Heidi Klum Sucks at Guitar Hero, Awesome in Commercial

Yes, this commercial for the new "Guitar Hero World Tour" is everywhere lately. Above is the "Director's Cut" of the commercial, it has less shirt, and more Heidi Klum in her bra and panties for your enjoyment. But I have to say, if Heidi Klum were a little better at acting, she would actually be at least trying to play the song on the guitar controller she's playing around with. Not that I'm complaining (too much), but a video game nerd like myself just can't suspend disbelief at the drop of a hat . . . or in this case, at the lack of clothes on a MILF. Yeah, Heidi Klum has had like a ton of kids and she still looks like that. Which is commendable on it's own, but it doesn't excuse her from reality. The lack of gaming prowess is even more evident in the regular, non-director's cut edition of the commercial, which is the one that's getting the most air-time, and hopefully, secretly irking other nerds like myself. Take a look below.

Heidi Klum Appreciates Boobs like an 8th Grader

This is one of those videos you might want to view with the sound turned on mute. Why? Because Heidi Klum is fucking nuts. Not "nucking futs", because it's not cute. It's some sort of serious dementia that turns slightly older supermodels into blathering 8th grade boys talking about how much they love boobs. I think she even resorts to comparing her rack to a pair of machine guns. I mean, who does that? Other than all of us, while we were going through puberty.

Heidi Klum's Buttcrack

Don't ask me which event Heidi Klum is at when these pictures were taken. That's not the important thing here. Neither is how the hell did Seal manage to bag this supermodel. Let's just put that to rest. Deal with the devil or Jesus's favorite human being. It could go either way. No, what's important, which you will see after you read this and scroll down, is the fact that the fashion competition show judge is wearing a dress that might not pass muster if one of the would-be designer's on "Project Runway" were to have designed it. It does a terrible job of covering up Heidi's buttcrack, but, if you're one of those "glass half full" people, then it does a fantastic job of showing Heidi's asscrack. Even Seal can't believe it, as you can clearly see where his eyes are focusing on.

Supermodels from the Past Bare All

I remember when Claudia Schiffer was super-hot. I think I was still in my teens then. But, it's been almost 10 years since I was that young. So, seeing her recent pictures from the French Vogue brings back fond memories. It also makes me want to go back in the past and see her posing like this ten years ago. If only my time machine were operational. I mean . . . I don't have a time machine. What's that? (shh! the Men in Black can never know). Another one of these old supermodels is Heidi Klum, who is also posing naked when she's not busy hosting shows on Bravo. This picture below is from a magazine called "Arena" . . . and you can argue that she's technically not naked. She is wearing high heels. Which is a good look for her. I just wish that they stop here. Ten years from now, when I'm nearing my 40's (holy shit . . . what the fuck!) I do not, absolutely do not, want to see Claudia Schiffer and Heidi Klum in magazines, naked. I don't buy the granny porn mags now, I don't see a reason to buy them then.