Mini-Me's Sex Tape Co-Star Speaks

There's a gripping piece of journalism over at News of the World that looks into the sordid details about Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer's sexual escapades. As you might have heard, there is a sex tape out there that features the diminutive "star" and a regular sized lady, doing the horizontal mambo. I'm sure as hell not going to post the video. Midget sex is not sexy. But, here are a couple of excerpts from the news article for you. In case it makes you want to seek out the video elsewhere . . . freak.

"For a small guy he's quite well endowed. I had no complaints.But the whole thing was over in three minutes. It was strange having sex with someone who couldn't reach to kiss me at the same time, except for my tummy that is! I was so relieved it was over" . . . "I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub," she said. "Sadly I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him"

LOL! He almost died trying to have sex with her. Must have been a great piece of ass you're wondering . . . Um . . maybe not so much. I mean, for Verne, this is a catch, but if it were me, I would not have risked my life for this:

Lindsay Blow-han, Maybe?

This fantastically low-res picture is making the rounds right now and it would appear that a famous Hollywood star known for her generally good behavior is getting a little bit of a midnight cock-snack. OK, who are we fooling, Linsday Lohan is not known for her good behavior. Quite the opposite actually. Is this from a sex-tape that might be appearing all over the internets soon? Possibly. Is that even Lindsay Lohan? Perhaps. Until it is proven wrong, this is all the proof I need. It does make a little sense though. Apart from Lindsay being a total whore most of the time, she does admire the show "Sex and the City". As you can remember if you read this blog regularly, Kristin Davis was recently caught doing the same thing. Lindsay might just be following the footsteps, or rather, cock-gobblings of her idols.

Kristin Davis Sex & the Tape

When will people realize that, if you do anything remotely sexually related on camera, it will get out to bite you in the ass eventually. Although, Kristin Davis seems to be doing the biting as far as these pictures are concerned. The "Sex and the City" star is seen in the pictures below orally pleasing a guy and his penis. Which, I don't personally have a problem with. What I will have a problem with is the legal action that Davis might take later on when this blows up all over shows like "Entertainment Tonight" and "The Insider". She should just own up and say: "Yes, that is me sucking a cock. I do that, so what?". This sort of attitude would totally deflate any problem. It's not like she's doing something that is totally morally reprehensible. Like . . . you know, pooing into a cup and then sharing it with a lesbian lover. Now that . . . is wrong.



Kristin Davis' character "Charlotte" gets acquainted with Mr. Medium

Winona Ryder Sex Tape

"The Ten" is a pretty hilarious looking movie which I heard about a few months ago. And, I'm still not sure when it's coming out. But I do know this. Winona Ryder gets it on with a puppet. That makes for some good comedy right there. It's not as graphic as I would like it, but you have to agree that this is a pretty good marketing technique. So, keep an eye out for this movie when it hits theaters. Unless it already has, in which case, what are you doing wasting your time here?

Quick Edit - Ah, so the movie came and went, and it's going to be released on DVD this January. Here's the trailer. Remember, I did the above as a goof.

Eva Longoria Sex Tape

Hmm . . . I had heard about this . . . but, just like that Meg White sex tape, this one is not for real. It's actually for a website called "FunnyOrDie.com", which I'm pretty sure it's run by Will Ferrell and some of his comedian friends. Oh well, I didn't want to see that Mexican lawn gnome getting it on with some dude anyway.

Meg White Sex Tape?

When I hear "sex tape", there's a list of usual suspects that immediately pop-in to my head. Both Hilton sisters, Vanessa Hudgens, Pam Anderson, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears . . . but Meg White? Of "The White Stripes"? Not so much. But, it would appear that a video has been leaked out on the interweb of her and some guy getting it on. I've seen the 2 minutes and change and all I have to say is, well, it's kind of gross. And, confusingly arousing at the same time. Sure, Meg White is not in great shape, I don't find her to be all that attractive . . . but it's still two people fucking like rabbits. Chubby-chasers can head out to Egotastic which is hosting the video (I don't know why) to experience it for themselves.

Kim Kardashian - Screen Captured

These crazy kids and their sex-tapes. Just because I like to cater to my readership, here are screen shots of the Kim Kardashian sextape she's currently starring in with her then boyfriend, celebrity man-slaughteress Brandy's brother, Ray J. I have to say that the production values are much higher than the ones featured in her BFF Paris Hilton's sextape, and that alone might be reason enough to get this.

But why should you care that this girl, whom you've probably never heard of if you don't run in certain Hollywood circles, has a tape of her engaging in sexual intercourse. Well, there is the part about the water sports, and we're not talking water skiing. Ray J does his best R Kelly impression and pees on her. Not exactly sure where, but I'm picturing it as going all over her face. Because, if you're going to pee on a chick, you're not going to pee on her ankle. Come on, let's be reasonable here. Enjoy the screen shots all over this post and then head out to Egostastic which is hosting the trailer for the video here. They also have more screen captures of the video, along with far better coverage than I can provide. One more shot below.

A Product of her Environment?

All I know about Kim Kardashian is that she and her best friend, Paris Hilton, are connected at the hip. They go everywhere together, do the same things, wear the same clothes, carry the same shiny and ginormous purses . . . and now . . . participate in the same fame-catapulting activity du jour. What's that? Homemade porno. Yes, there is a Kim Kardashian sex tape out there, currently being brokered for sale. The Kardashian camp denies the existence of it . . . but it's probably likely that there is. "Who's she 'starring' in this little home movie with?" you ask. The answer: R&B singer R-Jay, Moesha's . . . wait, I'm sorry, Brandy's little brother. Who, by the way, in what makes this story interesting, takes a page out of R. Kelly's book and ends scene with a golden shower. Look it up on the "urbandictionary.com" if you're not familiar with what that is. It is the classiest of water sports. So, good going Kim. Maybe you can star, along with Paris, in the next season of the "Simple Life". America loves their amateur porn stars.