When Religious Retards Try to Convert

. . . .

. . . .

Is this a fucking joke? There are people out there that are in line with this retarded chick's line of thinking?

WTF! "Indians are like if an African and an Asian had a baby"??? Holy shit. If there is a God out there, I hope he's shaking his head in shame at what his creations say sometimes. I have to commend the Hindu girl, Saraa, in this video, for keeping her composure and eventually deciding that eating rice would be a much more productive use of her time than hanging out with these two girls. If I were in that position, I would have ended up slapping the shit out of these two chicks. And the thing that kills me is that the girl in the middle is completely convinced that she's doing the right thing. Try to sit through the 9+ minutes of this and you might want to rethink your involvement in religion.

Eminem Gets Face Full of Bruno

I didn't watch the MTV Movie Awards this year. Yet. Don't worry, MTV will surely replay it ad-infinitum so I'll get to it eventually. But, from what I heard, this was the highlight of the show. Eminem, noted homophobe, got a little too close to Sacha Baron Cohen's "Bruno" character during the show, and decided the most adult thing to do was get his entourage to swing the comedian around and then storm out of the show. Watch the video, and wait for Eminem's rap response to this. If he's got balls . . . that aren't on his chin! Hey-yo!

Wife Handcuffs Husband, Bites Him. 911 Call

I'm not sure how to approach this particular video. Sure, the husband, Robert Drawbaugh sounds like a total pussy . . . but come on, the ex-wife, Helen Sun, is a bit on the psycho side. While it's a tad on the sad side that their marriage spiraled all the way down to this frantic 911 call to police, it's also motherfucking hilarious. From the tone of the guy's voice, you'd think his house was being laid siege to by Bigfoot or aliens. But no, it's just an Asian woman biting his arms and torso while handcuffed to him. Shit, some people pay for that kind of treatment.

When Chris Browns Attack: Rihanna's post Beat-down Picture

And that title for this post if the last joke I'm going to make about this. It's unconscionable what Chris Brown did to his girlfriend, Rihanna. No argument should end like this. The picture was leaked to TMZ.com, hence the large watermark on the image. I don't have much to say about this at this point in time. I'm no fan of either entertainer's musical careers, but I wish Rihanna a speedy recovery and hope that she cuts off all contact with Chris Brown. Because if this happens once, it's bound to happen again.

Christian Bale Loses his Cool on Terminator Set

If you hadn't heard yet, thespian Christian Bale, kinda went nuts during the filming of "Terminator: Salvation". Something went wrong during a scene where the director of photography for the movie, Shane Hurlbut, accidentally (allegedly) strayed into a scene. And then, this happened (link courtesy of TMZ). To tell you the truth, sure, he over-reacted, but he's a human being. Everyone at one point in their lives says (or in Bale's case, screams) something that they instantly regret. I'm sure Bale, in the heat of the moment, wasn't thinking that he had a microphone trained on him and that this outburst would get out into the internets. And furthermore, what's the DP doing in the shot while they're rolling film? I wasn't there, it's very likely that you weren't either, so I'm going to reserve judgment on this. It could have happened to anyone. His indignation might have been righteous. Either way, he's a terrific actor and the movie looks to be pretty good, in spite of emotional and profanity-laced outbursts.

The Downfall of the English Language Takes a Pee Break

Every so often, I run across something at work which just makes me think "goddamn G.E.D. is just not enough these days". The picture above is a flier for a fund-raising event at work that was posted above one of the urinals in the bathrooms, hence the title of this post, which is good. I have nothing against charitable donations and it doesn't sound like a terrible event either. You pay 5 bucks and you get to play the latest Madden game on either an XBOX 360 or a Playstation 3 for an hour or so. I don't have a problem with the inherent idea, it's just the execution of the flier that bothers me. And if it hasn't already stuck out like a sore thumb for you, then you might want to consider if you've become part of the problem.

So, right there, in the middle of the flier, in the largest font, someone decided to use the wrong "your". Classic mistake someone would expect to run into . . . in elementary school. But whomever took the time to make this flier isn't in elementary school. They're not even in high school. They've joined the work force, and this is what they're contributing. They're not bringing their A game. More like their D+ game.

But, I can't point it out at work. I had the unfortunate experience of bringing this up to someone who had made a rather nice flier for a baby shower a few months ago, and even though I was well meaning and complimented the flier and the hard work they must have put into it, the person was not all that receptive to my constructive criticism of their work, and just walked away, probably thinking I was a douchebag elitist . . . just because I know which words to use and when to use them.

