Denise Richards: It's Camel-Toe

I don't follow Denise Richards's career any longer. She used to be a big star back in the late 90's and early 00's, but now, she just has that show on cable "Denise Richards: It's Complicated" and it looks like a total snooze fest. If I had sleep deprivation problems, I might tune in to pass out, but you can ask my wife. I don't have that. I'm borderline narcoleptic sometimes. But now I'm deviating from the topic at hand, or, the topic at crotch if you will. While completely uninteresting to me in a professional sense, she does still have a slight camel-toe in the picture above, so now it's post-worthy. Enjoy the pic, and the one below, which is more a showcase of her bikini wearing abilities than the one above. I have to say, for no longer being a spring chicken, she's not looking terrible.

Megan Fox in Sexiest Sweatpants Ever

To the untrained eye, Megan Fox in sweatpants wouldn't be much more desirable than Megan Fox in a painted-on micro-dress/skirt. But around here, we look at the details. I know that at first glance that picture above of Megan Fox just looks alright, but if you focus in on the crotch area, you'll get to see a fully realized and well defined camel toe. It's there alright, and it almost looks like her moose-knuckle (for all the Canadian readers) is trying to fight it's way out of those sweatpants. The picture below has a better look, and what might appear to be sudden realization of her wardrobe misstep followed by shame. Or, it might have just been really really sunny that day. Make your own conclusions.

Audrina Patridge Shops for Bikini in a Bikini

It would seem that every time I post something about "The Hills" "star", Audrina Patridge, she's in a bikini. So, it should be no surprise to me that she would be wearing a bikini while shopping for a bikini. I know she most likely resides in Southern California, but seriously, it's motherfucking December and she's still walking around wearing a two-piece swimsuit. It's cold out and this chick has no sub-cutaneous layer whatsoever. What was that? Maybe she was wearing clothes to the store and was then photographed in a bikini at the store? Sure buddy. Have you seen "The Hills"? Reason is not part of the equation there. But fine, I'll entertain that thought while you entertain yourself(ves) with these pictures. I know what you do in your mother's basement. The picture below has some faint camel-toe action as well. Think of it as an early Christmas present.

Jennifer Aniston - Bikini Cleavage & Cameltoe

I can say, with 100% assurance, that I've never really been into Jennifer Aniston. Not even when she was younger and less man-faced looking. She's just never done it for me. That's not to say that she doesn't have a huge following outside of BAFW. That's pretty much the main reason I'm posting this up. It's not for me. It's for you. So enjoy this little gift. Consider it an early Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza present for you. I do have to say that she's being rather generous in what she's showing lately. For a broad that's not a spring chicken anymore, she does take care of her body rather well. Below are pictures of her displaying (rather unsuspectingly) her cleavage and a pretty well defined camel toe.

Selma Blair: Scowl-kini

I'm not quite sure why Selma Blair is looking so upset lately. She's co-starring in a pretty well reviewed and well received sequel in the "Hellboy" franchise, has a new show called "Kath & Kim" (which is where these pictures were taken from) premiering this new fall season on a network channel that is completely eluding my memory at this time, is a celebrity and naturally has more money than most of us (definitely more than what's in BAFW's Google Ads account). So then, why is she looking so despondent in that bikini? It's not flattering. I guess she figured these pictures would end up all over the internet, still being talked about and posted up days after their initial release by smart-aleck-y bloggers. Sorry Selma, around here, BAFW is part of the problem, not part of the solution. Just don't look at BAFW like in the picture below . . ever. It actually kind of scares me.

If we mention the camel-toe, will she kill us?

Claire Danes Skinny Bikini

I'm pretty sure I know how bikinis work. The top is supposed to be filled with breasts . . . but Claire Danes seems to have another idea. All she's got in there is nipples. Didn't she used to have breasts? Either she's lost a lot of weight, or had a double mastectomy. Whatever the case might be, here are a couple more pictures of her, and one even has potential camel-toe action . . . if she could fill out the bikini bottom enough. Such a wasted opportunity.

Bikini-Star Galactica

"Battlestar Galactica" is one of my favorite shows. Period. Everything about the show, from the writing to the acting to dramatic scenes to the full blown space sci-fi action is pitch-perfect. And they have some hot ass robot babes to boot. So, here they are. Two Cylons and a human (at least for now) cast members have stripped their flight suits and slipped into bikinis for a photoshoot. I don't know what the publication is, and to tell you the truth, I don't care much. It's just a shame that "Battlestar Galactica" is ending with its fourth season. I'm going to miss the show. Enjoy the pictures and check out the show, airing tonight on the Sci-Fi Channel. Check your local listings for times. What the fuck do I look like, your own personal TV Guide.







Many thanks to Grace Park, Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer for putting in great performances on the show. Kudos on the camel-toes as well. The science fiction fanbase should go nuts for these pictures.

