Spider-Man 3 - So, this movie made a ton of money this past weekend, and also broke a record set by some pirate movie last year. The third outing in the Spider-Man franchise brought in an unprecedented $148 million to Sony Pictures . . . and the executives at that movie studio are rolling in money like pigs in shit. Did I watch it this past weekend? No. Don't tell me what happens. I'm waiting until it hits the 2 for 1 theater in Pasadena. 5 bucks ya'll. Or maybe I'll see it next weekend, where it will make another trillion dollars.
Disturbia - For 2 weeks in a row, this movie was number one. But it couldn't contend with the box office juggernaut that is the movie currently holding the top spot. But, is this movie good? Who knows. It's got that LaBouef kid. He's charismatic-ish? I'm not going to watch this. Why? Well, I don't watch the Disney Channel and I'm not a tween girl.
Fracture - This movie actually moved up one spot in the top five. Not many movies do that. But then again, it only $3 million this weekend. A bit anemic wouldn't you say? Which is why it gets an anemic entry.
The Invisible - The next few sentences will be written in invisible ink.
Next - So, Nick Cage? What new hairstyle will you be sporting for your next box office disaster? Mullet? Jerry-Curl? Whi-fro?
Showing posts with label Fracture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fracture. Show all posts
Monday, May 07, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Box Office Report - Didn't See it Coming
Disturbia - Never underestimate the pull that Shia LeBoef has with the tween crowd. I mean, who cares about him other than all the "Even Stevens" fans who keep watching those re-runs on the Disney Channel. Sure, he's an OK actor. But enough to keep this movie at #1 for two weeks straight? I don't think so. America and I are not on speaking terms right now.
The Invisible - Guess no one was either interested in this or people are just saving up for next weekend, when the first major blockbuster of the year should be released. This rather forgettable mystery was, indeed, invisible to viewers who passed this up.
Next - Nick Cage. When will you learn that it's not the weird haircuts that you sport in your movies that draws in the crowds, but rather the caliber of the stories you're acting in. Take some time to re-evaluate your career man. When a big "action" movie opens up with just over 7 million, that's not even enough to pay for the advertising campaign. I guess he didn't see this coming. Haha, get it, because the movie is about a guy that can see into the future. *sigh* Why do I have to explain myself to you people.
Fracture - Yawn. Isn't it Anthony Hopkins' nap time? Someone get him his puree'd steak and potatoes and an extra thick straw. The man has to watch his "Matlock" for crying outloud.
Blades of Glory - It should be a crime for a movie that looks as ridiculous as this to make over 100 million dollars. But there's no denying the allure of Will Ferrell. That motherfucker's funny. But is he really 100 million dollars funny? I guess America has decided that already.
Special #6 Entry
Hot Fuzz - This movie is performing alright despite the fact that it has those silly English accents and it's been ignored by pretty much the whole of the mainstream American public. We watched this the weekend it opened and had a great time. You should really take your time to find this movie and watch it in the theaters. By the power of Greyskull . . . .
The Invisible - Guess no one was either interested in this or people are just saving up for next weekend, when the first major blockbuster of the year should be released. This rather forgettable mystery was, indeed, invisible to viewers who passed this up.
Next - Nick Cage. When will you learn that it's not the weird haircuts that you sport in your movies that draws in the crowds, but rather the caliber of the stories you're acting in. Take some time to re-evaluate your career man. When a big "action" movie opens up with just over 7 million, that's not even enough to pay for the advertising campaign. I guess he didn't see this coming. Haha, get it, because the movie is about a guy that can see into the future. *sigh* Why do I have to explain myself to you people.
Fracture - Yawn. Isn't it Anthony Hopkins' nap time? Someone get him his puree'd steak and potatoes and an extra thick straw. The man has to watch his "Matlock" for crying outloud.