So, from now on, I don't point this out anymore. I'd rather rant about it here. Where I can say whatever the fuck I want. But at least I'm saying it in a coherent and easy to follow format.

Robo-Poster #2 - Let the Right One In Trailer

"Let the Right One In" is a Swedish movie, but don't let it's foreign origin deter you from seeking this one out. It's already out in limited release. The story focuses on a reserved and oft-picked on 12 year old who befriends another 12 year old who just happens to be a vampire. Sure, there are subtitles involved, but they're not that hard to keep up with. I mean, it's got to be easier to follow the subtitles than to try to put IKEA furniture together. BAFW is highly recommending this, without even watching it. The trailer is that strong.

Meet Heff's New Twin Girlfriends

I had been hearing rumors that Hugh Heffner's girlfriends had been abandoning him lately for younger, and possibly more virile, men. I'm pretty sure he was down to one girlfriend, and it wasn't the hot one. So, what do you do to fill the void. Well, for starters, you up your boner pill prescription. Then, you get twin girlfriends to round out your harem back up to three pieces of tap'able tail. This is where Kristina and Karissa Shannon come in to play. I'm guessing they're Playboy Bunnies. I've never heard of them. But this should make Heff's show about his girlfriends "The Girls Next Door" a little more interesting. A tad on the creepy side, but still interesting. Anyway, here's a couple more pictures of the ladies, and even a nude picture! Not hosted on Photobucket, so it should stick around for a while. We'll see.





I know it's a thumbnail. That's the way they want it, I ain't gonna rock the boat with this new service too much. But you can click on it to make it bigger in a new screen.

MGMT, Spoon & Beck w/Hollywood Bowl Orchestra Strings 09/20/2008

This past Saturday, the wife and I went to The Hollywood Bowl to check out our second most anticipated concert of 2008. Our most anticipated show of 2008 actually happened last month, when we were down in San Diego, where we had the pleasure of seeing Radiohead in concert. Surprisingly enough, even though we had wanted to see Radiohead more, this concert we went to on Saturday ended up being way more enjoyable. It was a combination of better seats and great music. Let's get to the bands.

MGMT
MGMT were the surprise of the night. We had picked up their album, "Oracular Spectacular" a few weeks ago and, despite having some good songs, it hadn't wowed us. Not until Saturday night that is. They had a short, half an hour set, but they fully convinced both my wife and I that these guys were fucking rock stars. Every song they played got cheers from the crowd. This band is fantastic live, and it was just a great way to kick off a great concert. Here's an MP3 download of one of our favorite MGMT tunes not called "Time to Pretend".

MGMT - Weekend Wars

Spoon
Spoon was next up on the bill. I've enjoyed their music for quite some time, but I'm not up on my current Spoon releases, so most of their set, while technically and musically excellent, didn't get a whole lot of crowd participation from myself and my wife. Not to say that we didn't enjoy their set. It was longer than MGMT's, every song they played sounded great. But that's what we've come to expect from Spoon, so it was business as usual with them. Not that it's a bad thing. Here's an MP3 download of one of the songs we knew, and sang along with, at the concert.

Spoon - I Turn My Camera On

Beck
Beck came on stage for a full hour and a half, and just rocked my metaphorical pants off. He did the best thing I've ever seen him do when opening a concert . . . he started off with "Loser". That got the entire Hollywood Bowl to get up and not sit down through maybe 3/4's of his set. Even I, a staunch anti-dancing in public kinda guy, got up and fucking danced like one of the drunk motherfuckers seated next to us (will get to that in a minute). Towards the end of his set, Beck brought out the Hollywood Bowl's string orchestra, and while the tone of the concert went a little mellow after that, it still did not detract from the awesome set it was. There was an encore, which included the two turntables and a microphone song (the name eludes me right now). Here's an MP3 download of "Timebomb", one of the many fun songs Beck played during his set.

Beck - Timebomb

Concert Gripes
Unfortunately, no concert at the Hollywood Bowl is perfect. Even though we had better seats than ever, we still fell subject to people who would rather talk about their personal lives, in drunk volume (which is like turning your outside voice to 11), effectively ruining a considerable chunk of Spoon's set for us. And these people were not even supposed to be seated next to us. That's concert gripe #2. When you buy tickets, and they tell you that you need to be seated at a certain seat, stay there! I don't want 15 sluts trying to crowd my section, when I paid way more than retail for it, and ruin it with their presence and retardedly loud conversations about what their douche-bag boyfriends did to them 10 minutes ago. Fucking shit.

