I can't stop thinking that having a set of tits that small is tantamount to child abuse. What's baby Apple suckling through her first months of life? Did Chris Martin hire some African women to nurse his child? He's into all that African relief fund business . . . because it's not enough to be a rock star. Now you have to be a rock star who cares about the world. Pfft! But hey, a nipple is a nipple, and some people really find Gwyneth Paltrow to be attractive. Me? Not so much. Sure she's no Kirsten Dunst. I don't shudder at the sight of her. But something just kinda puts me off about her. She just looks like she would be holed up in Vichy France after the Germans ran a parade down her Arc de Triumph . . . if you catch my drift (and you probably don't if you don't watch a lot of History Channel), and by parade I mean train, and by train I don't mean choo-choo. Either that, or she just would make a great assistant to the secretary of Adolf Hitler. For when Adolf would want a little extra . . . but not too much, since there's not a whole lotta Gwyneth to begin with.
But hey, I'm sure she's a great person, beloved my millions. I'm just telling you why I don't dig her too much. And even though those child-abusing titties are not great and all, I do appreciate the fact that the dress is see-through and that it's not Tara Reid under there. Yikes, that would be an excuse to stab my eyes out with chopsticks.
3 comments:
Never punch a gift boob in the nip!
i think you missed the part where i was appreciative that it was not tara reid's franken-nipple.
nipples should not be shaped like amoebas.
Just FYI:
Some of us like 'em small. ;)
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