Amy Smart Almost Topless for Crank Sequel

"Crank" was a great movie. Fun-filled action that never let up until the end, when Jason Statham's character croaked. So, it only makes sense that there would be a "Crank" sequel, still starring Jason Statham and Amy Smart . . . What? He died in the last movie, right? In any case, logic placed aside, if the "Crank" sequel requires a scene with Amy Smart in nothing other than underwear bottoms and tape over her nipples . . . then I'm in. I don't care what crazy plot device they use to make us forget about the death of the main character in both films. Oh, and I'd also like to mention that I hate the guy who has the job of applying the nipple-tape on Amy Smart. What a bastard. Did he need to get a degree for that? He's just a lucky production assistant. I guess it eventually pays off. All that coffee and snacks fetching was for something. OK, I don't hate him. It's all envy.


One more picture below, this one has some camel-toe action. And more Jason Statham. For the ladies.

Thanks to Egotastic for finding these pictures . . . and watermarking them, forcing me to do the right thing and link back to them. More pictures available there by the way. Check them out. It's OK that they're Canadian. That's like our 51st state, right?

Sienna Miller Bikini Update . . Now with More Cameltoe

Every time I post something about Sienna Miller, I feel like I'm beating a dead horse. I mean, is there any part of this woman that we haven't seen naked or on the verge of being naked? Probably not, but it is escaping my memory if we've seen any camel-toe action from her recently. Which explains why I'm posting the picture above. It's somewhat nice to see that Miller has gotten the hang of the whole bikini thing. Not like yesterday, when that just kept falling off or she kept removing it herself. So, there you go camel-toe lovers. Never say I don't do anything for you.

Hayden Panettiere - Puppies and Camel Toes

I really haven't posted anything Hayden Panettiere related in a while. Mostly because the show that made her famous, "Heroes", probably won't come back until this fall TV season due to the writer's strike that crippled Hollywood for 2 months or so. She's currently working on a film called "Fireflies in the Garden", which should be retitled to "Camel Toes in the Sweatpants" . . . because I'd rather pay 10 bucks to see that. Oh, and she's also holding a puppy, which is adorable. How did she know what my two favorite things in the world are?? Are you trying to send me secret messages Hayden Panettiere? *wink*

2008 Bikini Mega-Post

Kourtney Kardashian
Holy crap, it's only a couple of days into 2008 and celebrities (well, at least some of them are true celebrities) are out and about in their bikinis. And just where the fuck are these people. Isn't it fucking cold where you are? Yeah, same here. And it's supposed to rain today as well. Anyway, first up is Kim Karda . . . wait? That's a different Kardashian right? Kourtney Kardashian? Whatever. I think this particular Kardashian is famous for being the sister of a chick who is famous for having a big ass and a sex-tape. Oh, and she's also in a ridiculous show on E!. Does it really matter though? She's in a bikini, and I guess that's good enough for BAFW. One more picture of her.



Kelly Brook
I think I'm going to post these pictures in order of relevance. So, Kourtney Kardashian was lowest on the list, so it goes first, and now it's followed by Kelly Brook. Kelly who? She's apparently big in the U.K. for . . . acting? Possibly? I should do some more thorough background checks before posting. But, there is an actual American celebrity hanging out with her. I'm pretty sure they're romantically engaged. Billy Zane can be seen in the picture below. And, he's rocking the Friar Tuck look. Right on Billy Zane. Righteous Piousness!



Christian Milian
Next up is someone you might have heard about. Christina Milian. She's an R&B singer. That's all I have. Here she is, defying the season known as winter, in a bikini, hanging out at the beach. That's pretty much all I have to say about her. She looks OK. I'm not too much into R&B, but it's a popular musical genre, so people might actually be looking for these pictures.



Elisha Cuthbert
And last, but not least, is Elisha Cuthbert. Who happens to have the best set of bikini pictures today. Nevermind that it looks like she picked her bikini in the dark, wearing those bug-eyed sunglasses. And that haircut that just confuses me. The bikini she's wearing lets us take a gander at that awesome Nipple-Hard-On (NHO) she's sporting. NHO's are some of my favorite things to see, so thank you Elisha Cuthbert. I'm also fairly convinced that if you blow up the picture, and study it carefully, you might also get to see some camel-toe. But even if it's not there, you still get the spectacular NHO action.



Bikini'd Cougar Update

Nicollette Sheridan . . . is it time to put some clothes on again? Seriously, grandmother (in the great state of Kentucky) aged ladies should be a little more demure. But here you are, hanging out with the young celebrities, actually managing to look a little better than them. And that would be quite the achievement, if I couldn't get out of my head that you're like 50 something? Or are you already an octogenarian? What is your secret to staying forever young? Is it eating aborted baby fetuses? 'Cause I needs to get me a recipe for that. It's all in the stem cells . . . right? Delicious youth providing stem cells.



