Normal Adolescent Behavior

When did I license the rights to my life to Hollywood? Why do you ask? Because this movie is just how I remember my high school experience to be. Wait a minute. This has more sex and drugs than when I went to high school. Fuck! Hollywood, why can't you preserve the integrity of anything. Imma sue someone.

This movie I had never heard of before comes out sometime this year. If you want to see Hollywood's version of my life, check it out. But I'm warning you, they take severe dramatic licenses. Like making up everything.

New Advertiser Welcome Mat

I'd like to welcome the newest advertiser here at BAFW. Antix Clothing is a pretty cool place for you to get some rockin' t-shirts . . . or "tees" as the kids are calling them these days. If you want a t-shirt with Bob Ross and some happy little trees and/or Che Guevara with Mickey Mouse ears, they're the people to go to. Check them out, you can click on the image on this post to find their online store or you can check my sidebar, which is a mess of links and ads in the future. Have fun shopping.

28 Weeks Later Trailer (HD)

So, yesterday I showed you the poster for the movie "28 Weeks Later", the sequel to "28 Days Later". Being that today is a brand new day, I thought I'd provide you with the link to the trailer's website so you can see it in glorious Quicktime HD. Trust me, it's the only way to view trailers. I recommend the 720P format, which took up my whole computer's screen to display. Plus, the file is not as large as the 1080P version, but hey, if you have the time and the screen real estate, then knock yourself out.

From what I can tell from the trailer this one is about a family returning to London after the epidemic that pretty much destroyed the city in the first movie. Of course, it wouldn't be any fun if the zombies . . . err . . . I mean "infected" didn't show up again, and they do. From there on, it's a desperate race for survival as these "infected" are bloody fast and triple mean.

I'm a big fan of the first movie and will definitely go watch this one when it comes out. You can check the trailer for the movie here. Enjoy.

Sideboob or Nip Slip? Johansson Edition

This could be a nip slip. I can barely make out a little something something through all of the blur present on this picture. What was the camera person using? A Polaroid camera wrapped in Saran Wrap? In any case, it is at the least a sideboob picture of Scarlett Johansson . . . and that's enough to post around here. You make your own decisions.

28 Weeks Later One Sheet

Since I made a reference to this movie and it's predecessor in my post dealing with my upcoming birthday preparations, I thought I'd post up the really bad ass poster they came up with for it. I haven't personally seen this up at any movie theater that I go to, but that's only because I don't see that many movies anymore at the local cineplexes. This is still, though, a very powerful and propaganda'ish looking image that captures the feel of a world (or country) thrown into a zombie-fueled turmoil. I am looking forward to seeing this in theaters when it is released here in the United States. I hope they keep the grimy, DV-Cam, hand-held style of the first one. Zombie movies should not be pretty.

28 Years Later

No, it's not the continuation of the "28 Days Later" and "28 Weeks Later" movies, although, my life needs a little zombie battling action. I mean, whose doesn't right? My 28th year on this planet is looming ever so closely, and I, for the first time in my long and storied existence on this stellar body we call "Earth" . . . am not all that excited about it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because the previous 27 birthdays haven't been all that memorable. I'm not your typical party animal I guess. I'm more comfortable hanging out with a drink and chilling rather than getting all crazy drunk (crunk) and inciting a riot that would attract the attention of the police.

Which is what might happen this weekend, when my wife is throwing me a little get-together/party with a few of our friends. There's always potential for mayhem when these sorts of things happen. I've been to the parties that have been held at some of these people's houses, and they tend to get buck-wild. Me, being the conciderate prick that I am, am actually worried that we'll get a noise complaint and that I'll have to deal with a couple of cops on that night. I'm planning on drinking, so I can only imagine that any conversation I have with the fuzz while inebriated might not end well for me.

So, would that end up being the ultimate present? Will Jaime have a run in with the long arm of the law on his birthday? I guess you'll have to tune in next week to find out. I wonder if they have internet access at the local jails these days. Instead of getting my one free phone call, I could opt out and get one free blog post. Oh man, this isn't even funny.

