Fuck it, I'm Irish

The wife and I went to watch Grandma's Boy in Burbank this afternoon. Not a whole lot of people in the theater, but it started to fill up towards start time, and then, the gaggle of underage loud bitches stroll in thinking they're hot shit. Now, if only they had stayed quiet throughout the movie, nothing would have happened, but they were the kind of audience that just pisses everyone in the theater off.

I'm talking annoying I-want-to-strangle-the-life-out-of-you laughter. I mean, sure, the movie was funny, and there were some laugh out loud moments all over the place, but these bitches just started to grind on everyone's nerves. Especially my wife. She's a very sweet person and everything but if something flips her switch, it's on. Motherfucking on. She started kicking the back of their seats, did the whole "SHHH!" thing, and when one of the dumb whores was laughing and said "I can't take it anymore", she very audibly said "THEN LEAVE".

She has that Irish temper. So, the movie ends, we walk out, and we take turns emptying our bladders and she runs into the bitches in the bathroom. She stares them down, and then walks away because she's decided to be the better person. The one of the idiots says to her "Yeah, you better leave" and Heather stops, turns around, and drills holes in the back of their necks with those blue eyes of hers. Intense eyes that can cut granite. The four bitches just nervously wash their hands and start whispering amongst each other "she's looking at us".

I wasn't there, but I trust in my wife's accounts of the happenings. She says to them "EXCUSE ME?" and they just try to ignore her. I meet her outside after I am done with my post movie piss, and she tells me "Let's stick around". She tells me what's going on and I try to diffuse the situation. These idiots were clearly underage, and unfortunately in the state of California, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to beat up a minor. Stupid laws.

We light up cigarettes outside of the theater as she rides the adrenaline high. She wants to fight. I'm just wishing that she doesn't start something that will necessitate me calling my father in law asking if he knows any good lawyers. Thankfully, they are nowhere to be seen and we head out to the car. They must have taken another exit out because we see them walking outside the Urban Outfitters and we honk, and she flips them off. Then, on the way home, she keeps asking me to drive back so she can pound on some stupid bitch grills.

I'm just glad she didn't have a couple of pints in her. I don't think I could stop her from getting into a scuffle with someone who disrespects her. Oh, and by the way, Grandma's Boy is hilarious. I recommend the movie, well worth the matinee price. I just hope your showing doesn't get ruined by something like this.