Duff is a Dog?

This is really confusing. All this time I thought Hillary Duff was a homo sapien female . . . an extremely annoying and boxy shaped human female. Now this magazine came out and is telling me that she's actually a canine bitch. Well, if it's in print, then it's gotta be true. Just how everything written on this blog is true . . . allegedly.

I'm just wondering what breed Hillary is. Is there a breed of dog that tends to drop weight fast and favors horse-teeth veneers over her regular teeth? She also loves to howl really loud in an attempt to "sing". Oh, puppies are so cute when they sing. Maybe she's a hound dog, which would be great for the Squishter. He's been looking for a good bitch to hump, and since Hillary is rich for some odd reason, I'm sure he wouldn't mind marrying into money. And it's just about time, my dog has humped holes into his bed. He's got a lot of love to give, and we can't afford to buy him more beds. Have your people call my people Hillary, because as far as I know, dogs can't use telephones.