Academy Award Nomination

Best Picture:
"Brokeback Mountain" - Gay Cowboys are all the Rage.
"Capote" - Effiminate men are all the Rage.
"Crash" - Over rated racial melodramas are all the Rage.
"Good Night, and Good Luck" - B&W is all the Rage.
"Munich" - Killing palestinians is all the Rage.

Actor:
Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Capote" - Squeaky voicebox love.
Terrence Howard, "Hustle & Flow" - Pimp love.
Heath Ledger, "Brokeback Mountain" - Sheep-herder love with other sheep-herder.
Joaquin Phoenix, "Walk the Line" - Addict love.
David Strathairn, "Good Night, and Good Luck" - Commie love.

Actress:
Judi Dench, "Mrs. Henderson Presents" - Wrinkles are sexy.
Felicity Huffman, "Transamerica" - Trannies are the new pink.
Keira Knightley, "Pride & Prejudice" - Hot chicks playing frumpy chicks are the Rage
Charlize Theron, "North Country" - Hot chicks playing frumpy chicks are the Rage . . . when they're sexually discriminated on.
Reese Witherspoon, "Walk the Line" - The Academy loves chins. Huge chins.

Supporting Actor:
George Clooney, "Syriana" - Director, Actor, Supporting Actor, playboy, can this man do everything?
Matt Dillon, "Crash" - Racism is hot these days.
Paul Giamatti, "Cinderella Man" - Old timey boxing coaches are hot these days.
Jake Gyllenhaal, "Brokeback Mountain" - Gays have been hot since the days of Sparta.
William Hurt, "A History of Violence" - Jewish gangstas . . . otherwise known as jengstas . . . are hot these days.

Supporting Actress:
Amy Adams, "Junebug" - Nobody saw this, good chance to win.
Catherine Keener, "Capote" - Why not her work on 40 Year Old Virgin?
Frances McDormand, "North Country" - You have to consider she was also in Aeon Flux.
Rachel Weisz, "The Constant Gardener" - She's not Mexican enough to star in a movie with the word "Gardener" on it.
Michelle Williams, "Brokeback Mountain" - Her husband kisses Jake Gyllenhal. It takes acting to handle that.

Director:
Ang Lee, "Brokeback Mountain" - If he had made the Hulk gay, it would have done better in the box office.
Bennett Miller, "Capote"
Paul Haggis, "Crash" - Jeebus, this movie is like an annoying STD, it keeps popping up but it's not even all that great.
George Clooney, "Good Night, and Good Luck" - George Clooney is also getting nominated for film God this year.
Steven Spielberg, "Munich" - Did the Israeli hitmen have to kill ET?

There are other categories, but who cares really. These are the big ones. Discuss.