Blades of Glory - It should be a crime for a movie that looks as ridiculous as this to make over 100 million dollars. But there's no denying the allure of Will Ferrell. That motherfucker's funny. But is he really 100 million dollars funny? I guess America has decided that already.
Special #6 Entry
Hot Fuzz - This movie is performing alright despite the fact that it has those silly English accents and it's been ignored by pretty much the whole of the mainstream American public. We watched this the weekend it opened and had a great time. You should really take your time to find this movie and watch it in the theaters. By the power of Greyskull . . . .
Friday, April 20, 2007
Opening Weekend Movies - 4/20/07
Fracture - I saw the trailer for this, and was not all that impressed. Sure, it's Anthony Hopkins running circles around Ryan Gosling, but that's almost as exciting as the Special Olympics. That, and courtroom dramas are just a bunch of yawns to me. Who cares really.
Hot Fuzz - This, on the other hand, looks like a right fucking riot. I don't know how many times I've said this is from the makers of "Shaun of the Dead", but it is, and that alone should get your "sodding" (as they say over there in the UK) arse into theaters to go watch this. If you go and you don't laugh, then there's something really wrong with you. Like you might actually be the Anti-Christ. Or just lack any sense of humor whatsoever. In that case, stay at home this weekend and catch the Carlos Mencia show. That would probably make you laugh. You twat.
In the Land of Women - This is such a chick flick disguised as a coming of age teen-style story. Meg Ryan's in it, so that should tip you off as to what your getting yourself into as your girlfriend/wife drags you to go see this. And could this Adam Brody kid be more Zach Braff'ish? Stare at the camera while some hipster music plays in the background some more please. God, I hate everyone who was ever involved with "The OC".
Vacancy - This could have possibly been a fun direct to DVD release, but they're taking it to the big screen. Do Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale even have the star power to carry a movie on their own? And do people even care about snuff films anymore? That's so 1998. I'm not even waiting for DVD for this one. If it's on cable, sometime next year, I might DVR the bitch. Might. And only if it's playing on one of the HD movie channels.
In Limited Release Special for 4/20
Smiley Face - Anna Faris is stoned for an hour and a half-ish after eating some pot cupcakes. That's all you really need to know about this movie. Oh, and Adam Brody is in it wearing a ridiculous rastafarian dread wig. What a fag. Here's the trailer, which includes a scene where a dog talks to a fucked up person. Original? Maybe the first time it happened.
Hot Fuzz - This, on the other hand, looks like a right fucking riot. I don't know how many times I've said this is from the makers of "Shaun of the Dead", but it is, and that alone should get your "sodding" (as they say over there in the UK) arse into theaters to go watch this. If you go and you don't laugh, then there's something really wrong with you. Like you might actually be the Anti-Christ. Or just lack any sense of humor whatsoever. In that case, stay at home this weekend and catch the Carlos Mencia show. That would probably make you laugh. You twat.
In the Land of Women - This is such a chick flick disguised as a coming of age teen-style story. Meg Ryan's in it, so that should tip you off as to what your getting yourself into as your girlfriend/wife drags you to go see this. And could this Adam Brody kid be more Zach Braff'ish? Stare at the camera while some hipster music plays in the background some more please. God, I hate everyone who was ever involved with "The OC".
Vacancy - This could have possibly been a fun direct to DVD release, but they're taking it to the big screen. Do Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale even have the star power to carry a movie on their own? And do people even care about snuff films anymore? That's so 1998. I'm not even waiting for DVD for this one. If it's on cable, sometime next year, I might DVR the bitch. Might. And only if it's playing on one of the HD movie channels.
In Limited Release Special for 4/20
Smiley Face - Anna Faris is stoned for an hour and a half-ish after eating some pot cupcakes. That's all you really need to know about this movie. Oh, and Adam Brody is in it wearing a ridiculous rastafarian dread wig. What a fag. Here's the trailer, which includes a scene where a dog talks to a fucked up person. Original? Maybe the first time it happened.
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