Box Office Report - It's Clobbering Time-ish!

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Yes, despite looking just marginally better than the first movie of this franchise, this movie managed to stretch it's way into the top spot for the box office numbers for the weekend. But, it doesn't look as spectacular as other comic book inspired movies, like last month's "Spider-Man 3". It didn't even make half as much as that movie made. But, it's a win for Marvel. Let's just hope that they can start putting out good comic book movies instead of shit like "Ghost Rider", this movie, and "Spider-Man 3".

Ocean's Thirteen - Last week's number one gets bumped down to number 2, but that doesn't mean it's not making a ton of money still. Although, I wonder, with so many big names, just how much money does this movie need to make before it covers just their salaries. It's made just under $70 million so far. I just would like to know how much they payed Al Pacino, Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and George Clooney combined.

Knocked Up - I'm really happy to see this movie performing as well as it is. Even though it's never held the coveted "#1 Movie in America" title, it's still going strong in it's 3rd week of release and closing in on the $100 million mark. I believe it even outperformed "Ocean's Thirteen", being that it only made $2 million less than that movie but it was being screen on a considerably less number of screens across the nation. Well done Judd Apatow and crew.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - What more can I say about this movie . . . other than it has made $250+ million for Disney, which they will most likely use to fund another crap-tacular movie. Most likely an animated one, based on this movie, because they need to milk this dead horse for as long as possible. Whatever. Does anyone even care about Jack Sparrow or any other character in this story?

Surf's Up - And profits are down. Maybe this will teach Hollywood that we're finally sick and tired of the fucking penguins. Give them a rest. Make a motherfucking manatee movie. Change it up people. Just because one idea worked, a couple of times, doesn't mean that it will forever. Even the penguins (the real ones not the CGI'd ones) on your promos for the film groaned about another penguin movie being released. If your advertising campaign is tired of the genre, it's time to move on.

Box Office Report - "The Nose Plays"

Ocean's Thirteen - It does not surprise me to see that this movie is taking the top spot this past weekend. I mean, it's pretty much got every single great Hollywood actor in it. It's just a great combination when it comes to making money. But, I'm still holding out on actually watching it.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - I am boycotting this movie as well. Just because it pisses me off that this movie has already made as much money as it has. It really shouldn't have. The last one wasn't even entertaining. Plus, that whole "every single pirate vs. the evil trading company and octopus face" just seems straight up boring.

Knocked Up - I did watch this movie. I did love it. I'm glad it has made over 60 million because these people need to keep making these types of movies. Quality comedies that aren't hindered by a PG13 rating.

Surf's Up - This is the kind of movie that makes me want to see penguins extinct already. What's next Hollywood . . . Penguins doing their taxes? Penguins acting raunchy? Oh wait, that one has already happened. Let the penguins rest. Move over to polar bears. Anything.

Shrek the Third - More like "Shrek the Turd". This is what's wrong with movies these days. This movie looks absolutely terrible, yet . . . it's made a ton of cash already. And Dreamworks won't stop churning these turds out unless you, as a viewing public, quit going to these movies. Just how many Shreks and Scary Movies do we need? Fuck you for making this happen.

Box Office Report - Da Booty

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - The third PotC movie makes a big splash on the big screen as it takes the top spot for the second time in a row, despite a meteoric drop in proceeds. Still, number one is number one right? Those guys at Disney must be shitting bricks made out of solid gold. But, is the movie any good? I don't know. I refuse to go watch this. Fuck-a-pirates.

Knocked Up - This movie did incredibly well this past weekend during it's opening run, making just under 30 million and nabbing the highest per-screen average of any other movie this past weekend. This bodes well for more Judd Apatow helmed movies, which is good. I'm planning on catching this movie tomorrow. Don't spoil it for me.

Shrek the Third - The green ogre keeps making money for Dreamworks, as the movie crosses the quarter of a billion dollar mark this past weekend. I don't know why parents keep taking their kids to see this movie? It looks terrible. Just how many fart jokes are you willing to subject your progeny to?

Mr. Brooks - This movie I had seen trailers for but it did not really interest me much. Kevin Costner is not a big draw for me. But at least he's not directing this one. Otherwise, it'd be 4+ hours long and instead of being a killer, he'd be an American Indian from the future who is trying to stay afloat in an ocean world . . . while pretending to not be a killer.

Spider-Man 3 - It's the weekend of trilogies. Three out of the top 5 are all #3 movies. This one, the first third picture in a series that I saw, thoroughly disappointed me. I don't care that the CG was some of the best I've seen ever in the Spider-Man franchise. I don't care that it ties up loose ends. It just feels like too much movie which spends its time either showing someone crying or meandering in a direction-less plot that feels like a Kevin Costner directed movie.

Opening Weekend Movies - 5/24/07

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - The third movie in the PotC trilogy, the only way to make movies these days it would seem, promises to be action packed with piratey goodness and tons of CG effects . . . which is great if the story were not so ridiculously dragged out. But, unlike the last movie, which resolved nothing, this one might actually wrap things up nicely and finally put the nail in the pirate coffin. But, if this movie does well, and makes "Spider-Man 3" like opening numbers, expect to see "Pirates of the Caribbean: Sneaking into your Wallets" in 2010.

Bug - The other movie that opens this weekend is a bit more on the interesting side. It stars Ashley Judd as a woman that begins to become paranoid that bugs are crawling underneath her skin. Also notable . . . not a single pirate character in the movie. That should be a plus for anyone that is burnt out on that stuff. This sounds like a very interesting movie. Too bad I won't go watch it. A few factors come into play as to why I won't go watch this. One, I'm working straight through Tuesday. Two, the price of movie tickets does not justify going to watch a movie unless I really really really want to see it. And three, we're in save money mode for our upcoming vacation in 5 days.

Indie Recommendation

Paprika - This movie is opening up in selected theaters. A few months ago I posted a rather impressive trailer for this Anime film. You should go watch it. I know that the plot involving a dream detective trying to track down someone who is using a device to invade people's dreams sounds ludicrous, but the animation looks gorgeous and you can almost guarantee plenty of seats available. Check out your local indie theater and enjoy this visual experience.