But, it could all end well and thanks to my wife, end up being the best birthday ever. I'm going with this one. Regardless of what happens, keep coming back for more, people.

Musically Inclined Mondays - Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah is a weird name for a band. But that's just what their music makes you want to do. The two MP3's I'm uploading represent some of their best work (as far as I'm concerned, and my opinion is fact. Scientific fact. My head's not just big because of some freak genetic predisposition. It has to hold all that extra brains. And why is this parenthisized space so large? Let's get back to the actual post). So, what're you waiting for. Eat up my precious bandwidth with your internets music pirating. And then, check out the band's website here for some more Satan filled Yankee expelling fun times.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Yankee Go Home
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Satan Said Dance

Box Office Report - "Cowabunga Dudes!"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - The number one movie in the land, is a CG-animated continuation of the movies that we all enjoyed in the early 90's . . . or was it the 80's? I don't even remember. It was so long ago. I don't even know if they still say "cowabunga" in the new one. I didn't watch it. My wife, on the other hand, during a moment of induced weakness, agreed to go watch this on Friday night with a couple of her friends and it left them all in various stages of disappointment. Nostalgia can only carry something so far. Hell, I can't count the number of things I used to love as a child and when I revisit them now, I'm left wondering just what the fuck was wrong with me.

300 - This movie I did watch, three weeks ago, and it continues to make tons of money. It can actually be weighed in that amount. I mean, how much do you think 160+ million dollars weighs. I'm pretty sure it's an unimaginable amount of money. There's only a few people that can tell you how much that weighs, but I'm sure Bill Gates and those Google guys just swim in their money. No time to weigh that shit.

Shooter - "Marky" Mark Wahlberg's newest tough hombre fare does not fare well on it's opening weekend, being that it got beat by a three week old movie where no one fires a single gun, and a movie that stars ninja turtles. Still, number three ain't that bad. If you're in the Special Olympics, where everyone is a winner. So, we can call "Shooter" this weekend's "special" movie. Good going. Do you want a lollipop?

Wild Hogs - Utter shit personified in celluloid form would be a better title for this movie about mid-life crisis white (and one token black guy - mah-tin!) guys taking the "weekend warrior" way of life as they hop on their Harley Davidson motorcycles and . . . apparently, some sort of hilarity ensues. Whatever. Just remember, when you go watch this movie, which has already made 120+ million dollars, you're punishing yourself. Might as well save the ten bucks and give yourself ten lashes. Your mind will love you. Your back, well, the two of you's won't be on speaking terms for a while. But remember . . . time heals all wounds.

The Last Mimzy - What is a "mimzy" and what is it doing in my top five? I know that "Dwight" from "The Office" is in this, but he was also in "Sahara" and you saw how much that stunk. This is the other kid film which opened this weekend that did not have catch-phrase spewing martial artist reptiles in half-shells, so it was expected to make a little money. Still, 10+ million is nothing to sneeze at. Maybe you can clean your nose with a "mimzy", if that's what it is used for. Can someone tell me what the fuck a "mimzy" is!?

Search Terms - IHOS Summit Continues

This past week, I chose to keep up with the international flavored theme I went for with the previous Search Terms post, and actually managed to capture more countries this time around performing dirty dirty searches on the internets. I guess that's just how the world is these days. Let's start with the land of the free and the brave. Here are the searches originating from our own backyards.

