I have been thinking lately of things that could make me rich and famous, and circulating my many spec scripts (by spec scripts, I mean inklings in my brain) could sell like hotcakes. And sure, they're not written, but these ideas practically write themselves.
-A musical/dance comedy about a coal miner who wants to be a dancer. The twist, he's a quadriplegic, turrets syndrome'd narcoleptic.
-A buddy cop comedy starring Crocodile Dundee (the guy who played him) pairing up with a kangaroo to hunt down illegal aboriginee female slave trafficking.
-Girl falls for Boy, who falls for Girl, who then falls down and forgets about Girl who then kills him in a jealous rage because Boy is now banging Girl's brother.
-A Lifetime Movie of the Week where a woman spends an hour and a half getting the crap kicked out of her by her husband. She doesn't end up killing him, so it would actually be pretty original for Lifetime.
-A sci-fi flick who's trilogy goes backwards, kind of like Memento. It doesn't matter what it's about, so long as there are lasers and robots . . . and chilli dogs. Not enough chilli dogs in sci-fi movies for my taste.
-A CGI kids film where all the characters are sex-toys. It could be titled "The Little Dildo that Could".
-My life story, with supermodels, ninjas, Godzilla, and me saving babies from runaway burning carriages.
Don't steal my ideas or I'll kill you. And, if anyone in Hollywood reads this, I'm available for Executive Producer gigs. Hire me, I'll exec-produce the shit out of your project.
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5 comments:
Little dildo? Good God man, think big before it's too late!
no, you see, as part of his "cumming" of age story, he grows up to be the biggest dildo of the land.
don't you see how this could be inspirational for children?
Where can I send my backing for "The Little Dildo that Could", 'cause I'm all over that one. Um, wait... Yeah.
Some would say you're an evil man for the Lifetime idea. Wait...you don't care. Yeah.
it's not any different than the crap they put on Lifetime these days anyway. at least this way, it'll be something new and fresh for women to enjoy.
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