Post # 1500! Brought to you by Boobs!

I wanted to do something special for my fifteenth hundredth (looks more regal when you spell it out), but I figured boobs would be special enough. Lucy Pinder and Sophie Howard are U.K. models that pretty much live to show their tits in print and around the interwebs. I had no idea when I started this blog thing that I would end up posting naked pictures of chicks for your viewing pleasure. Oh well, things tend to evolve and change over time. I remember when this was just a place where I would tell funny stories or show pictures that made me laugh my ass off (aka LMAO). Now, it's a den of depravity which I'm pretty sure is contributing to the decline of mankind as a whole. Anyway, I'm going to stop waxing nostalgic now. Here are a couple of more choice pictures of these two models, getting all cozy and touchy-feely with each other.



These pictures come courtesy of "Nuts" magazine, which, judging by it's content, must have received lots of nuts all over it's pages over the course of its publishing history . . . what? It's called a pun. Deal with it.

China Chow Topless with Keanu Reeves

There's not much that I remember about 1998's "The Big Hit", other than China Chow being held captive for most of the movie in a school girl outfit. It's now 10 years later, and here she is, topless with Keanu Reeves. Although I would have preferred to see this then, rather than now, I won't complain too much. Although, seeing Keanu topless is not all that fun. Put a shirt on already. Here's some more topless action, sans Keanu.

Thumbs up for boobs!

Angelina Jolie - Topless and Blurry

I know you've probably seen Angelina Jolie nude in the past. Most likely on your hi-def TV. She shows some skin in pretty much every other movie she makes. But, these pictures are from real life. And life can be blurry sometimes. Just ask Hans Moleman. What is that you say? He's a fictional character from "The Simpsons"? . . . So's your face!

I'm not quite sure why Angelina Jolie decided to change clothes on her balcony, but hey, what the heck right? One more blurry pic below. It even has a little armpit action for people who are into that sort of stuff. I know you're out there. Pit-sniffers . . .

Sienna Miller Accidental Bikini Nip-Slip Evolves

Sienna Miller, famous actress for I don't know what exactly, was frolicking at the beach when this little accidental nip-slip happened. But, this is Sienna Miller, so a nip-slip really wouldn't suffice for her. It's nice that she's always trying to improve things, which brings us to the picture below. Same day, different location, probably still at the beach, but now, Sienna has completely removed the top half of her bikini. She turned an accidental nip-slip into a full on topless incident. If that's not proof of evolution, I don't know what is.

Heidi Montag "Topless" in Maxim

In the realm of attention-whoring wastes of space, you can't compete with Heidi Montag. Who else has pretty much every aspect of their life be something that is fabricated and tailored to be one giant publicity machine. Everything from the fake "reality" show she's on, to the fake relationship she has, to her now fake body. She has become a complete media-whore . . . and I don't think she's ready to stop this. And now, there's this Maxim issue that comes out in February (or now, I don't know, I haven't picked up a Maxim in close to half a decade), where she's topless . . . but not really. Sure, at one point in time, she actually is not wearing a top, but she's still covering it up. I get that it's Maxim and not Playboy. I know the difference, but if she's going to commit to actually show up on print, not wearing a top, then she might as well go all the way. Why get fake breasts in the first place, right? More pictures of Heidi below this paragraph. They're OK, if you're into chicks with no soul and granny panties.

Kelly Brook Topless

Remember that bikini mega post from a couple of days ago? When I said that I didn't know what Kelly Brook does, but she was in a bikini and hanging out with a super-bald Billy Zane? Well, I still don't know what she's doing as far as why anyone would care who she is. But, there's a twist. Now, she's topless at the beach. And there's no Billy Zane in sight, so feel free to whip it out, because there's no way you're going to accidentally masturbate to a picture that has Billy Zane in it. Unless you want to. Which is weird. Why the fuck would you want to do that? Get help, seriously. One more picture, to help me wipe that image out of my head. *shakes head*

Sienne Miller Topless

I know, if you're anything like me, then you're saying to yourself "What? Again? I wish I could go through one day without seeing her semi-nude". It's the truth though. Apart from being Jude Law's ex-girlfriend and being in a couple of movies no one has seen, Sienna Miller spends her days making sure the paparazzi see her without clothes, or wearing underwear out in public like she's some sort of super-hero whore. I mean, common, enough is enough. I think she's in some sort of "shock and awe" campaign to woo the American movie audience . . . with nudity. Not in films. So, um . . maybe it's not the American movie audience that she's looking for. Maybe she wants the pervert demographic.

Whatever it is, enjoy the picture before Photobucket decides to take it down. They're such prudes about things like this.

Rebecca Gayheart Topless . . . butterface?

I haven't thought that Rebecca Gayheart has been hot for quite some time now. I think I might have had a hard on for this chick ten years ago, after she quit doing Noxema commercials or whatever and made a jump to television. I remember her from that show "Earth 2", which lasted for about 1 season. Since then, she's been in a ton of other shows, but never for long. Maybe it's a testament to how good she's at it, but lately, as she's been getting older, she's not maturing like a fine wine. More like a piece of pork that was left out in the summer sun. But, topless pictures are topless pictures (you like my logic?), so I'm posting these up. I guess the cans are looking OK, but some of the faces this chick makes while the pictures are being taken make her look like Butthead from the "Beavis and Butthead" show, but hot because of the naked funbags. It's a bit of a dilemma as to how you're going to jack-off to these pictures (I know you're going to . . . pervert), but I guess you could scroll just past the head, and concentrate on the neck down. You gotta do what you gotta do right?

