DVD Tome "B"

B.

Bad Boys II - Why no entry for Bad Boys? Why just skip to the sequel? Because this one is bigger and badder than the first. And I don't like Tea Leoni. Something about her just isn't right. I'm sure David Duchovny has no problems putting it to her, but she just seems so spastic and raspy that I think she's got a chemical imbalance. This sequel is Tea Leoni-free as far as I can remember, so therefore it fits into my collection.

Bad Taste - Ahh . . . Peter Jackson's first ever movie. It took him 4 years to shoot this on the weekends with a shoe-string budget and using his pals. The result is truly terrible, but without this . . . the Lord of the Rings movies would have never been made. So this is the starting point of a brilliant (and sometimes twisted) career. I recommend you purchase this just to experience an indie movie that spawned a master director.

Bastard Complete Collection - I know this is sitting there in my DVD bookcase, but I have no recollection of watching it. It's anime, and it's about a "bastard" . . . but I seriously don't remember what this series is all about.

Big Lebowski, The - The Dude is one of Jeff Bridges' best characters. That slacker mid-nineties bowler is a favorite of mine, and all the other supporting characters are brilliant. "Shut the fuck up Donny". The fat guy from Roseanne is really good in this "I can get you a toe, you want a toe? I can get you a toe". There's a spiffy new double-dip out there. If you haven't gotten this before, get the newly released version.

Bikini Bandits Freeze Mother Fucker! - This is one of the first DVD's I ever purchased. I used to watch this on my black Powerbook laptop computer. This is when I didn't have an actual DVD player or an X Box. This feature is lots of fun. It's got strippers running around in bikinis and robbing convenience stores with big guns and running amok. What more do you want? Story? Doesn't need it. This is not a movie movie though, it's more like a collection of shorts and some extra material thrown together onto DVD. Check it out, you'll like it.

Black Hawk Down - This Somalian conflict war movie is a favorite of mine, because it shows how arrogant and cocky this country can be when dealing with third world countries. And there's also the intense firefights. The presence of Orlando Bloom is not all that jarring, because he bites it towards the beginning and you don't see him again after that. Now, you may think that I hate this Bloom fellow . . . I don't. I think his career should just involve him playing elves & reluctant pirates, which he's really good at. When he tries to do romantic comedies . . . it's nothing but a big groan-o-rama for me.

Blade, Blade II, Blade Trinity - This series peaked at II, and then went downhill. It did some good things in the original, and then Guillermo Del Toro directed the hell out of the 2nd one. When David Goyer decided he wanted to direct the final installment, the house of cards tumbled, and you're left with a mess. A sexy mess though since you get Jessica Biel in a shower scene, and for the ladies, ample oggling of Ryan Reynolds' toned physique. But what happened to Blade in the third installment? Yeah, he was kind of set aside and it became a Nightstalkers movie. Maybe that's why Wesley Snipes tried to sue Goyer for a cool 5 million.

Blow - Somehow, it's not that much of a stretch to picture Johnny Depp high of cocaine all the time. He's just got that way about him. Regardless, this is a cool movie about how cocaine got started here in the U.S. I like movies that start up with the good times and then everything turns to shit in a blender at the end. This is one of those movies. Because you can't have a happy ending in a drug movie. You can't. You can have a happy ending at an asian massage parlor, but not in a drug movie.

Boogie Nights - Paul Thomas Anderson's porno epic. Drugs, terrible music, porn, Marky Marc's large prosthetic schlong, Roller Girl . . . this movie is a must own. An American classic. I wasn't all that interested in the movies original theatrical release. I discovered the greatness of this movie only after it was released on DVD and thank Jeebus I did.

Bourne Identity & Bourne Supremacy - I keep wanting to hate Matt Damon. First, my wife digs him, and second . . . he's great friends with Ben Affleck, who is a complete douchebag. But Damon just keeps turning out good movies, and his Bourne flicks are just fun, action packed affairs that I can't get enough of. Sometimes sequels are rehashed crap, but not with Supremacy. I think that one is actually better than the Identity in that it ups the ante. More things happen, people from the first movie die, and new ones are introduced . . . that also die. I'm waiting for the third and last Bourne book to be turned into a movie. That one will be called The Bourne Ultimatum and I just hope they handle that as well as the first two movies.

Brotherhood of the Wolves, The - This french movie that blends horror, martial arts, period pieces and psychological thrillers is a fairly entertaining watch. It also has that sultry Monica Belluci in it, and that's always a welcome sight. You might also recognize the Chairman from Iron Chef America kicking much ass in this. Too bad he had to sell out. It's ok though, this is one of his most recognizeable roles . . . and it's from a foreign movie.

The B's are done . . . now help me get rid of the Bees in my head. I think they're killer Bees . . or Killa Bees. Oh wait, that's just the WuTang Clan. Nevermind.