Monday, November 07, 2005

Box Office Money-Makers

1. Chicken Little - This movie pretty much proves the power of a child nagging his parent to go watch something that the critics pretty much hated. At 40 million for the opening weekend take, I'm guessing Disney is feeling pretty good about itself and them breaking off their partnership with Pixar. The only problem is, everything I read about this movie just tells me it's a stinking pile of crap. The only redeeming factor for this flick is that it's being shown in 3-D in some theaters, which is pretty exciting since they're talking about doing a release of King Kong a month or so after it opens in that same format. I guess this is what James Cameron has been working on for the past few years instead of making movies. Wonder when we'll see his treatment of Battle Angel Alita on the big screen. That would be pretty gnarly in 3-D.

2. Jarhead - This movie we watched over the weekend based solely on my wife loving the song during the trailer. That "jesus" song. Yeah, I don't know how it goes but I think it's Kanye West. *shrugs* How's the movie? Pretty good. It's not the war film everyone might want to see . . . since these trained killers never actually get to do what they are trained for. You can feel their frustration and what it leads them to do. Very well made movie despite the copious male ass and schlong outlines. The "field fuck" scene is just glorious. I recommend it. But seriously . . . don't be like our audience and take your 7 underage kids to go watch this. So annoying.

3. Saw II - The only Halloween scary movie that had any legs is still going strong. It's far surpassed it's 5 million budget and it's ensuring the return of Jigsaw next year for Saw III which will, most likely, have three severed fingers as it's signature marketing campaign. I don't see them doing anything else. Have not seen it yet, don't plan on seeing it really. I might get them both on DVD when both of them are available on DVD, but not until then.

4. The Legend of Zorro - Ahh, looks like Catherine Zeta Jones had a little break from her demanding schedule of selling T-Mobile service in your local mall along with letting a near corpse put it to her after he takes his viagra. And Antonio Banderas . . . glad he could pull away from his busy schedule of doing nothing to reprise his role. My cousin Tina actually went to see this and told me it was entertaining but devoid of a story . . . which she strangely found to be fun. Hmm . . . we might need to send her to a psychiatric ward to get her head examined.

5. Prime - This making it to #5 is beyond Prime's best expectations. Meryll Streep just doesn't have the star quota that she had before. And Uma is just a little too mannish for me to take seriously as an elderly sex symbol.

6. Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story - There was a time when Dakota Fanning was a cute little girl. What happened to her? I mean, she's still a little girl and all, but she just looks like the spawn of the devil now. I guess shit happens right.

7. Good Night, And Good Luck - Black & white movies are classy. I have a passing interest in seeing this as it has some historical meaning . . . and that's just calling out to the history major in me. Sure, that history major never got a degree in history, but whatever. I think I might catch this on DVD though. It's doing ok without my 10 bucks at the box office, and I'm sure the DVD will come with extra material that will also appeal to me.

8. The Weather Man - Nobody likes Weather men. They're just hacks who tell you all the wrong info. It never rains when they tell you it will and they always have some ridiculously named weather tracking device that is good for nothing. Doppler Tracker 5 Billion!! And the "Storm Watch" this and that every time it sprinkles a bit here in LA. Ri-cock-ulous! Maybe this is why this movie is only getting mild interest out there. It's doing just ok I guess considering it's pulling in a few million a week . . but this is by no means a "blockbuster" of a release. It might be Oscar-bait, but that's about it.

9. Shopgirl - Claire Danes falling for Steve Martin & Jason Schwartzman? This has got to be a fairy tale right? Now, some people might not find Danes to be all that hot. She's not, she's attractive in that "normal girl" kinda way. Which is why I just don't see her getting it on with either one of these guys. Well, maybe Steve Martin since he's playing a rich guy . . . and some chicks are gold diggers. My wife wants to go see this . . . because she likes Claire Danes, and thinks she's related to that Schwartzman guy somehow. Same last names.

10. Flightplan - Someone please tell me why this movie just won't go away. I'm tired of writing about it. Someone needs to crash this into an empty field. Oh well. It might just be my "don't like movies with a plausible plot" prejudice. Nothing against you Jodie Foster. I'm sure you just had to pay for all the discarded baby fetuses that you grind up to make face cream to remain so young'ish looking.

1 comment:

Jaime said...

that's just wrong . . . funny . . . but wrong.

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