Ashanti - Thunder Thighs

I was under the impression that Ashanti was ok looking. But then I saw this picture, and I thought to myself . . . I wonder if there's any lightning to go along with those thunder thighs of hers. And, when she performs on stage, does the audience really need to clap along to her tunes, or does the sound her thighs make when they clap against each other suffice? And, furthermore, is my sister-in-law going to make a comment about how I put the black woman down? Well wait and see on that one. Now, I know "da brothas" like a little cushion for the pushin' . . . but to me . . . that's just chubby mafia propaganda. That doesn't justify a steady diet of microwaveable burritos and sticks of butter which Ms Ashanti seems to be consuming at an alarming rate. Maybe she's trying to reach Janet Jackson proportions in an effort to become a "big star". Someone needs to drop Ashanti a memo (wrapped in bacon so she can notice it) telling her that she doesn't actually have to be big to be a big star.

EDIT: I have to specify (at the behest of someone I know that can kick my ass) that this post is entirely about Ashanti and people reading it should not read too much into it and think that it's about them. So I repeat, this is not about you. Unless you're Ashanti, in which case, I'm glad you were able to put down the pork-rinds for a second to read my blog.