Is it me, or does that guy look like he's going to pee on her . . . and she's getting ready for it. And she doesn't mind it. OMG, I think I just turned this site into one of those granny porn sites.

And hey everybody, look, it's Michael Bolton. He's still alive? And banging Nicollette Sheridan? Impressive.

American Apparel French Ad

The French are naturally crazy. American Apparel is a clothing company known for it's borderline soft-core risque ad campaigns. So, what happens when the French and American Apparel smack into each other. Well, the above should be the answer. Not only is there a blatant (but I wouldn't say unwelcome) boobie flash, but if you continue to study the picture (pervert) you're also subjected to a pretty intense camel-toe. Touche French people, touche.

Alicia Keys Wears Interesting Pants

Alicia Keys went to an awards show in Barcelona, Spain, wearing pants that look like they came with a built in camel-toe to help cement her claim that she's not manly at all. There's no penis in that crotch. I mean, come on, with a camel-toe like that, how could there be? Right? I'm not fooled though. Sure, sometimes Alicia Keys looks feminine, but she's not getting by this easily. I don't care if those pants make it look like her vagina is trying to eat her pants. I'll still be skeptical. One more picture, for the camel-toe enthusiasts.

Anna Kournikova Bikini w/Camel-toe Pics

It's been a rather boring week in the world. Everyone's talking about Britney Spears and her children, and that's just a big yawn for me. So, since there's nothing better to post about right now, here are some pictures of Russian tennis star Anna Kournikova. Or is it Russian ex-tennis star. Does she even play anymore? She's got enough money from whatever endorsement deals she had going on while she was still active that she can spend years running around in bikinis and banging Enrique Iglesias. So . . . I guess that answers that question. The picture below you can see a little bit of a lop-sided dromedary-crotch action . . . or for the lay-persons . . . a camel-toe. It's not all that well defined, but if you squint really hard, and maybe use your imagination a little bit, it's there. All you need to do is believe. And be a pervert.

Feel free to click on the pictures to expand them.

Vanessa Hudgens Camel Toe

Vanessa Hudgens was spotted recently at a beach, hanging out in a bikini with her lesbian love interest, Zac Efron. What? He's a dude? I thought he was just a really flat lipstick lesbian. Oh well. Anyway, if you scroll past all of these unnecessary words you'll get to what this post is all about. The camel toe. Hopefully, these pictures will not be taken down at the behest of the Hudgens Legal Team, because, while intrusive, they're really not that inappropriate. I would even venture to say that they are "work safe". But who am I to judge. Just as your immediate supervisor if they're OK with you looking at barely legal camel toe action. If they say yes, then right on. If they say no, you better get back to those TPS reports.

Eva Long-toe-ria Strikes Back

I'm not into Eva Longoria. I am of the personal belief that if it takes a small army of make-up artists, waxers, and ear plugs to make this woman bearable . . . it's not worth it. She doesn't have that "looks great when she wakes up" look that I am fortunate to wake up next to every morning. But, that said, she is fairly popular, and she is in a bikini showing an awful lot of camel-toe, from the rear. So, it's only post-worthy because of that. This could be some sort of meta-nouveau-marketing strategy for the upcoming season of "Desperate Housewives". And it's sort of working because I've typed the name of that show in this post, which will end up on a search engine somewhere, therefore raising awareness for that dumb-ass soap that airs when good shows should. You've won this round Longoria.

EDIT: Now, with more butt-crack.

Friday Special - Jenny McCarthy Camel-toe

You know, I remember a time when I thought Jenny McCarthy was just hot as can be. For a while there, she went through a bit of a fugly period, but I'm glad to see the old Jenny McCarthy coming back. She's looking pretty good in a bikini in these pictures, and that camel-toe she's got on display is actually helping her looks. Methinks someone will be having a bit of a acting renaissance if they keep this up. Hopefully, it won't be like John Travolta's from the late '90's. He showed great promise when "Pulp Fiction" was released. Then, Scientology fucked him up. So, moral of the story. More camel-toe, less pseudo-religious quackery.

Brooke Hogan Continues Being Ladylike

A few weeks ago, I posted some ridiculous pictures of Brooke Hogan performing at a concert (if you could call her performances "concerts") wearing something just plain retarded. Being a failed history major myself, I know that history tends to repeat itself, which is why Brooke Hogan is at it again with the weird legless jeans . . . but this time, she changes it up with fishnet stockings and a vest. It's like she's ready to go out to the President's Ball. But, don't tell her dad I said anything about this. The last thing I need right now is Hulk Hogan knocking on my door, looking to kick my ass. One more picture below, with a little camel-toe action. If you have the stomach for it. I think Brooke straddles the fine line between chick and dude.