The Downfall of the English Language Sends and E-mail

It has become crystal clear to me that the people I work with are, for the most part because there are always exceptions to the rule, a bunch of grammatical retards. I got this e-mail in my work inbox (as well as everyone else in the unit) asking for contributions to celebrate a co-worker's birthday. Throughout the e-mail, anything in [] is me doing commentary on the material contained within the e-mail.

One of your co-workers birthday is arrivaling [arrivaling? When did that become a word? Is the new form of departure now departuraling?] soon we planned to celebrate on the 15th of the month. Xxxxxxx loves Popeyes chicken [I like it too, but I'm a vegetarian, so I'm contributing for food that I can't eat], everybody knows that food are expenses [I also know food is expensive], and we can’t afford to feed people that don’t contribute. So in order to make this date a successful one for xxxxxxx we are asking everyone in her unit to give $5.. [not sure why there's a double period there] Again this is for the chicken, cake or cheesecake (her speciality) [which she didn't make, so I think she meant her "favorite"] and etc…Keep in mind xxxxxxx gives to everybody…P.S. If you don’t donate we have to asked you not to help yourself with the food [what? I did donate, and I didn't help myself to the food]… ..Any questios please contact xxxx —ext.xxx & xxx-xxx ext.xxxxx

I x'd out the person's name and extension for their protection, but this e-mail was seriously circulated to every single person in my unit. Furthermore, it was authored by someone that just celebrated working for the bank 30 years. That's longer than I have been alive. You'd think that in those 30 years of service, she would have learned how to write something semi-coherent, but I guess not.

The Downfall of the English Language Takes a Pee Break

Every so often, I run across something at work which just makes me think "goddamn G.E.D. is just not enough these days". The picture above is a flier for a fund-raising event at work that was posted above one of the urinals in the bathrooms, hence the title of this post, which is good. I have nothing against charitable donations and it doesn't sound like a terrible event either. You pay 5 bucks and you get to play the latest Madden game on either an XBOX 360 or a Playstation 3 for an hour or so. I don't have a problem with the inherent idea, it's just the execution of the flier that bothers me. And if it hasn't already stuck out like a sore thumb for you, then you might want to consider if you've become part of the problem.

So, right there, in the middle of the flier, in the largest font, someone decided to use the wrong "your". Classic mistake someone would expect to run into . . . in elementary school. But whomever took the time to make this flier isn't in elementary school. They're not even in high school. They've joined the work force, and this is what they're contributing. They're not bringing their A game. More like their D+ game.

But, I can't point it out at work. I had the unfortunate experience of bringing this up to someone who had made a rather nice flier for a baby shower a few months ago, and even though I was well meaning and complimented the flier and the hard work they must have put into it, the person was not all that receptive to my constructive criticism of their work, and just walked away, probably thinking I was a douchebag elitist . . . just because I know which words to use and when to use them.

So, from now on, I don't point this out anymore. I'd rather rant about it here. Where I can say whatever the fuck I want. But at least I'm saying it in a coherent and easy to follow format.

The End of A Week that Felt Like an Era AKA: BAFW Vacation Pre-Cursor Post

I'm sure you've heard (or in this case read) me harp about my disdain for the end of the month. My job gets intense around then. Everything kicks into high gear and my teammates and I are doing anything (within the realm of federal and banking regulations) to meet and hopefully exceed or goal to ensure a nice fat bonus check the next month. Two fifteen hour days (5 AM - 8 PM) followed by a 5 AM - 2 PM day that caps off what I like to call "Collections Hell Week".

Today was specially tough on me as not only did I have to get through that, but I also needed to prepare to take a trip out to Utah to meet my wife who flew out there Thursday morning. My work obligations kept me in Los Angeles until now. But that meant that, after work today, I couldn't really just kick my shoes and vegge out in front of my big screen. No. I had to get to the store to pick up some stuff up that I needed for my 12 hour drive (I heard I could probably do it in 10) tomorrow morning. Which means I had to get my car in tip-top shape. Oil change, tire rotation, etc. I also had to drop off my dog at my mom's, who graciously offered to dog-sit for me over the weekend. I also had to take my wife's car to the body shop to mend a fender bender so that my wife could have her car back by the time we're back in town, which also meant I had to take public transportation (gasp!) home after that.

A pretty full day after having to wake up at 3:30 AM to get to work by 5 AM today. But now it's all winding down. I'm making a ton of CD's to keep me entertained (and awake) on the road. And it's also, officially the beginning of BAFW vacation # . . . . umm . . . I lost track of which vacation number this is this year. I know it's definitely the last one for the year. After this, I think I have 3 hours left which will shorten one of my days sometime between now and the end of the year.

So, I'll be gone for a few days. I'll set the robo-poster to throw out some video posts while I'm gone. There are some pretty cool things hitting theaters that you should know about. Keep posted while I'm gone for more details. In the meantime, I'm off to some relaxation and well deserved rest. I'll see you cool kids around.

BAFW Out!

Yes, a Seacrest joke. I was feeling ironic.

