Megan Fox Bikini Pics from GQ

I'm sure you've seen the Megan Fox lingerie pics from Maxim, but those were recycled old pictures from like 3 years ago. These, on the other hand, are brand new. Thanks GQ. Which is why I hadn't bothered to post the Maxim spread. But, it can be argued that old Megan Fox and new Megan Fox pictures still feature Megan Fox, so it's all good . . . . right? Wrong. I don't like to dwell in the past. I live in the now. And these new pictures, as you will see in a few seconds, are far superior. Just look at her, she's got a cherry in her mouth. Sexual innuendos anyone? She does tend to overuse her mouth in these pictures, but you can't hold that against her. I mean, would you? Hot chick that has an oral fixation? There's no way that's a negative in my book. Anyway, enjoy the rest of the pics.

Elisha Cuthbert Sideboob Could've Been More

Looking at the picture, it's a pretty decent sideboob. But, Elisha Cuthbert's recent pictorial in Maxim could have been so much more. If only she didn't have arms or legs to hide those boobs . . . Wait, that would be kind of weird actually. I'm not into naked multiple amputees, OK. Not that there's anything wrong with being into that. Umm . . . I'm just going to walk away from the computer now.

Avril Lavigne in Maxim

Avril Lavigne is once again appearing in "Maxim" magazine, proving that she is a punk willing to sell out to perpetuate sales of her records. That's really the only reason I could think of. She doesn't look like she's having much fun in these pictures. It's a little bit strange that a punk non-conformist (allegedly) would let herself be coerced into doing things like this. It's like getting a vegetarian to eat a nice medium-rare steak so they could save a herd of cattle from the slaughterhouse. So, in a sense, Avril Lavigne is a hero of sorts . . . wait, somewhere along the lines of that metaphor/analogy I lost track of what this was all about. Fuck it. Here are more pictures of Avril, showing us her punk cleavage and whatnot. Pick up next month's "Maxim" or head out to their website for more pictures.

Heidi Montag "Topless" in Maxim

In the realm of attention-whoring wastes of space, you can't compete with Heidi Montag. Who else has pretty much every aspect of their life be something that is fabricated and tailored to be one giant publicity machine. Everything from the fake "reality" show she's on, to the fake relationship she has, to her now fake body. She has become a complete media-whore . . . and I don't think she's ready to stop this. And now, there's this Maxim issue that comes out in February (or now, I don't know, I haven't picked up a Maxim in close to half a decade), where she's topless . . . but not really. Sure, at one point in time, she actually is not wearing a top, but she's still covering it up. I get that it's Maxim and not Playboy. I know the difference, but if she's going to commit to actually show up on print, not wearing a top, then she might as well go all the way. Why get fake breasts in the first place, right? More pictures of Heidi below this paragraph. They're OK, if you're into chicks with no soul and granny panties.

Maxim is Blind

Let me start of by saying that Lindsay Lohan ain't no Quasimodo. With that said, she's also not the hottest woman on the face of this planet. I mean, that's something anyone can agree with, right? Well, if you're a Maxim Magazine staffer, you'd probably be on the opposition. They just picked Lindsay Lohan to be in their top 100 hottest women issue, and not in the top 50, 20, 10, but as #1! What the hell is going on with this crazy world. The only thing I was expecting Linday Lohan of winning right now was the "Most Likely to fall on a Penis, accidentally (wink) while snorting Cocaine" award for 2007. Not hottest woman in the world. I haven't picked up a Maxim in a long time. Now, I know why.


What color goes with "coke-whore"? Apparently, every single one.