DVD Tome "H & I"

I know it's been a while since I made an entry in the DVD tome. What can I say, with the holidays and the being out of town and the loss of interest on my part . . . it's kind of hard to continue. But, I made a commitment to finish this up, and I'm going to do it. So, for the one or two people that were looking forward to the continuation of this feature, get your vaseline and bounty ready. For everyone else, just come back later.

H

Hannibal - I remember watching this originally in a movie theater. I liked it then, and I really liked the parenting skills of a certain couple that brought what looked like to be a 2 year old to the theater with them. Right on retards. I wonder what was next on their agenda. Tape open her eyes and make her watch Faces of Death over and over again a la Clockwork Orange? The movie itself is not as good as Silence of the Lambs, but it's enjoyable. Anthony Hopkins really does a great Hannibal Lecter. It's pretty much his character by now. Nice little bit of trivia . . .he was not the first actor to play Hannibal. Extra credit points for the person who can tell us who that actor was in the comments section.

Heavenly Creatures - I like Peter Jackson's work. The upcoming King Kong has me all hyped up about going to the movies again. It looks awesome. So I recommend people catch up on his earlier work. Specially this tale of two teenage girls and their wild imagination and intense friendship that leads to murder. It's got Kate Winslet when she was 17 . . . before she packed on the Titanic pounds. This movie is what got PJ noticed in Hollywood so that he could move on to make more commercial work like The Frighteners. Check it out.

Hellsing (Vol 1-2) - This vampire genre anime is ok. Not fantastic like the previews made it out to be. It's a pretty standard story of hot anime girl who finds herself in weird situation and has to learn how to deal while keeping her ginormous breasts bouncy. It just so happens that the girl gets turned into a vampire . . . and the twist . . . she's part of a vampire hunting organization. I didn't continue buying because I got bored.

High Tension Unrated - This French slasher flick is fantastic. Even the twist at the end that most people find to be too jolting did not faze me. I loved this movie. It's pretty harsh and gory, and makes you flinch. It also makes me want to go out and buy a chainsaw, but that's a different story.

Hollow Man - It was bound to happen. A Kevin Bacon movie was bound to show up in my list somewhere, and here it is. Hollow Man was the shit back in the day. The whole invisible man effects were cool. It even sparked an Invisible Man tv show on SciFi that I watched almost religiously. But, in the end, this movie is just plain ol' cheesy. It's not terrible, but it ain't no Tremors.

Hookers in a Haunted House - This movie made The Sal call me half way through him watching it and prompted him to ask me "What the fuck is wrong with you man?" This movie is that fucked up. And not fucked up good . . . fucked up as in "why was this ever made?". I like these kinds of movies though, and paying 6 bucks for it at Best Buy might sound like a high price for this DVD-shaped turd of a movie, but it's fun. This movie tries to be funny. It tries to break that fourth wall and wink at the audience, but it all feels retarded. Even the villian Bagjob looks like there was zero effort put into his character. He wears a paper bag on his head. That's his evil disguise! I love this movie. Go buy it.

Hulk - I fucked up when I went to Target to get this movie and purchased the fullscreen version. I hate modified to fit your screen movies. Give me my widescreen! But, I wasn't about to go buy another one. You see . . . the Hulk is a good movie, just not the great movie everyone was expecting after X-Men & Spider-Man were released. Maybe choosing Ang Lee was a bad choice for an action movie. He does great character work in this though. The actors are well coached . . . and Jennifer Connely looks angelic (drools), but it just lacks the action that people were looking for when they went to see this in the theaters. This is why it kinda tanked at the box office.

I

Incredible Adventures of Wallace & Gromit, The - I love me some Wallace & Gromit. It's claymation heaven, and in this you get the first three animated shorts Aardman animation created that led to this summer's W&G big screen movie. You can see a clear progression on the quality of the claymation as well, which is really cool. Everything gets better from the first one where they go to the moon to get some cheese to the last one where they have a penguin tenant who is not what it seems. Fantastic work here. I love it.

Incredibles, The - I predict this to be the last great Disney/Pixar collaboration. Yeah, I know that Pixar has one more movie in the works coming out next year that is still associated with the Evil Empire, but it just looks like they're going through the motions. Cars will not be as good as The Incredibles. Watching this movie in a packed theater was a great experience as kids were just saying "wow" & "whoa" throughout the whole thing while the adults got the jokes meant for them. Gorgeous animation too. Great story. I'm excited to see what Pixar will be tackling now that they're not dragging the Disney ball & chain around.

Insomnia - Robin Williams as a bad guy. Hmm . . . I don't know. And Al Pacino as a guy that can't get any sleep? That I can get, since he's old and tired anyway. I guess having Mork kill you is kind of creepy. I don't think I enjoyed this movie as much as I enjoyed Memento, the director's previous work, but it did lead him to making that pretty cool Batman Begins movie, so I'll forgive the slight lack of quality in it.

There you go, two for the price of one.