free linsey lohan crotch shoot naked - Yahoo Search
survivor nip slips - Google Search
louise banks pantyless upskirt - Google Search
paris hilton +pantyshot +pantyless - Google Search
"daniel radcliffe's cock" - Google Search
Kyra Sedgwick upskirt - Google Search
sienna miller mpegs - Google Search
figure skater with biggest wedgie - Google Search
rachel mcadams panty red eye - Google Search
hayden panettiere upskirt - Google Search
Hayden Panettiere panties - Google Search
dan radcliffe cock pictures - Google Search
eva green dreamers video wmv - Google Search
rose mcgowan the actress amputee - Google Search
Hentai Pics of Naked Cortana - Google Search
Emma Watson's butt - Google Search
lilly allen boob - Google Search
evangeline lilly bra size - AOL Search
beyonce see up her skirt video muff shot - Google Search
does Kim Kardashian get peed on? - BlogSearch
eva green titties - Google Search
sinful comics kiera - Google Search
natalie portman pink dress v for vendetta - Google Search
She's the man screencaps - Google Search
requiem for a dream dildo mpeg - Google Search
pirates sinful comics photos - Google Search
morgan webb used panties - Google Search
Cannes caused Kirsten Dunst pee her bikini - Google Search
tv talk shows nipple slips and upskirts oops video clips - Earthlink Search
american idol upskirts - BlogSearch
hayden panettiere thong - Netscape Search
"pantyhose" - BlogDigger Search
emilie de ravin naked pictures - Google Search
hostel topless screencaps - Google Search
stacy ferguson boob slip - Google Search
catherine keener hairy armpit celebs - Google Search
upshorts in the park - Google Search

Next, we're crossing the Atlantic Ocean and landing in the land of bad teeth, black beer, and fish & chips. Let's see what the United Kingdom (including Ireland) is looking for.

bianca gascoigne no knickers - AOL Search UK
ice skating nipple slips - Google Search UK
emma watson nip slips - Google Search UK
is fergie an hermaphrodite - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne boob - Google Search IE
bianca gascoigne flash - Google Search UK
lily allen upskirt - Google Search UK
anna farris nipple - Google Search UK
presenter upskirt pictures - MSN Live Search UK
bluepeter upskirt - Google Search UK
upskirt pantyless - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne beaver shot - Yahoo Search UK
peeing french gymnast - Google Search UK
Emma Watson what underwear does she wear thong knickers - Google Search UK

Canada is next. For no other reason that I chose it to be that way. Deal.

inphyy naked pics - Google Search CA
amanda bynes sinful comics - Google Search CA
kardashian.mpeg - Google Search CA
Peter Wentz Naked Sidekick Pictures - Google Search CA
dress malfunctions - Google Search CA

The land of Tech Support is up next. The outsourcing Mecca (India) came through with some rather uninteresting searches, except for that one Meryll Streep search. Why India . . . why?

eva green boobs - Google Search IN
nude meryll streep - Google Search IN
bollywood nip slip - Google Search IN
nip slip of indian actress - Google Search IN

Next up is where I get my modular furniture. If only they packed better instructions over in Sweden. I mean, a stick figure and thought bubbles? If IKEA weren't so fucking cheap, I'd be pissed off. But, we're here for the searches baby. Let's focus.

emma watson without underwear - Google Search SE
janice dickinson flashing - Google Search SE
hermione granger upskirt - Google Search SE

The lists are getting smaller, but not less weird and fucked up. Case in point - Saudi Arabia. Umm . . . I don't know why they ended up here with the first search on the short list, but that's just wrong. Even for me.

photos childrens dip in beach underwear - Google Search SA
"jennifer love hewitt nipple slip' - Google Search SA

South Africa has some less pedophilic searches, but they also tend to skew old, as they're still looking for those Basic Instict pictures from when Sharon Stone was still young'ish.

sharon stone chair, OR bare, OR panties "basic instinct" -porn "picture of" photograph - Google Search ZA

The Republic of Korea (that's the one on the southern end . . . and not the crazy one) has internets access, unlike their neighbors to the north, who don't even have electricity. Which, doesn't mean that they're actually using it for the posterity of mankind. No, here's what they're spending their time on.

Lindsay Morgan Lohan panty-less - Google Search KR
Lindsay Lohan exposed no underwear - Google Search KR

While not busy flamenco dancing and pronouncing their S's like Z's, Spain hops on the internet and looks for the following:

BRA + SEE TROUGH + GALLERIES - Google Search ES
jennifer morrison photos-nude - Google Search ES

The rest of the countries in this little conglomeration of search terms all had single digit search results, so I just lump them in here. Plus, I'm tired and ready to go back to sleep. Six straight days of working will do that to you. Try it some day.