The Downfall of the English Language Takes a Break

This is another fine example of the deterioration of the English language, and clear evidence that I work with morons. A GED is just not enough to cut the mustard these days. It might be a little small, but click on the picture and get it as big as you possibly can, to see the brilliant spelling of the word "Refrigerator" as you've never seen it before. And, the icing on the misspelling cake is that it's not just one sign . . . every fucking sign in that break room has the same spelling for the fridge. And, no one has said anything about it to my knowledge. It's almost enough to make me want to run around with a Sharpie pen, correcting mistakes like these left and right, but what difference can one man make? I'm not the grammar police.

The English Language in the Shitter

It is my own personal opinion (almost bordering on fact actually) that the English language is slowly spiraling down the shitter, as more and more people just plain and outright misuse it. Case in point, this little piece of brilliance I found, appropriately, at my work's men's room . . . in one of their shitters. Now, I appreciate the effort to remind people to not be dirty, and to try to keep the area as clean as possible . . . but "please pick up behind yourself"? WTF? Pick up what behind myself? Did they mean "after" instead of "behind"? Someone already made an attempt at comprehension. When you click on the picture to make it bigger, someone wrote in "take toilet with you". It's not very visible, but it's there.

*sigh* What the fuck work. This is not the only instance of either a misspelling or a completely different word used than what should have been used. I'll try to get more picture evidence. Oooh, now I feel like one of those corporate spies. But I don't shoot on micro-film and I'm not packing a silenced 9mm.

Yet. . . . .

First Day Again

So, today I started a new job in the same company that I've been working at since February of this year. It was pretty much your standard first day, fill out all of your paperwork and go over everything that you'll be doing at my new position. But, there is a twist. I had gone in for a position called "Credit Card Customer Marketing", which is just a fancy name for credit card sales. I guess there was a big shake up in the call center where we were, and that particular department as of today is being transitioned into a line of business that goes by the name of "Customer Assistance". Now, that might sound like a customer service job, which is what I had just left to take this sales position, mainly for the increase in pay and the commissions. But, as everything was explained to us, it turns out that "Customer Assistance" is just a fancy way of saying collections.

I've had collections experience in the past. And had actually passed up, or rather, snubbed a position that I had off-handedly applied for in that department for the sales job. So, in a way, it's a little ironic. It's like the position was chasing me. It must be destiny. And it's a pretty great position from what I heard today. Lots of opportunity for advancement. Uncapped incentive plans for making more than what my new (and already higher) base pay provides. But, the only downside that I'm seeing here is that, rather than being in an inbound call environment, it's going to be an outbound call environment. At least for the first few months. Then, we can start taking inbound collections calls. Whatever. As long as they're paying me more, I'm totally down.

It did strike me as surprising that about 85% of the class is made up of mortgage people. I did not know just how bad that particular industry was doing so bad that they needed something to supplement their incomes. Something that would potentially be considered a step down from making then ton of commission money that they were used to making. But, they all seemed upbeat about it. Everyone agreed that the prestige that the bank brings with it will help them in the future.

This might hamper my ability to post stuff in the coming weeks during training. I had to shift my schedule from starting no earlier than noon to starting at 8AM during training and then moving to a 9AM - 6PM locked schedule. So, I don't have time to lounge around in the morning, free to post and play videogames while I should be using that time for more productive things . . . like . . . oh I don't know, getting off my lazy ass making a semi-regular trip to the gym. Which I'm still paying for. Fuck I throw money around for no reason sometimes.

Parking Oppression

While doing my weekly "Tuesday-Wednesday" musical parking spots routine, I started thinking to myself . . . why is it that the higher-ups don't have to do this? I realize that there is a limited amount of parking available in the building that I work at, but if anyone can afford to spend $3.00 for daily parking at the lot next to the building, it would be them. They're the ones that have the big fat salaries. Why can't they concede the free in-building parking to the little man (or woman)?

Why? Because doing this would rob them of their sense of self-importance. They make the highest salaries around based on the almost oppressive business practices that they impose on us "grunts", so why should they park where everyone else parks. This would not do. And it would not please Xenu (yeah, "those people" run this business).

So what is the "Tuesday-Wednesday" shuffle all about? Since I don't make as much money (raise you say? Ha!) I can't afford to use the parking lots adjacent to the building, so I have to use street parking. Which is free, but is 2 blocks away. No biggie. The only problem is that, on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, the City of Glendale does street cleaning from 8:00 AM - 10:00 AM. So one side of the street is unparkable for that period of time . . . unless you want a $45 dollar ticket. On these days, since I get into work at 9:00 AM, I put 50 cents into one of the parking meters on the lots next to the building, and then at 10:00 AM, I run downstairs, hop in my car, and park in one of the freshly available parking spots.

It might not seem like much, but after a year of doing this, it starts to get a little on the tedious side. Sometimes I am fortunate enough to find a busted meter and parking is free for the day. Those times are becoming more and more sparse. And since I somehow make less and less money the longer I work for this place, I don't see myself indulging in a full day of lot parking anytime soon. *sigh* I hate working here.