . they could lock in the horn-dog votes. Just put her in a red white and blue bikini with Obama's name on the top part and voila! Change just happened. More pictures of Audrina's smart-vertising prowess below.

Blogs are for Wusses Version 2.0

Not sure if you've noticed, but the good ol' BAFW has gone through a bit of an overhaul as of late. Gone is the utterly cluttered sidebar and it has been replaced by a slightly more orderly and infinitely easier to manage one. I had been using the original template with the HTML set-up that was available when I first started this blog in 2005. Since then, Blogger has updated and made it easier to manage things. I learned that when I started up my 2nd blog: The Beard Growth Project. I liked it so much, that after 2 and a half month's worth of procrastination, I updated everything here and I'm liking the new BAFW. I had to start everything from scratch, so you'll notice there are less ads hanging around, but I've kept all the important ones. I had to get rid of the Blogroll link list (I mean, it's there, but I don't like it much), which means I lost a lot of the links that had been previously displayed on the sidebar. I went by memory as to what I had in there, but I'm damn sure I had more there. If you're linking BAFW on your site/blog and your link is currently omitted, let me know so I can add you to the list. Just drop a comment in here. And let me know if this layout is better than the previous one. Anyway, I'm going back to my Sunday relaxation schedule.

The Hottie & The Nottie Poster (Which is Which?)

"The Hottie & The Nottie" is a movie which I've never heard about until today. From the looks of it, it's gotta be a science fiction movie. That's the only way I can fathom Paris Hilton being cast in the role of the "Hottie". And apparently, based on the makeup applied to the "Nottie", they've cast a zombie opposite her to help make her look more appealing. Way to go Hollywood.

Winona Ryder Sex Tape

"The Ten" is a pretty hilarious looking movie which I heard about a few months ago. And, I'm still not sure when it's coming out. But I do know this. Winona Ryder gets it on with a puppet. That makes for some good comedy right there. It's not as graphic as I would like it, but you have to agree that this is a pretty good marketing technique. So, keep an eye out for this movie when it hits theaters. Unless it already has, in which case, what are you doing wasting your time here?

Quick Edit - Ah, so the movie came and went, and it's going to be released on DVD this January. Here's the trailer. Remember, I did the above as a goof.

American Apparel French Ad

The French are naturally crazy. American Apparel is a clothing company known for it's borderline soft-core risque ad campaigns. So, what happens when the French and American Apparel smack into each other. Well, the above should be the answer. Not only is there a blatant (but I wouldn't say unwelcome) boobie flash, but if you continue to study the picture (pervert) you're also subjected to a pretty intense camel-toe. Touche French people, touche.

Eva Long-toe-ria Strikes Back

I'm not into Eva Longoria. I am of the personal belief that if it takes a small army of make-up artists, waxers, and ear plugs to make this woman bearable . . . it's not worth it. She doesn't have that "looks great when she wakes up" look that I am fortunate to wake up next to every morning. But, that said, she is fairly popular, and she is in a bikini showing an awful lot of camel-toe, from the rear. So, it's only post-worthy because of that. This could be some sort of meta-nouveau-marketing strategy for the upcoming season of "Desperate Housewives". And it's sort of working because I've typed the name of that show in this post, which will end up on a search engine somewhere, therefore raising awareness for that dumb-ass soap that airs when good shows should. You've won this round Longoria.

EDIT: Now, with more butt-crack.

New Blog Additions

oIn an effort to keep things fresh around here, there are a couple of new additions that have been made within the last week or so to this blog. I don't know if you've noticed them, but this post should set that right.

Brown Turtle, fine purveyor of quality funny t-shirts has been added to the growing list of business I am affiliated with. You can either visit their website by finding their provocative banner advert on the side panel, or by clicking on the link below.



Also calling BAFW home these days is a widget from Buzzfeed, which channels content to this blog, just in case whatever you find here is outdated or . . . well, just plain boring. There's always something going on in that website, and BAFW had the "Sideboob Buzz" locked down until a couple of weeks ago. Nothing lasts forever though.