Phillipines
Kim Kardashian & Ray J Sextape - DVD RIP download - Google Search PH

Austria
pirates of the caribbean sinful comics - Google Search AT

Italy
WATERPARK NIP SLIP - Google Search IT

Malta
scarlett johansen's boob slip - Google Search MT

Turkey
nippleslips blogspot - Google Search TR

The Wrong Malakar

I don't watch "American Idol". It's not my cup of tea. But, apparently there's this contestant on it that despite an incredible lack of talent and generally looking like he's just seconds away from a sex change operation is still in the running. Yes, I'm talking about Sanjaya, and I have seen all the clips on "The Soup" and "Best Week Ever" on Friday nights to know that dude is all kinds of untalented. It's obvious that all the talent went to his sister, the weirdly monikered Shyamali Malakar, who had also auditioned for the show, but somehow got cut early on. There are two very good reasons why she should have been on the show, and you initially won't notice that until the magic of slow motion helps you appreciate just what I'm talking about.

I Heart David O. Russell

Holy fucking shit. This is just released "out-take" footage of director David O. Russell fucking losing it on the set of "I Heart Huckabees". I thought the movie was pretty entertaining before I saw this movie, but now, I must absolutely own this. Why don't the special features in movies include this? I mean, he could have killed Lily Tomlin during this altercation, that's how pissed off he looks. Enjoy his fine use of the English language throughout the clip. It's cinematic bliss.

I can just picture Jason Schwartzman and Dustin Hoffman looking at each other during this and wondering what the fuck they got into. Classic Hollywood. I heart this clip.

Carlos Mencia = World's Biggest Douche-nozzle

Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Wow. Joe Rogan was right. Carlos Mencia steals "his" material. Well, not really his material when it has been performed by other comedians . . . over 20 motherfucking years ago. Come on you fucking beaner (that's what he calls himself, even though he's German). How could you be so stupid. I mean, you're stealing from Bill Cosby? You're performing his shit like you thought this up one day between runs to Taco Bell? I don't really care much that he steals jokes. What pisses me off is that this asshole is making money hand over fist with the stolen material. I mean, anyone can re-tell a joke. But this guy has fooled Comedy Central into giving him specials and shows and all the shit that goes along with being on television. Fuck him. I wish God would just take an enormous dump on his head and snuff his mortal coil.

Lindsay Lohan - Panty-ho Supreme

What the fuck is this world coming to. I just posted pictures of Janice Dickinson flashing her panty-hosed camel-toe and here I am, not 20 minutes later, posting a picture of Lindsay Lohan outdoing Janice Dickinson. I didn't know that was possible. But, see, you just can't underestimate Lindsay. Remember, this is the girl that flashed her ass to an entire auditorium full of kids during the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award. And what is she doing? Did she just decide to hike up her skirt so the world can see her entire (shaven) cooter (and we ain't talking adorable turtle or Duke's of Hazzard characters here)? Why, I ask. Why? How is this making our world a better place. I almost wish the camera were not invented if this is what it is being used for. Certainly a low point in the history of photography. Unless you're beating off to this. Then . . . you've just reached your masturbatory Mecca. Enjoy, you dirty bastard(s).

Future Fervently Searched For Natalie Portman Scene

Currently, Natalie Portman lovers are in a state of frantic infatuation with the scene from "V for Vendetta" where Natalie is dressed up as a schoolgirl and trying to seduce a member of the clergy for the terrorist V. Well, lovers of church officials getting it on with girls (as opposed to the totally inappropriate young boys genre) can rejoice, as a movie called "Goya's Ghost" is set to be released this year that, if you ignore the fact that a body double is being used, features torture scenes involving a naked Natalie Portman and some hanky-panky action with her Inquisitorial priest. What more could you ask for right? Oh, an actual scene with her naked, doing all sort of nasty things to your schlong and/or va-j-j (depending on the reader's sexual orientation). Well, don't expect that to happen anytime soon. I hear she's got editing exclusivity on everything that she shoots, so your little sex-tape with her would end up with all the "good" parts edited out. That's just Natalie Portman for you . . . cocktease.