I did get to see a rather funny altercation between a couple of young seat poachers and their rightful owners. The people that had bought the tickets that corresponded to the seats next to us had wandered off (most likely to drink) after MGMT's set, and came back just as Beck was launching into "Loser", to find these two chicks seated in their spot. Now, the people that had been there originally were tore up by now, so even though justified, they might have gone a little overboard when trying to get back their seats. All they needed to do was get an usher and get these silly bitches evicted, but the guy (it was a couple) took it upon himself to get these broads out of his seats on his own. I heard him call the chicks "bitches" repeatedly, he did a rather inappropriate dance right in front of their faces in an effort to get his seats back, and when they finally left, after him repeatedly asking them "show me your tickets bitch!", the two girls kicked the chairs over and walked off, most likely with the guy's girlfriend's purse, because now she couldn't find it anywhere.

So, there you have it. A great show, punctuated with inevitable annoying moments that were beyond our control.

Next month we're going to class it up and spend a night with a philharmonic orchestra. I need to dust off my blazer. I hear only fancy attire is allowed.

Akon Loves His Fans

http://view.break.com/566370 - Watch more free videos

Why do people keep attending Akon concerts? He's already going to trial for throwing a kid off stage, now this? This time he's knocking chicks off stage with swift backhands action. Akon tickets should come with some sort of a disclaimer. Or his fans should just wear protective gear. Either way, the guys a total douchebag.

Match Made in WTF!

It is being reported that Pamela Anderson is dating Michael Jackson. I know. I'm confused too. The UK Mirror has the lowdown:

They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off."
So much so Michael plucked up the courage to ask Pammy out on a second date. And she was more than happy to accept.
We're told: "They went for a coffee at Country Mart in Malibu and looked very comfortable with each other. They chatted about Michael turning 50, his new album, their kids. And he seemed genuinely interested in Pamela."

I'm not quite sure what to make of this. And Michael Jackson is turning 50?! Holy crap. I wonder how many young boys he wants for his birthday.

Kevin Spacey Doesn't Discriminate

It would seem that, when it comes to grabbing a handfull of ass, Kevin Spacey doesn't discriminate. He's showing in the picture above some impressive man-ass-handling skills. Didn't know he would be into that. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I'm just saying the man probably needs some sort of medal. You know, for not discriminating. The guy should be holding a spot right next to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. . . . or at least his ass.

Sienna Miller Dumps Hunk of the Century

Sienna Miller, who has been in some movies (that I haven't seen or can't remember seeing), has ended her relationship with fiance, and super hot hunk of man meat, Rhys Ifans. OK, so maybe that's somewhat inaccurate. By, "super hot hunk of man meat" I meant, what the fuck was she thinking letting that homeless man touch her in her no-no parts? Sienna did do the classy thing and dumped Ifans over the phone, citing that it was his jealousy, not her excessive visits to her ex-boyfriend, that did the relationship in. Full story from The Sun below:

Screen beauty SIENNA MILLER has dumped actor boyfriend RHYS IFANS because he was jealous about her seeing her ex-love — MATTHEW RHYS. The blonde Alfie star broke the bad news to Welshman Ifans in a tearful phone call last weekend.

She blamed her decision on their long-distance relationship, during which Ifans became suspicious that she had rekindled her romance with Matthew. But Sienna, 26, insists she and her ex are just good friends — even though she has seen a lot more of Matthew during her regular trips to LA in recent months.

A source said: "Sienna broke the news at the weekend in a call from Prague. Things have been awkward for a while after she caught Rhys going through her text messages.

"She went bananas and Rhys said he was looking for what he called 'incriminating evidence'. He has been giving her a hard time lately, questioning her commitment to him and the time she puts into the relationship. When they are together they get on so well. But she can't cope with his jealousy."

I think the jealousy angle was just an excuse. I mean, look at this poor schmuck.

If this guy is making your panties insta-wet ladies, you've got issues. One more picture of them lounging around, enjoying the "good times".

Mario Lopez Launches Nip-Slip'd Lady Friend

Mario Lopez knows how to treat a lady right. I'm taking notes right now on how to better handle a nip slip from "A.C. Slater" himself. The chick that Mario Lopez has sitting on top of him is his dancing partner/girlfriend from "Dancing with the Stars" (don't ask me which season, I've never watched that show). Her name is Karina Smirnoff, and apart from having a cool name, that's pretty much all I know about her. That, and she wears bikinis, is boning "A.C. Slater", and is prone to the nip slip. Good catch Lopez. The pictures below depict his woman-tossing prowess, but not before he gets a good amount of nipple right in his eye. Extreme-close-up-style, for all the "Wayne's World" fans out there.

