DVD Tome "G"

G.

Garden State - Zach Braff's directorial debut, and what a smart guy he is to cast himself as the lead and have Natalie Portman as his leading lady. They get to smooch around, he has her running around in her bra and panties, she's all adorable all over the place. Not to mention that this movie is also well written and the actors are perfectly cast. This is the movie that Elizabethtown strived to be, but fell short because it chose a troll for a leading lady.

Gangs of New York - I don't watch many Leonardo DiCaprio movies. But this is a Martin Scorsese movie, so I trust the director to at least get a decent performance from his actors. And Leo's maturing a little, picking better roles, and not eating as many pies as he used to. I guess being married to Gisele Bundchen will do that. This movie's appropriately bloody and it's long too. 2 DVD's, but we kind of get robbed at the end. You'll see what I mean.

Gatekeepers (Vol 1-3) - Another one of those unfinished series's. Anime used to dominate my bank account back before I was married. This one has some pretty tight animation and a cool 60's vibe, but after I got hitched and the wife started frowning upoin these kinds of purchases . . . I just kind of let the interest in this fall by the wayside. I know, what a tragic tale.

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex - Speaking of anime hating wives . . . she actually buckled down and bought me this for X-mas. I know, it's only the first one in a series of DVD's, but this might mean that she might pick up the 2nd one for me this X-mas, and I might finish the series in 2010. Who knows, a boy can wish right?

Ghost in the Shell: Innocence - Otherwise known as Ghost in the Shell 2, this follow-up to the first movie finds the focus shifted to Batou as he tries to solve a robotic sex-doll crime spree. Oh, and yes, this is anime as well, so now . . . that storyline doesn't seem all that far-fetched right. No penis tentacles or raping of schoolgirls in this one, but you do get a phyllosphically charged story and an anime basset hound.

Gladiator Eroticus - This is lesbian porn. Not great lesbian porn, but there's not a single schlong entering a vagina in this movie. Which is a shame. Not that I'm against lesbo porno action, it's just that it's not that good. It feels like it's played for laughs here, and either I'm not getting an inside joke, or these people have no sense of humor whatsoever. But, it ain't no Hookers in a Haunted House, so that's a relief.

Go - Doug Lyman's a good director. I really enjoyed Swingers, and Go is not as good, but just as enjoyable. The intertwining story-lines are fun, the actors ham it up a little, and Katie Holmes does not distract me too much. I do like the scene where Sarah Polley is selling those retard rave kids the aspirin and passing it off as ecstasy. Hilarious. "Do you feel it? Yeah, it's like a wave". Oh man.

Grudge, The - This is the American remake, strangely shot by the Japanese director of the Japanese original. Treading water maybe? Hmm . . . I think they mentioned that this was a follow-up to the first one, but from what I hear, it's pretty much a shot for shot remake. Oh well, it's creepy, and powder-white japanese boys running around in their underwear will forever creep me out. Specially when they make cat noises. Friggin cats. Hmph! The only thing I did not get is why Sarah Michelle Gellar didn't kick some ass in this. She's Buffy the Vampire Slayer right? She could have totally roundhouse kicked the ghost in the face and ended it's rampage. If I ran the movies, that would have been in there. I don't care if it wouldn't have worked. It would still be in there.

The G's are done, ya heard G-dawg.