Janice Dickinson - Panty-ho

Janice Dickinson is officially crazy. That's just my personal opinion, which is always based on scientific facts. Like, exhibit A. Who in their right mind does this? I mean, seriously. Isn't this someone's mother? I can already picture what that poor disturbed little bastard has to live through. When he hangs out with his friends they probably tell him about how they saw his mother's old pantyhosed camel-toe on the internets. It's almost as fucked up as Cartman seeing his mother's German Schize movies on the internet on that episode of "South Park". And yes, I am comparing their life to a cartoon. Because, if there's anything Janice Dickinson is, it's a cartoon of an actual person. She's like Roger motherfuckin Rabbit . . . but sluttier. Oh, and has anyone else noticed that she has one of the most unintentionally dirty last names ever devised by the English language? Dick-in-son? Holy Jesus titty-banging Christ! One more picture of Janice showing us her "good" side? I don't know anymore.

TuGMO - Liquid Encouragement

I'm willing to bet that ain't fruit punch in those plastic cups. Unless it's mixed in with some vodka. I love these kids of parties (but why don't I ever get invited to them?). I have seen something like this live, in person, on Sunset Blvd at like 2 in the morning. If I haven't told you this story, I'll make sure to remember to retell it sometime. I have to go look through the archives though. I also love the encouragement that is happening in the background. One of the chicks starts saying that she's drooling all over the other one, but the guys chime in with a "don't worry about it, keep going" that just shows you the great friendships they have formed with these girls. These are the types of guys that drop "roofies" into those cups and then get it on with the chicks, passed out style.

Emma Watson and Magic not BFF

It looks like all of you internet perverts will have to look for a new object of your masturbatory affection, as Emma Watson, also known as Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter movies, is getting out of the magic business. While nothing is final, Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint (Harry and the red-headed dude from the movies) report that their relationship with Emma is not all that great anymore and that she doesn't want to be known as "that girl from the Harry Potter movies". Around here she's known as "that girl everyone wants to see nude pictures of". But, movie studio Warner Bro's is not finalizing anything. Here's what the BBC has to say about this:

"We're extremely confident that Emma will be back for films six and seven," a spokesperson for the Hollywood studio told CBBC's Newsround.

The statement comes amid speculation that the 16-year-old told the company she did not want to continue.

Daniel Radcliffe has already agreed to take the lead role in both productions.

So, does this mean that people will now look for naked pictures of the new Hermione? Or will they remain loyal to their original pubescent object of their desire. Only time will tell I guess.

Paris Hilton vs. Penis

I realize that I really shouldn't be uploading and then posting every picture of Paris Hilton that I find on the internets. Mostly because I think she's a pretty disgusting (oxymoron anyone?) human being, but also because my Photobucket decides to delete random pictures based on some service agreement they made me agree with when I went with them for picture hosting. Always read the fine print kids. So, I might as well just redirect you people to where the actual pictures are so that I don't see those annoying replacement jpg's they load telling everyone that I violated their service agreements. So, remember ladies and gentlemen, the title of this post is "Paris Hilton vs. Penis", and the penis in question allegedly belongs to Cee-Lo of "Gnarls Barkley" fame. Judge for yourselves after you check out the extremely NSFW picture here.

Musically Inclined Mondays - Malajube

I am not a big fan of anything French. Their general attitude towards the United States and their love for eating snails and giving it a fancy name (escargot) just leaves me cold. That is not the same for French-Canadians though, which thanks to Malajube, I'm really starting to love. It might be their relaxed laws when it comes to hashish, or just because they rock out pretty damn well. It doesn't even bother me that their music is in French. It's just damn enjoyable. The first track here is highly recommended. It's catchy, fun, and you will feel very cosmopolitan as you blast this on your computer, car, or MP3 player. The second track is all about the mellow, and it's a nice counterpart to their more pop'y first offering. Download them both and then head out to AltaVista's Babelfish translator if you really want to know what they're singing about.