Vanessa Hudgens and What's-Her-Name Breakup

Vanessa Hudgens and her lesbian lover Zac Efron have ended their months-long committed relationship. Or so it would seem. OK! magazine has some details on the big hullaballo.

According to the source, while Zac was away in Europe promoting Hairspray, Vanessa was at a Hollywood Hills party, where eyewitnesses say she was "all over" her older, not-Zac date. And when someone dared to ask about Zac, Vanessa "threw a fit and said 'don't mention his name!' "After his return home to L.A., the pair were spotted Sunday night driving together in Zac's car, though the mood looked anything but festive.

What I'm thinking is that Vanessa finally got Zac to get "his" pants off and rather than finding a penis in there . . . found nothing but a dark, wet hole. That, or maybe she needed someone who could understand her better. Someone who could give her what she needs. I mean, look at that picture of a panda bear on her wall. It speaks volumes as to just how deep and special she is. Plus, if you were to date her, it's almost a definite possibility (like 2 to 1 Vegas odds) that she'd send you some naked pictures of herself. Or, if you don't want to go through the whole courtship process, you could just Google her ass.

"99 Problems . . .

. . . but a bitch ain't one". And now, we know why. Rapper Jay-Z will smack a bitch down if she runs her bitch-ass mouth. He knows how to control a woman, cause The Lord knows, if you let that woman out of the kitchen and let her get some damn shoes on . . . it's over. That female, only fit for baby and pie making (that's two separate functions . . . don't make me a baby-pie), would turn to the "feminism" wit da quickness. Can't have that. So, dial it down on the "Independent honeys, making moneys" tip, Beyonce, and just be content that Jay-Z is handling your "telephone bills and automo-bills". Here's a quote from her assistant.

I felt that I should expose [Jay-Z] for the ugly [EXPLETIVE] he is. Seems that for a while he’s had a problem with keeping his hands to himself. Now I’ve never seen him just flat out strike [Beyonce], but too many times have I seen him shove and push her. At first I thought that it was just a little horse play thing between the two - but once I saw how embarrassed Bee was to be man-handled in the front of me in St. Tropez - I realized that it was no joke. I’ve been [Beyonce’s assistant] and friend for a while now and I’ve always wanted to say something but I never felt it was my place. He treats Beyonce like she’s an object and not a person.

Don't make him raise his pimp-hand woman.

E-mail and Grievances

I got an e-mail today at work from a coworker who happens to read my blog. He/she (to maintain anonymity) took offense to a comment that was on a post that was directed towards someone else that I work with . . . a certain PC doctor's (or candy-striper if you ask me) whose then absence from work for a prolonged period of time due to "illness" was causing me a lot of stress. I think I had made a mention that his juniors were not working as hard as they should, and then I got this e-mail in my inbox today.

Jaime, if you have something to say about me or my work ethics, please take it up with me and my manager and not the entire world on your blog. I don’t appreciate being called names or being slandered on someone’s blog.

Now, here's the comment that he/she is having a problem with.

(G)et your ass to work. Your wonder twins are not doing a lick of work. They keep taking breaks to go to liquor stores and/or coffee shops with their BFF's.

A couple of things that I'm having a problem with here. Sure, I called him/her a "Wonder Twin" . . . but not which one? Maybe it was the one that turns into a bear or an eagle instead of the one that turns into a bucket of water or a letter opener. Secondly, the entire world is going to be looking at this? That might be a little bit of an exaggeration. Even if someone from Germany were to happen upon that particular blog post, they wouldn't even care because it's not a post about shize-movies starring a drunk Hermione from the Harry Potter movies. So, relax, the whole world is not in on it. Thirdly, the guy the post was directed to is your direct superior, so . . . in a round-a-bout way, I was taking it up with your "manager". And lastly (I'm pretty sure that's a word) . . . I don't mention any names, so how are you being "slandered" if no one knows it's you. And how do you know that I am talking to you now. It could be . . . someone else. That's the beauty of anonymity. I respect your desire to not be "slandered", but who's going to know it's you . . . unless you see something in that comment that has some semblance of truth.

Get over it. I don't see Britney Spears getting pissed off at the fact that I posted her upskirts on my blog. If you want to be mad at me, then go ahead. It doesn't bother me. But realize that I don't make shit up. I speak, or in this case, type my opinions that are based on some fact. I'm not going to make a big deal about this. I'm going to let it go. I don't want to keep having to use my 15 minute breaks to post explanations as to why I do the things that I do. You're an OK guy/girl. But I'm not apologizing for what I type.