Via BuzzFeed

Feel free to use these new things . . . a lot. Specially if it's going to make me money. Cash money. I'm not rich biatch!

A Reason to Watch "Weeds"

If you don't subscribe to Showtime, then after seeing this advertisement for the show "Weeds", you should place a call to your cable/satellite provider and pay for it. "Just based on this ad?" you ask. Yes. The show itself is great. It's one of my favorites. And Mary Louise Parker is one hot MILF. But the show had a great first season, which only got better on its second season, and this third season should be great as well. Trust me. Watch it.

Opening Weekend Movies - 7/13/07

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - More like "Harry Potter and the Impossibly long Title for a Movie". Why don't they just call it "Harry Potter 5", or use the Roman numeral "V"? It worked wonders for that one "Rocky" movie. But, the movie is still opening this weekend with that title, and of course, everyone is going to go watch it. I'm not. I don't think I've ever watched a single Harry Potter movie straight through. I always catch bits and pieces of them. And no, you fucking perverts, not the "good parts" featuring Hermione Granger in semi-sexy situations. You need help by the way.

Captivity - This movie's advertising campaign, featuring Elisha Cuthbert (who also stars in the movie . . . duh), came under fire some months ago because it portrayed the young actress in the act of dying in several situations. I thought it was genius. But, you know America. But, the movie is coming out, and aside from that interesting side note in advertising history, it doesn't look all that amazing. Just your run-of-the-mill "killer keeping a couple of people chained in his basement while he tortures them and eventually kills them . . . or not?" type of movie.

Smart-Vertising - Apple Taunts Vista

I love these Apple commercials. I'm just a Mac-geek I guess. And it's not just some un-warranted shot at the process of upgrading Vista. My step-father is thinking about updating his computer so he can run the new operating system and it's most likely going to cost him in the 4 - 5 hundred dollar range. Also, the ad below is another clever way of pointing out just why Apple is better than PCs.

Boston I Love You, But You're Freaking Me Out

Those nefarious raggamuffins responsible for the "terrorist" scare in Boston have been rounded up . . . and it turns out . . . they have some hair issues. These two guys are my new heroes. Here they are, in a press conference outside of the court house were they were arraigned, just fucking with people. And the FOX news channel does not seem to like it. Come on FOX, you bring the funny to America every Saturday night with Mad TV. You get the joke, right? Actually, Mad TV's not all that funny. I guess FOX wouldn't get it. As you watch this, pay close attention to the reporters who start firing off questions with a fairly palpable tone of indignation. This is like Christmas in February. And below is a video of them putting up the magnetic light signs all over the city.

They do look scary. Specially that 2-D middle finger being pointed at you. You better watch out, because Ignignot is doing that as hard as he can.



UPDATE



When reputable news organizations start linking me . . . then you know the world is turned upside down. Check out their professional coverage here. Thanks guys. LOL.

ATHF Scares Boston . . . World Laughs

Boston . . . Why you gotta be such a pussy? If you hadn't heard, it seems that Cartoon Network's marketing campaign scared the bejeebus out of the city of Boston this week. They mistook some magnetic light boxes with terrorist bombs, and now the city is all up in arms about it. Can't they just laugh it off? I mean, there was nothing dangerous about it. The only danger is your frigging paranoia people. Here's a link to the story which tells you more about what happened. I could go into detail, but I'm too busy LOL'ing and ROFL'ing too type much more than this. I can end the post with this though . . . Mooninites rock! Pull down Boston's pants and spank them with moon rocks fellas.

TuGMO - Valued Production Values

This video is a little on the well produced side, except for that Adobe insignia. What's up with that? But, it gives you what you want to see. And that is . . . two hot girls kissing, groping, caressing, showing off a little of the panties, and this time around . . . it's not just 19 seconds of bliss. Yes, this one's pushing just past the two minute mark. Please feel free to view it multiple times. Do keep some paper towels handy though. That keyboard should really not be getting any whiter.

Oh, and hey, here's a clever idea. Patronize my sponsored links and banner ads. But don't do it in a patronizing way. Be cool about it. That's my advertising approach of the week.