Malajube - Montreal-40c
Malajube - Etienne D'Aout

Search Terms - IHOS

This week's "Search Terms" are broken down internationally, so, if you're down with acronyms, you should have deciphered the "IHOS" one stands for "International House of Searches". It also, coincidentally, sounds like something a caveman would say if cavemen spoke rudimentary English. I'd like to think they did. It has been scientifically proven in the recesses of my mind. But enough babbling. We start today with the good ol' United States of America searches. From the looks of the searches, we've got a pretty even spread of perversion. The usual suspects appear: Eva Green, Hayden Panettiere, Emma Watson, etc. Nothing all that irregular or showing any sort of trend development.

fergie hermaphrodite - Google Search
papparazzi upskirt gallerys - Google Search
picture of lily allen's boob - Google Search
evangeline lilly buttcrack - Google Search
grace park nipple - Google Search
"hills have eyes" rape scene mpeg - Google Search
kathryn mcphee naked pics - Yahoo Search
sinful comics natalie portman - Google Search
kardashian.wmv - Google Search
about emma watson's boobs - PeoplePC Search
EVA GREEN AREOLA - Comcast Search
Emma Watson nude fakes - BlogSearch
"hayden panettiere thong" - Google Search
Katharine McPhee nipple ring - Google Search
eva green mpeg dreamer - Google Search
kim kardashian video mpeg - Google Search
amanda bynes nip slips - Google Search
rachel weisz panties slip - Google Search
mariah carey muff shot - AOL Search

Let us fly over "the pond" as our friends in the United Kingdom would say, and take a look at their searches. You will see a bit of a trend here. It would seem that their love for Bianca Gascoigne and her pantyless upskirt pictures is waning and it is being replaced by an interesting fascination with pop "star" Lilly Allen's supposed upskirt pictures. None of which I have seen, so I'm thinking I'm a little out of the loop on this. You should have seen the Sitemeter stats on this. While it doesn't show up here (because I don't post repeat searches), the percentage of UK Searches looking for Lilly Allen upskirts was about 85%.

lilly allen upskirt - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne no knickers - Google Search UK
sienna miller mpeg - Google Search UK
the sun emma watson stalked - Google Search UK
nipple "lily allen " - AOL Search UK
Havoc "Anne Hathaway" "Bijou Phillips" raped mpg - Google Search UK
"dan radcliffe cock" - Google Search UK
lilly allen no knickers - Google Search UK
kelly bell no knickers flashing photos - Google Search UK
bianca gascoigne shot - Google Search UK

Moving on, the next few countries don't really have their own sections as the searches I found for them were minimal. That doesn't make them less important, but they are posted here in order of frequency and alphabetically. First up we have a couple of German (DE) searches, one of which uses their German word for "and" (und) which made me giggle a little bit. I don't know why. Germany is closely followed by France, a country that, based on those two searches, is only preoccupied with Harry Potter's penis and upskirt pictures. Next up we have Malaysia, also with 2 searches, which are somewhat on the perverted side. I will have to ask my Malaysian co-worker about this. See if his people are into porno comics and rape scenes from Hollywood movies. Brasil is also interested in comics depicting naughty situations, while our great white neighbor to the north (Canada) is wanting to see upskirts of a certain indestructible cheerleader . . . who is still 17! The Netherlands (NL) and New Zealand (NZ) don't fall that far behind on their lust for underage poontang, as evidenced by their searches.

lindsay lohan-without slip - Google Search DE
upskirt scans und caps - Google Search DE
"daniel radcliff" naked penis - Google Search FR
"upskirt no underwear" - Google Search FR
download Sinful Pirates of the Caribbean Comic - Google Search MY
the hills have eyes rape screencap - Google Search MY
Sinful Comics menage a trois - Google Search BR
hayden panettiere thong slip - Google Search CA
"emma watson" bikini paparazzi - Google Search NL
hayden panettiere rape erotica - Google Search NZ

Now, some of you might think that I post this on purpose to drive traffic to this site. Yes. That is partially correct. I also do it because I find these searches to be extremely interesting. If they were different, I would still post them up here. It's not my fault that everyone is looking for these things. I just report on it. If the searches were totally different in scope, say someone were looking for the fulcrum speed of protons/electrons as they are accelerated in a semi-conductor, I would post that search result here, along with all the other upskirt and nipple slip searches. But, that never happens. The internets is not used for knowledge anymore.