Cindy Crawford - Topless Blast from the Past

What's with supermodels from the past getting naked recently? First Claudia Schiffer and Heidi Klum, now Cindy Crawford. It must be some sort of cougar renaissance going on. But, unlike her other two ex-super hottie contemporaries, Cindy Crawford shows us the goods for free. Because she's from America. The land of the free. These pictures were taken by the paparazzi while Cindy was vacationing in St. Tropez, and you can see she still looks pretty good in a bikini. I mean . . . for an old chick. I'm just glad that she's not maturing like a zombie like Sharon Stone is. Yeegh!


But, as people do when they think that no one is watching with a telephoto camera lens, Cindy Crawford decided to go for the "no-tan-lines" look and slipped her bikini top off. I don't blame her. I've got this unsightly farmer's tan. I guess I need to go to St. Tropez to even myself out. Back to Crawford . . . I'm sure there are a ton more pictures out there, but this is really what you're looking for.


Because I'm feeling generous, one extra bikini picture, which makes her husband/boyfriend/piece of man-meat look a little on the tubby side. Haha, suck it in fatty!


*Click on the pictures to make them bigger

Petra Nemcova Topless

So . . . this what gay guys do with super models? They put some weird pants on them, wrap a lasso around their heads, and scribble shit on them and call it fashion. Not that I don't appreciate a topless woman, it's just that the whole body scribbling confuses me. It looks like she might have fallen asleep during a party and people just started drawing all over her. I'm still waiting to find her sharpied on moustache and a foot long penis drawing on her arm. Note to fashion designers: Thanks for the tits, but work on your fashion sense. Seriously, this is ridiculous. One more picture of Petra Nemcova, doing one of her "fiercest" turns . . . ever. Fierce!

Britney Spears Topless . . . Sorta?

Technically, she is topless. But she's not showing much of anything. She's got those stupid flowers covering what counts the most. What you people are looking for. Yeah, that's right . . . the nipples. So, this could just be categorized as Britney Spears being a jackass. Which is pretty much what she does all the time.


I like how she cocks her head to one side. Like a confused puppy.

Sienna Miller Hangs Out

Sienna Miller, star of that "Factory Girl" movie nobody saw, and generally famous for dating, then breaking up with, then dating again, and then breaking up with Jude Law who fucked their babysitter while they were together (convoluted?) is seen in these pictures hanging out topless at a beach. It would also appear that Cousin It from the Addam's Family has gotten a haircut and shaved, and is also hanging out with Sienna on said beach. And why is this news? Um . . . I don't know. She's barely a celebrity. Her cans are not that spectacular. If she could be replaced with say Natalie Portman (if you're shooting for the stars) or Olivia Munn (if we're going for same celebrity level) in these pictures and you replace Mr. Longhair McManly with say . . . me . . . or a clone of Natalie Portman and/or Olivia Munn, things would be better. But, we're talking perfect world scenarios here. We all know the world ain't perfect, and this is all we have to work with. Once poverty and war and all the other terrible things in this world are wiped out, then we'll be able to see topless beach pictures of our favorite celebs. Get crackin' world. I'm not waiting forever for this.

Paris Hilton Exposed (Nothing New)

Oh Paris Hilton. It's not even the end of January and you've already shown us 2 instances of your nipples. This one comes courtesy of the brand spanking new site ParisExposed.com which promises to expose Paris. Why they would want to do that is beyond me. I'm pretty positive that she's been doing a bang up job at exposing herself already. She definitely does not need the help of a website to do that. What is interesting, though, is that all the content of that site was obtained when Paris forgot to pay a $200-ish bill for a storage locker, of which all of the contents where promptly auctioned to the highest bidder. You can pay $39.97/month to view all of the content (which includes - diary entries, more pictures of sexy (?) situations and rampant drug use). Or, you could just go out the street and look to your left. Paris will most likely be lying on her back, letting a dog hump her face while a crowd of school children gathers around her. She's classy like that.

And yes, that is "Girls Gone Wild" empresario Joe Francis helping her get exposed.

Nipple-Topia - American Beauty?

Some chicks should leave some things up to our imaginations. Mena Suvari is a pretty good example of this. Up until today, I had thought that her cans might have looked ok. Last I saw them, it was in "American Beauty", and I don't remember them looking as conical (and comical) as they do in these topless pictures. I mean, those kind of look like they belong on a just blossoming girl who's going through puberty. Now, that was her character in that movie. Maybe she's stuck in that mindset. She does look awfully young in these pictures. A little on the creepy-young side. Kinda makes you feel like a pervert. Damn you Mena Suvari! Get some rose petals and cover those up.

Danish Speed Traps

Wow, those friggin Danishes (?) have done the unthinkable. Well, maybe the unfathomable. Ok, just outside of my wildest dreams. It looks like they have recruited a bevy of topless "bikini" speeding enforcers to help cut down on the rampant speeding that the people of Denmark are so fond of. Now, this video might just be a joke. I mean, one of the officials goes by the hilariously subtle name of "Bent Koch Hansen". So, while this might not be entirely true . . . I does make you wonder if this type of stuff would happen. In a perfect world. *sigh*