Meet Heff's New Twin Girlfriends

I had been hearing rumors that Hugh Heffner's girlfriends had been abandoning him lately for younger, and possibly more virile, men. I'm pretty sure he was down to one girlfriend, and it wasn't the hot one. So, what do you do to fill the void. Well, for starters, you up your boner pill prescription. Then, you get twin girlfriends to round out your harem back up to three pieces of tap'able tail. This is where Kristina and Karissa Shannon come in to play. I'm guessing they're Playboy Bunnies. I've never heard of them. But this should make Heff's show about his girlfriends "The Girls Next Door" a little more interesting. A tad on the creepy side, but still interesting. Anyway, here's a couple more pictures of the ladies, and even a nude picture! Not hosted on Photobucket, so it should stick around for a while. We'll see.





I know it's a thumbnail. That's the way they want it, I ain't gonna rock the boat with this new service too much. But you can click on it to make it bigger in a new screen.

Brooke Hogan in Playboy?

This just in from the New York Daily News -

Brooke Hogan has been approached to pose nude for the famous men's magazine, her publicist told the Daily News on Wednesday. And she didn't say no.

The "Brooke Hogan Knows Best" star, 20, could use a boost for her stagnant singing career. Hogan's 2006 album "Undiscovered" reportedly sold just 127,000 copies.

"No decision has been made at this time," her rep said.

Well, Playboy did put WWF wrestler Chyna in their magazine once (I still get the shakes whenever that unpleasant memory re-surfaces), so it's not all that weird that Brooke Hogan would make it into the long-published gentleman's magazine. But do we need to see Brooke Hogan naked? I'll take a pass on that one. Seeing her in bikinis is testing the limits of what I can take already.

Heidi Montag "Topless" in Maxim

In the realm of attention-whoring wastes of space, you can't compete with Heidi Montag. Who else has pretty much every aspect of their life be something that is fabricated and tailored to be one giant publicity machine. Everything from the fake "reality" show she's on, to the fake relationship she has, to her now fake body. She has become a complete media-whore . . . and I don't think she's ready to stop this. And now, there's this Maxim issue that comes out in February (or now, I don't know, I haven't picked up a Maxim in close to half a decade), where she's topless . . . but not really. Sure, at one point in time, she actually is not wearing a top, but she's still covering it up. I get that it's Maxim and not Playboy. I know the difference, but if she's going to commit to actually show up on print, not wearing a top, then she might as well go all the way. Why get fake breasts in the first place, right? More pictures of Heidi below this paragraph. They're OK, if you're into chicks with no soul and granny panties.

Kim Kardashian Playboy Pics

Kim Kardashian recently shot a pictorial for Playboy magazine that, according to initial sources, was supposed to be a little on the tame side. Just her bare ass and maybe one boob would be shown in the December issue of the popular men's magazine. Well, maybe they threw a little more cash at her, because these early leaked pictures are showing just a little more than that. In addition to the one boob and giant bare (could be bear as well . . . but shaved . . . haha, I said but[t], I should really end this extremely long parenthesized portion of the paragraph) ass, she's showing a little more. Maybe it's the attention whore in her that just blossomed during the photoshoot. Remind me again why this chick is famous? Why am I even taking the time to write up a post and put up some pictures of her? This is what people in the medical field would refer to as "temporary insanity" right? And why are you looking for pictures of this nobody that keeps trying to be somebody by being as assaulting us with her naked body every chance she gets?

All good questions, which your brain will most likely tune out while checking out the pictures below.





It wouldn't surprise me if Kim's next project is simulating sex with a donkey for Hustler magazine. You can tell she's kind of on that path already.

Edit: Yes, the pictures keep getting taken down, but I keep putting them back up. Why? Because I'm such a great guy and all. Where's my Nobel Peace Prize?

Is Playboy Blind? The Victoria Beckham Possibility

I don't get the Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham appeal. Sure, there was a time when the poshest of Spice Girls was attractive (for a British chick), but that was before she underwent this weird transformation into an overly tanned, zombie looking woman with gigantic robo-tits. That's not just silicon in there. I'm pretty sure there's enough sophisticated scientific gadgetry in Victoria Beckham's knockers to do your taxes . . . and not get audited. Take that H&R Block. So, taking that into consideration, Playboy wants her for a pictorial spread? What? Here's the quote:

The former Spice Girl was today given a glimpse of the opportunities awaiting Britain's most famous couple when they move to Los Angeles this summer when she was invited to take part in a Playboy "pictorial" by Hugh Hefner, the magazine's founder.

Speaking with three of his playmates, Hefner said that he was confident that David Beckham would be a huge success in America when he comes to start playing for Los Angeles Galaxy in August and offered something to occupy his wife while the midfielder starts to earn his promised $250 million (£129 million).

"She should do a pictorial with us. We’ve got big plans for her. I think she’s going to fit in fine."

I don't read Playboy myself. Mostly because the advent of Internet-based pornography makes the publication obsolete. But now, I have a new reason. Seeing a naked Posh Spice would kill my penis. Straight out obliterate it. So much so, than it's wake, I would end up with a vagina and a very serious hormonal problem. My vote is no. No Victoria Beckham in Playboy. One more reason why below.

Kelly Osbourne Shits and Nudity

A couple of Kelly Osbourne news tidbits I've come across while doing my early morning rounds through the gossip rags. This one, doesn't really surprise me. It comes from Life Style Extra, a UK based showbiz something or other.

Daughter Kelly has revealed mother sought revenge on the media by posting her and brother Jack's poo to journalists.

She told Britain's Grazia magazine: "Mum used to make me and Jack s**t in a box, then she'd wrap it up and send it to journalists she was angry with.

She could have just used that internet service that mailed dog poop to your most hated enemies. I guess it wouldn't have the same personal touch as sending your own kids' crap. The other piece of Kelly-news (which, does not involve The Rapture . . . the Biblical event not the cool band) is, believe it or not, much higher on the "OMG that's guh-ross!" scale. Seems that Kelly has some lofty delusions. One of them: appearing in Playboy. Nude. (WTF?)

She says, "I'd go fully nude, but I'd have to have some airbrushing on my tits."

That bit of disgusting news comes from Starpulse who should be collectively ashamed of putting out this sort of filth. Get back to upskirts and celebrity crotch scratching photos. I almost coughed up my lunch. And she has the gall to say she's going to need "some" airbrushing? The only way Photoshop is going to help her look good is if they get the head and body of a different, much hotter looking girl named Kelly Osbourne and take her fat lump of a body out of the pictures and put the substitute chick in there instead.